To worry about taking the £1?

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For context:

• Currently living at home with DM and DF as we are are buying a house and waiting to move in.

• Almost 2yo DS was initially scared of the doorbell but I've been bringing him to answer the door with me and now he gets excited and says hi to all the delivery people etc.

This morning DS and DM answered the door. It was a man saying he'd noticed roof tiles missing and asked if he could do a free quote. DM declined as we already have a roofer in the family. The man was typically 'laddy' but pleasant enough.

I've heard of the scam where people go up on your roof, cause damage and then charge you to fix it, so it may have been that. I don't know. We live near a traveller site and it's not uncommon to get people from there coming asking if you need work doing. We always decline and that's the end of it.

When DS said bye-bye at the door, the man said bye back and then found £1 in his pocket and gave it to DM to buy him some sweets. DM thanked him and he left. DM later said she felt bad taking it but also felt she would have caused offence by insisting that she didn't want it. I watched the exchange and I'm inclined to agree. It would have felt awkward to insist and would have meant pushing the money away quite forcefully.

At the same time it feels weird to have taken £1 from a stranger who came to the door, and my overly-anxious mind is panicking that this could somehow be used as a reason to come back.

Please tell me I am being crazy? I do have a lot of anxiety issues at the moment so accept I could be making something out of nothing at all.

A Scottish work colleague would always give my (then) young son a pound when he saw him. Miss you Big Jim.

A random woman came up to me in the street one day when I was with my 6 month old baby and insisted on giving her a pound to buy some sweets. Absolutely barmy. I politely declined but those people are definitely out there.

I'm Irish (not a traveller) and it's always been a tradition in Ireland.

I used to think it was only an Irish tradition until my eldest DS was born 32 years ago, and the Asian man who owned our local grocery store leant into the pram and 'crossed his palm with silver' (a 50p coin), and told me to pop it in his money box.

It was quite touching and I've since found out that other nationalities including Brits do it too.

Where I live older people tend to give a silver coin (usually 50p) to the baby, they put it in their hand even if they're a newborn as it's supposed to bring them good luck. Some people also just give money to little ones for sweets like this man did, it's just tradition.

Oh yes - and if you give a knife/scissors as a present the recipient has to give you a small 'payment' of a coin otherwise the friendship is cut dead! (So my mother used to say😀)

As an earlier poster has noted, it’s very common in Scotland to give a small amount of money as a present to a young child. This is done even in very casual meetings. Think of it as like wishing a stranger “Merry Christmas” if you passed them on Christmas Day. It’s a sign of good manners and friendliness. There’s no obligation placed on the recipient and it would be considered quite rude to refuse the gift.

Call the police immediately!!!!

I’m older , it was a common practice up here 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 for older people to give a small child a silver coin 🪙 or put a silver coin in baby’s pram .
It’s a good luck / good health gesture .
i went up from where I lived to visit my parents and went out to walk oldest in her pram when she was about 3/4 months old .
My pram 😆 was full of coins 🪙 on a nice summers weekday ( west central Scotland)
So I wouldn’t be too concerned about this gesture☺️

Why did you decline? Sounds like you made that interaction needlessly miserable. She obviously didn’t mean to buy sweets - it’s just tradition.
I guess ‘those’ people are definitely out there!

What’s puzzling you?

Seperate yo the topic I love your figure of speech " making the interaction needlessly miserable".

More so to someone trying to do a good deed.

I put a £10 note in handbags or any clothes with pockets.

A stranger I met in a pub gave me £1 for same reason once. Got talking because I was stuck waiting for snow to melt. It's not weird, it's just a thing.

do not allow him to quote he’ll never leave you alone and become frightening

Yes this was very common years ago.

So rude. She obviously didn’t mean that you should shove a twix down your baby’s throat, it’s just a saying, like “penny for the guy” or anything else for kids.

You were the barmy one here, not her.

And I don’t care this thread is nearly a year old, it popped up again and it’s annoyed me that you’ve called her rude names for simply doing a nice, traditional thing of wishing your baby good luck for life.

@alexasetatimerFair enough. Maybe I’d be more relaxed about it now but I had a six month old at the time and a stranger stopped me in the street and was pretty overbearing in her insistence that I buy her some sweets. I wasn’t aware of any grand traditions and it irked me. I concede my post was harsh. Apologies.

Yes really. Many people put money in the pram when my two were babies.

I've done this upteen times, usually when I meet neighbours kids in the supermarket. It's to 'buy a sweetie's😄

Out of curiosity, where are you in the north? I grew up in the north east and it was very common when I was little and the same for my younger sister.