9 year old served ‘birthday drinks’ at sleepover

[Calpi]

My daughter recently attended a birthday sleepover. The girls are 9 years old which I thought was slightly on the young side so I was a little hesitant but agreed.

I have just seen some pictures and I really am not happy. The girls were given ‘birthday drinks’. They were only squash and obviously no alcohol was used but they were served in actual plastic flutes. The drink was bright pink with fizzy sweets in the glass but I’m not happy.

The mum in question parents very differently. Her 9 year old gets bought VERY expensive skincare products. And her daughter acts like a
full on teen - we’re talking crop tops, Stanley cups, skincare, TikTok dances, eyeshadow etc. I have been in the girl’s bedroom and she has a dressing table completely covered in drunk elephant etc. The mum is into that overconsumption stuff she sees online. Fine, parent how you want but I want my daughter to have a childhood and to not be adultified.

AIBU in thinking this was massively inappropriate? Why couldn’t they have just made milkshakes or smoothies? Or an ice cream sundae?

Alcohol I’d have balked at for 9 year olds, 100% but it sounds as if she was just trying to dress up a soft drink in a special way to celebrate. Wouldn’t bother me.

OP, you are being ridiculous. It's just fun. Wait until they are 15, then you might have something to worry about.

I think teaching youngsters that non alcoholic drinks in pretty glasses with extras in them can be fun, celebratory drinks is no bad thing.

I think moralising about that being too grown up when you let your 9 year old have sips of alcohol is very skewed thinking tbh.

I’m sure they didn’t use anti aging products at a 9 year olds sleepover.

what do you think is going to happen

children play they use their imagination they pretend this is all it is and parents playing along

My dad used to make us very fancy looking non alcoholic cocktails when we were little, served in proper cocktail glasses with sugar on the rim and paper umbrellas and maraschino cherries...we thought we were the bees knees

Back in the 90s, at Christmas and parties, we'd give my little nieces Appletiser in flutes. They would be really happy and felt included in the celebrations. In fact, I'm sure my older siblings used to do the same for me in the 80s.

It's really not a new thing.

I was resigned to the fact that mine would be served all sorts of food and drink at parties. They would return wild and then crash.

To be honest, I'm more worked up about the fact that you give your 9 year old sips of wine. She's a bit young for that isn't she?

I get your concerns. My DD is also 9 and I’m not keen on too much adultifing either. However, I dont think some fizzy (raspberry?) pop served in flutes is too bad, it’s just a bit of fun. Kids that age like to be more grown up, it’s just a case of compromising what is too grown up.

It kind of sounds like you are not really a fan of this Mum?

Will the horrors never cease?!

Seriously though, if you’re upset about the squash in a fun glass (and it sounds like you’re more upset the girl got some different birthday presents than you give yours, but I’ll pick the one you’ve put in the title) I hope you never drink in front of your child. I see absolutely no difference in letting the girls have some squash out a plastic cocktail glass than drinking the stuff in front of them - it all “promotes” alcohol to children.

I think people are being a bit hard on you. I think with social media etc children are being encouraged to grow up too quickly. There is a difference between wine (which is an acquired taste that children dont like) and sweet sugary cocktails and alchopops which appeal to youngsters. I dont think glamorising drinking alcohol is a good thing, the same way I don't like vapes with 'cotton candy' etc tastes. However I remember when I was at school there was always that one girl who was 'cool' whose parents allowed them to do whatever they wanted, and always had the best most up to date stuff. You are over reacting about this, only because what do you want to do about it? She has done nothing wrong, and like it or not your daughter will have loved it! Anything you say or do will just have you looking like the bad guy. All you can do is continue parent the way you want to, you have the biggest influence over her, and accept she will have different influences as you cant police everything.

I remember making my 9 year old cousin a mocktail with a lemonade chaser when I was a teenager. She’s 22 now and absolutely fine 😂

Not only does the op drink in front of her child but she gives her sips of wine.

🤣

Which was 12 of course.

Might not mention my daughter drinking actual champagne out of an actual crystal champagne flute on her first birthday when we had taken our eyes off her for a nano-second.

She’s had a sip on special occasions since and at 14 isn’t a drug-addled alcoholic by any means. And I’m lucky if she puts a flannel near her face daily. She has zero interest in fancy skincare.

Squash in a plastic flute is nothing to get upset about.

I remember Shirley temples in a pineapple with a sparkler when I was young!

ETA not an alcoholic

So she can have actual wine from you but not a fizzy drink in a plastic cup?

Should have read the full thread, this is what happens when I assume things!!

OP get down off that high horse. Beyond hypocritical behaviour.

You sound utterly bonkers. If that helps??

Jesus unclench.

You say why weren’t they just served milkshakes. What’s the difference between squash and milkshakes? Both inoffensive.

Mate I'm a non drinking practicing Muslim and I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest just t put things into perspective...

Also what's Stanley's got to do with being to grown up.

The crop tops I get completely obviously ya know since I wear a burka

You let your 9 year old drink sips of wine, but you're horrified by soft drinks served in flutes?

I literally don't know what to say. You've got your concerns backwards.

You're giving your 9 year old "sips" of alcohol but have a problem with squash in a fancy glass? Are you on glue? This sounds more like jealousy that the child is spoilt with expensive things. I wouldn't dream of giving my kids alcohol at that age.