To worry about taking the £1?

[Movoun]

For context:

• Currently living at home with DM and DF as we are are buying a house and waiting to move in.

• Almost 2yo DS was initially scared of the doorbell but I've been bringing him to answer the door with me and now he gets excited and says hi to all the delivery people etc.

This morning DS and DM answered the door. It was a man saying he'd noticed roof tiles missing and asked if he could do a free quote. DM declined as we already have a roofer in the family. The man was typically 'laddy' but pleasant enough.

I've heard of the scam where people go up on your roof, cause damage and then charge you to fix it, so it may have been that. I don't know. We live near a traveller site and it's not uncommon to get people from there coming asking if you need work doing. We always decline and that's the end of it.

When DS said bye-bye at the door, the man said bye back and then found £1 in his pocket and gave it to DM to buy him some sweets. DM thanked him and he left. DM later said she felt bad taking it but also felt she would have caused offence by insisting that she didn't want it. I watched the exchange and I'm inclined to agree. It would have felt awkward to insist and would have meant pushing the money away quite forcefully.

At the same time it feels weird to have taken £1 from a stranger who came to the door, and my overly-anxious mind is panicking that this could somehow be used as a reason to come back.

Please tell me I am being crazy? I do have a lot of anxiety issues at the moment so accept I could be making something out of nothing at all.

Me too.

My son is a teen now but when he was a gorgeous baby, several older ladies in our (small, rural) town would stop to admire him and press a coin in my hand for good luck.

It's a lovely tradition.

Gawd. All the talk of giving little ones a coin brought me a childhood memory long forgotten. I was with my mum at the till, aged about 5, when this well dressed posh looking big lady asked if she could give me some money for sweeties. My mum said ok. I remember getting all excited as the woman fished about in her big purse, retrieved a coin, bent down and with a great big flourish she presented me with a.....two pence piece. I still said thank you as I stood there with a dumbstruck look on my little face. I'm quite old but I'm not so old that two pence would have been enough for even a small single sweet. If you're going to partake in this particular tradition, make sure the child isn't old enough to understand what a cheap fucker you are.

I’m in Yorkshire, 39 years old, strangers would sometimes give me and my sister money when we were kids. I’ve had it a couple of time with my toddler as well.

As a child I was often give a pound by strangers we came into contact with or people we didn’t know very well. I’ve also seen my dad do it once or twice over the last few years but certainly not at the frequency of my childhood.
Definitely not sinister and it’s a little depressing that we live in a society where you were worried it could be!

I’m feeling very hard done by. I live in Scotland and have never experienced this!

One time we were on the train with the baby and he ended up with double figures money from people passing by and giving a coin to the baby. It was a long journey 3.5 hours but still. It’s pretty common and a bit of a tradition.

Yes! DD1 got given a pound by a lovely old lady recently, and she's 5! She'd hurt her hand and was upset in the shop, and at the end the lady gave her £1 and said to buy some sweeties to cheer herself up. DD1 was delighted! Not uncommon round here when you have a new baby out and about too.

My husbands Irish relatives always used to do this when the kids were little - slipping money in their pockets. It did make me feel a bit uncomfortable to begin with

I have to admit I've done it once last summer . A little boy we didnt know was talking to us as he and his mum toddled past. Because we were talking and he laughed and waved at us he lost his balance and fell over and burst into soul breaking tears. I felt so sorry for him that I gave his mum a pound for him to get some sweeties to cheer him up.

When my DS was born we took him on the train to get registered. Sat right by us was a man who I can honestly say looked like a real gangster. He wore the sharpest most expensive type suit, expensive shoes, expensive hair cut. Very 'gangster looking face' with a big scar down his face and a shaved bit on his eyebrow. He just looked super intimidating. When his stop came, he paused next to us, popped a £2 coin on the top of the buggy and said 'it's good luck to give money to babies' smiled and got off the train. I was so surprised I only just about managed a thankyou. This happened regularly after that. I'd think nothing more of it :)

I'm from the" proper north " lol near the Scottish border. And when I was younger it was half a crown or two bob .....don't see it happening now though

Yup. My Mum & Dad would still do it now. Central Scotland, and they're in their mid-70s.

Oh, and it's supposed to be silver. From what was the norm in our family, anyway!

I had that happen but it was only travellers that did it.

You’re being weird! He was just being nice! My mind goes into overdrive too, sometimes I just need telling I’m being weird!

This ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

Very common up north, all the babies got given silver when we first met them, obviously the parents would remove it pretty quick!

Was he Irish? When I was a child, old men aways used to give us kids money...it sounds bad written down, but it was just a nice friendly thing, for luck

If it was a traveller, then it is not a surprise. They adore children, and a coin is a little bit of a tradition to give.

It’s common in the north east to give babies coins. Silver particularly is good luck. Don’t think anything of it.

Echoing lots of PP that it's traditional when you meet a baby for the first time to give a small amount of money. Generally only done among the older generation.

Does anyone do the thing of putting a coin in a purse /bag if you are giving someone a purse/bag for a present?

Or a coin in the champagne cork of a celebratory drink? Weve got the cork with a coin in from our engagement champagne 🙂

Gosh this used to happen all the time, I'm old so it was 2 shilling coins or half a crown back in the day. It even happened to my kids and they're 39 and 42 now!

@Movoun can I nonjudgmentally suggest that you ask yourself why you would think that you’d be obligated to this person for giving your son a coin? I see this time and again that people (especially on mumsnet) find themselves in a situation that act against their own well being out of some perceived obligation.

Even if this was his scam. There’s no reason for you to be obligated into doing something you don’t want. it would be perfectly ok to say “Yeah no… appreciate the gesture to my son but I’m good with my roofer”

All that being said I aapplaud your cynicism 🤣 That’s a great first step!

Yes! Always silver. 50p was the best!

I'd forgotten that about bags but yes my aunties used to do that if one of them bought a new handbag, they weren't allowed to use it until someone had put a coin in it! Another good luck/you'll always have money superstition.