9 year old served ‘birthday drinks’ at sleepover

[Calpi]

My daughter recently attended a birthday sleepover. The girls are 9 years old which I thought was slightly on the young side so I was a little hesitant but agreed.

I have just seen some pictures and I really am not happy. The girls were given ‘birthday drinks’. They were only squash and obviously no alcohol was used but they were served in actual plastic flutes. The drink was bright pink with fizzy sweets in the glass but I’m not happy.

The mum in question parents very differently. Her 9 year old gets bought VERY expensive skincare products. And her daughter acts like a
full on teen - we’re talking crop tops, Stanley cups, skincare, TikTok dances, eyeshadow etc. I have been in the girl’s bedroom and she has a dressing table completely covered in drunk elephant etc. The mum is into that overconsumption stuff she sees online. Fine, parent how you want but I want my daughter to have a childhood and to not be adultified.

AIBU in thinking this was massively inappropriate? Why couldn’t they have just made milkshakes or smoothies? Or an ice cream sundae?

The OP referred to the birthday girl’s dressing table being covered in Drunk Elephant products.

Ooh yes and you pretended to smoke! Needless to say all these years later that it obviously had zero effect as I have always been a non smoker...chill out OP

So you have an issue with 9 y/o girls pretending at being grown up with soft drinks in flutes, but presumably no issue with much younger girls playing at being grown up/being mummy with baby dolls and the like? Or playing house? Children have emulated adults since the dawn of time. Role play is an important part of development.

she didn’t give them alcohol so this is such a non issue.

You need to get some real problems
And 9 is definitely not too young for a sleepover!
Your daughter's behavior sounds like a kickback of a sheltered life to be honest. I think you need to lighten up.

Good lord you really are “not like the other girls” aren’t you?

So much judgement and SOOOOO much misogyny in your post OP.

Just seen that you give your 9 yr old sips of wine 😂 omg the hypocrisy is astounding!

Also side note I drink non alcoholic drinks out of fancy glasses I shouldn't have to be left out.

Why is 9 deemed young for a sleepover, they started much younger around here. Mine are adults now, but you need to chill a bit. Nothing wrong with birthday drinks in a flute .... as for skincare etc, it's up to them how they parent, they could be doing a lot worse. Don't isolate your DD over trivia like this OP.

Was there a Crack-Pipe in the party bag ???

Is this all because you don’t like how the other mum is brining up her daughter? Is the daughter happy, have they got a nice relationship? TBH it’s none of your beeswax

Surprised to see you getting such a hard time, OP.

I don't disagree with what you are saying.

I wouldn't be kicking up a fuss or anything, and I don't think it's going to turn the 9 year olds into raging alcoholics.

I just think "why?"

I just don't see the need for it.

Let them be kids. They can be teens when they are teens 🤷‍♀️

You let your 9 year old drink wine from your glass???

but don’t agree with a soft drink in a plastic flute?

give your head a wobble

I don't think the OP would have minded the pop in a fancy glass if that was all it was, as she said..it's the context of the skincare etc. So it becomes part of the whole 'lambrini girls' female conditioning..let's have some fizz and do our nails etc which I agree is a bit sad at 9 but it's nothing new

The only way to be in absolute control about what your daughter is exposed her is for her to always be at home with you and not go to parties or have friends. That will do far more damage than drinking squash out of a plastic champagne flute. You sound really judgemental from your description of the other girls bedroom/ parents - if you’re raising your daughter to have her own interests and not buckle under peer pressure then none of that should matter.

What?
😂

So you let your 9 year old sip WINE, but are fuming that she's had a SOFT DRINK off another parent? Honestly get a grip before you ruin her childhood memories not letting her do things because you're so uptight.

Did you miss the part where she said she lets her 9 year old take sips of her wine?

Defo being unreasonable...its a bit of fun and like another poster said reminds me of getting a Shirley Temple on holiday when I was young.
Also no issue with a 9 year old using some skincare but NOT Drunk Elephant which isn't for that age group !!

I remember being served a “snowball” at a party when I was 8. I thought I was so elegant.

(Realises that posters under 40 will not even know what one is!)

The girls had a special fizzy drink in a grown up glass. It’s your inference that it’s alcohol-adjacent, not theirs.

Better hide the Shloer at Christmas OP in case your daughter pretends it’s wine (like all other children do!!!)

Youre going to end up having your daughter excluded from things by being a killjoy. Unclench.

You give your 9 year old sips of wine, but you’re upset about an entirely booze free mocktail?! This is entirely bizarre reaction from you given that information!

I do this with my Rainbow unit. We have the umbrellas ,roll the top of the glass in sugar and serve orange squash. They are 5. No parent has ever complained!

“simulated cocktails”

🤣🤣🤣

Sorry but unless there was alcohol in the drinks then it doesn't seem remotely inappropriate. 9 year old girls love pink, sparkly things. So pink pop with fizzy sweets in it, well it's not exactly what an adult would drink is it?
I guess if they were actually calling it 'cocktails' or 'champagne' then it could be a bit off.
Otherwise it sounds fine.
When I was about that age I used to run around in a charity shop wedding dress with a video camera, bingeing on sweets and pretending they were ecstacy tablets and we were in a rave! It's just called using your imagination?

You're going to have one of those teenagers that completely rebels because of your attitude towards things like this!

Its a nice little concept for 'Birthday Drinks' to feel special and more 'grown up' they're 9, not 3!

I really couldn't get worked up over this!

😂