To worry about taking the £1?

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For context:

• Currently living at home with DM and DF as we are are buying a house and waiting to move in.

• Almost 2yo DS was initially scared of the doorbell but I've been bringing him to answer the door with me and now he gets excited and says hi to all the delivery people etc.

This morning DS and DM answered the door. It was a man saying he'd noticed roof tiles missing and asked if he could do a free quote. DM declined as we already have a roofer in the family. The man was typically 'laddy' but pleasant enough.

I've heard of the scam where people go up on your roof, cause damage and then charge you to fix it, so it may have been that. I don't know. We live near a traveller site and it's not uncommon to get people from there coming asking if you need work doing. We always decline and that's the end of it.

When DS said bye-bye at the door, the man said bye back and then found £1 in his pocket and gave it to DM to buy him some sweets. DM thanked him and he left. DM later said she felt bad taking it but also felt she would have caused offence by insisting that she didn't want it. I watched the exchange and I'm inclined to agree. It would have felt awkward to insist and would have meant pushing the money away quite forcefully.

At the same time it feels weird to have taken £1 from a stranger who came to the door, and my overly-anxious mind is panicking that this could somehow be used as a reason to come back.

Please tell me I am being crazy? I do have a lot of anxiety issues at the moment so accept I could be making something out of nothing at all.

Gypsy's do the same,it was something I was raised with,we wouldn't take offence but I promise for us it wasn't anything dodgy it was just seen as passing on good Luck and fortune to a baby(it was usually baby's in our case)by crossing their palm with silver.

It was done for all of the baby's in our families but we'd also do the same for friends baby's and the baby's of people we didn't know if we'd been speaking to the parents but we'd always check with the parent before handing the silver over and obviously as soon as it had touched the baby's palm we'd hand to the parents.

Small kindnesses leave lovely memories.

I would like £1

I must admit it's beyond my imaginative capacity to arrive at a means by which giving a child a pound coin could be part of a scam. If anyone more creative than me can spot the trickery here, I'd be interested in their theories. If he gets someone knocking his door in 20 years time demanding repayment of a loan plus interest at 3877980% APR, then I'll acknowledge I'm naive.

My son made £12 once when we walked along the sea front from Leigh on Sea to Southend and back one summers day' lots of elderly people patting him on the end and giving him a pound.

It was great for him as his sister was in a pram and he was getting the attention instead of her!

It was certainly a tradition here in Scotland. Women out with their new babies in the pram, everyone stopped to looked in and gave money, even old ladies with very little to give. No-one ever thought of it being ‘manky old coins!’ Cashless hadn’t been thought of then.

I live in Hartlepool and gave my neighbor's brand new baby 50p this morning (well I tucked it at the foot for the pram).

Christening coins also used to be a thing - for good luck and to give the baby/family a bit of a nest egg.

In the last month my 4 year old has had £6.50 off strangers on the bus, £1 for chatting, £1 for moving when asked for an older person and the rest just because people wanted to, it’s quite normal xc

I'm in Scotland and I feel like my kids get money handed to them everywhere we go. People paying in shops tend to hand kids any wee bits of change they have I think it's normal here.
I was in Lidl a few weeks ago and was telling them they couldn't get something and a man gave them ten pounds to share (between 3) it was very awkward but really kind of him and he wouldn't take it back.

It happened to me when DD was tiny. She had absolutely loads of hair and people were fascinated, and wanted to press a coin into her dear little hand.

I thought it was absolutely lovely, and have no doubt that it’s a very old custom, especially in some communities.

Hands can be cleaned, for the germ phobic out there..

A hansel? 😕

I worked in an elderly care home and if I ever popped into work with my children in tow several residents would be inclined to give them a coin such as 50p for sweets. Was a little awkward because as staff we weren't meant to accept money from the residents, however all these people were perfectly aware of what they were doing and the rule as they would give a mischievous wink!

Yep

My Nan used to do it, as had her Mum.
Old Custom in some areas (in their case, South East London)

Awww
Is hansel hand ?

I am not mocking as a large proportion of ancestors were Scottish
In fact, though I am not sure, it might have been my Scottish gt gt grandmother who started this in their family.
My post above explains what I mean :)

Don't let anyone up on to your roof on spec because they claimed to notice 'missing roof tiles'. It's a pretty common scam. They might not damage the roof but they will charge you for work that didn't need doing.

The £1 thing is neither here nor there. He wouldn't have given your kid a pound if he didn't want to or couldn't afford it and it doesn't come with any sense of obligation. There are communities where it's quite normal to give small child coins for luck. I come from a working class London background and whenever I was taken to any sort of gathering hosted by extended family as a kid, there would always be random friends/neighbours etc there, people I'd never met, who would press a coin into my hand and say either 'get yourself some sweeties' or 'that's for your piggy-bank'. Also my brother-in-law is from the west of Scotland and if anyone he knows has a new baby, he insists on putting money into its pram 'for luck' the first time he meets it.

Maybe a ring doorbell would help so you can see who is at the door first? Also if a cold caller isn’t going away just close the door and lock it?

We do this in our community; giving a young child/baby a coin for good luck and fortune. It came from a good place, accept it with good grace in the intention it was given in.

I am in my sixties and it was very common in my Yorkshire community to put a silver coin in the pram of a new baby, or to put it into their hand and quickly remove it to pass to the parent. Crossing the palm with silver for good luck and prosperity. Most small children, especially at family gatherings would be given a coin. It happened when my son was a child and I still do it now.

It was common where I grew up. I used a coach built pram for my DD (uber tiny and needed all the extra shelter it gave her) Every time I took her out someone would ask if they could give the baby some silver (coins) to bless her. Here it was a way of wishing her well and hoping she would always have some money for her needs. Shame she has no head for money now though…..

@TheGreatMuldeeni

I didn't spend much time in the North in the 90's, but when I was there I don't recall anyone doing it🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe it was slowing down differently in different parts of the north?!

frankly I'm not surprised some people are offended, people are so weirdly & quickly offended these days, but maybe they think they look 'poor' or something, if they don't know the tradition??

That is so sweet!! I'm sure it's harmless and I can't imagine what scam it could lead to.

(Though I can totally magine myself worrying about something like this as well because I'm a serious over thinker.)

you live near a Traveller site… why is that relevant.

I assumed everyone would tell me it's 100% a scam. And while I think it's likely it was, I wanted to explain that we live near a traveller site so people often come around looking for work and so it may have been legitimate.

I thought this was a common thing with travellers. I assumed because they move a lot they are more likely to pick up short term jobs and would explain why they're cold calling for work. I apologise if I've got this wrong.

When my daughter was about 2, I had to bring my daughter along to do my Avon deliveries. Often my customers would give a couple of quid to her (about 25 years ago). I was uncomfortable with it because I didn't want her to expect cash/gifts from people xxx

I'm in Scotland and it happens here too. Didn't realise at first but yes, lots of coins in the pram under blanket and other random occasions