To say that adult friendships aren’t worth the effort?

[MellowSwan]

It feels like maintaining adult friendships takes too much work and stress, especially when we all have busy lives. AIBU to think friendships aren’t worth the effort once you hit a certain age?

But no one can use you without your permission. You choose to people-please, presumably because you get something out of it, though the people you appear to be of service to don’t seem to be people you like or respect.

It’s perfectly possible to have friends without lending them money or doing childcare! I’m 52, with good friendships, and I think I’ve lent a friend money once in my life. Similarly childcare. I think I helped one friend with her toddler for a few days in an emergency a long time ago. It’s not necessary to provide services to have friendships. Ask yourself why you keep doing so. if you’d be happier without these relationships, you’re choosing the wrong people. Friends add to your life.

Had crappy friendships but equally some good ones. I agree it can get draining if both sides dont make the efforts

As the saying goes, friends are the family you choose.
I love my friends dearly and we have all supported each other through so much.

I agree. I think my friends are much more valuable than my immediate family.

I think it's also important to remember that not all friendships are meant to last forever and that's okay and that there might be times when you're closer and times when you're not.