DH: don't ever, ever, ever ask me that again.

[Limemouse]

If my DH doesn't pick up when I phone will always ask him, 'why didn't you pick up,' when he answers the second time or when he phones me back.
I admit I will always ask him and will always reply with either I didn't hear or I was busy.

Last week I asked him the same question and he told me I was annoying him with such infantile questions and it was better I never phone him again if I was going to ask that question again

i think he is being unreasonable. It's a standard question to ask.

Stop asking him.

Well either he was busy, didn’t hear his phone or didn’t want to speak to you. Which do you prefer?

I would be massively pissed off if anyone asked me this… especially every missed call!!

Good for him! Bloody hell, I'm surprised he's bitten his tongue for so long!

I would ask that question sometimes, but only when I had agreed to make contact for an important child pick up or when I needed meeting at the train etc... at a time when husband should have been fully awaiting my call.

I never expect anyone I phone to answer unless available and at a time that suits their program.

Wow - take a hint. This is extremely irritating. He must have the patience of a saint

You are getting on his nerves op, and you know it. Is it actually intentional? And if so why?

You are being childish and needy. Neither is attractive. I'm not surprised your dh is pissed off.

You are infantalising him and it is ridiculous. He is a grown ass adult. He does not need to justify to you why he didn't answer. Assuming he is at work it is not always convenient.

You need to grow up.

That would absolutely do my head in. I don't recall ever questioning why my husband, or anyone else for that matter, has not answered the phone. I'd jump to the natural conclusion they were busy or didn't hear it.

You could do with being a little more self-aware. A question like that is indicative of control/ownership. He was absolutely right to call you out on it and you should stop as he has asked.

It would bother me if my partner kept asking me this. It sounds like you are accusing him of not prioritising you. It makes you sound insecure and obnoxious.

Exactly! mine knows my phone is permanently set to silent, I'm a teacher and I'm paranoid it'll ring in class! If she phones and gets no answer, she always moans, even if I phone her back within minutes.

What am I reading, you ask your dh why he didn't answer?! Because he's at work/busy/on the loo/can't be arsed. There. does that help?

Depends on the situation... if they had ASKED me to call them at a particular time, or if we had agreed an urgent need to speak in a specific timeframe and they didn't answer then I might say: "Thanks for calling me back - is everything ok?" Thinking of things like when a parent is in hospital or similar.

But if it was a not an arranged call then I wouldn't even think to ask as they were clearly busy or otherwise unable to answer. It would drive me mad if someone did the same to me. I had a brief relationship with someone who did this and while it wasn't the reason I called it off, it definitely didn't help. He also had a very irritating habit of texting me AND THEN CALLING STRAIGHT AFTER! Why for goodness sake? It was every time. Either call or text - don't do both! God it used to drive me up the wall... I'm annoyed now just thinking about it! 😡😂

OP you sound emotionally immature.

I wonder if the people who would ask why didn’t you answer. Call a lot about non urgent stuff.

Like me and dh will text all day long but if I call he knows it’s important where as a text can sit and wait we are just chatting. So if he didn’t answer he would be calling straight back.

However say when his sister calls him, she will call him to talk about her dinner or other such pointless stuff so he will watch it ring then maybe text her an hour or two later as he knows it’s not important. Sometimes she will then text me “get my brother to check his phone!” I just laugh and tell him she’s chasing him. He rolls his eyes and makes her wait even longer. I text her back saying I’ve let him know you are trying to reach him.

Bloody hell!! You sound incredibly needy.
I'd be ignoring every one of your phone calls from now!!!

Blimey, you wouldn't want to be on the other end of a phone if you kept asking me that.

Just stop it, you now know how much it irritates your DH, and a lot of other people as well.

How is it even a question…
He just didn’t get to the phone on time.
Obviously!

Leave the poor guy in peace!

He was driving, having a poo, out somewhere noisy, up a ladder, eating a mouthful, talking with his line manager, with a colleague, with a client, operating machinery ....

It's not compulsory to answer the phone.

YABU

I admit I will always ask him

Stop asking

It's ridiculous

People like the OP tend to be tone deaf and low key narcs.
Often start the ‘DH has just left me, it’s totally out of the blue, I’m so hurt and confused by this’ threads.

You'd be lucky if I answered the phone again.

Just assume he's doing something.

Sorry OP but that is really annoying. I had a friend, who I have distanced myself from, because she would start every single conversation with "Bob says x or y" or "Bob thinks a and b". Bob was her husband and apparently the all knowing, all seeing messiah. It was insufferable in the end.

Or, you could mind your own business?

So you just do it out of habit not becsuse ypu want to know or think he was busy shagging his secretary, he's told you he finds it extremely annoying to the point he never wants you to utter that sentence again, but instead of trying to stop doing it, you think he should continually keep answering with something that tells you nothing at all. If I was your DH, I would take piss and say ' I was shagging my lover/ I had a particularly hard poo/abseiling. It could be hours of entertainment for him.

I'd ignore your calls if you asked me that.

Presumably he didn't answer because he is busy? Because you are not the main character.

How intrusive of you.