To tie my child to the table

[grrihateteatime]

I mean obviously I won’t but it’s so frustrating. Charging around between mouthfuls and running back and forth for toys.

I know - I probably should say ‘right, you’ve finished then’ the first time he does it but he’d literally live off fresh air then which then affects sleep and behaviour …

grr

It’s not. You have no idea what you are talking about. Some things are worth trying. OP has not said her child is ND. It’s worth trying, I assume she came here for things to try, and not being told to just give up.

But, if nothing works then just try eating by the tv. Walking around and eating. Nothing to messy.

Can you put the table in the corner and then sit by him so that he's boxed in?

Honestly I wouldn't worry too much, he is small and will get there in his own time. He will probably manage it fine in a school setting when he's bigger, if he doesn't then there will be something else at play.

My daughter also struggled at home with this (though not in school). She is easily bored but it's much better now she is older (6). However if she keeps getting down from the table I will keep the food rather than throw it away, when she is inevitably hungry 45 mins later I offer her back her lunch to eat at the table.

Is the behaviour bothering you because you're worried about him learning social conventions (he will), you're worried about what he eats/throwing food away or do you just find it a bit annoying?

I’m not too worried to be honest. I do find it frustrating and if he wouldn’t sit in restaurants or cafes or at nursery I would worry, as it is I think it’s just the time of day and home / safe space.

I recall, when my child was seven or so, I used to make a sandwich and leave it in the bread bin, right next to the kitchen door. Child would pop in, take a bite of said sandwich, and rush out again.

Children, seem to me, to have much more interesting things to do, rather than eat. Seems right to me 😁.

I'm not saying the OP's child is ND. But your suggestion was to do this to a ND child. It is bad advice. I'm not being critical for the sake of it, as a ND person with ND DC I'm well aware most nurseries/schools know very little about neurodiversity, it's just frustrating when you see advice that to you is so obviously wrong.

So what is your question then? You are not worried, he is fine at nursery, no worries?!

To be honest I think it was bad advice anyway. It wasn’t that there was anything wrong with the suggestions in themselves, it was the apparent lack of knowledge after quarter of a century that most children behave better at nursery than at home I was a bit at.

That's good. I'm going to go against the grain and say take a path of least resistance here, he will outgrow it and it's not going to be worth your energy to "correct" something that will come with time.

Also for a bit of fun sometimes I do my kids an indoor picnic for some novelty... If there's no table you might feel less stressed by it 😂

It’s not wrong actually. I was responding to OP, not you personally. And even with ND, those are good things to try at home. If you want. If not, like I said, just eat in front of the telly. My son only ate Kellogg’s K for about a year. He did not eat at nursery or school unfortunately. He is not ND. I am so happy we have all these new things to try, and to provide tools to parents that can work.

Like I said, of course most children do. It would be odd otherwise.

It was you that started a thread OP, if you do not want practical advice stop wasting other people’s time. Just say you find parenting hard and just want a handhold.

There is no need to tie your child to the table. But it seems you don’t need practical advice anyway. Good luck.

Lots of judgement here from people who have never experienced this.

Going through this with my son OP. He is totally hyper, and for a long time people kept brushing me off with "Oh thats totally normal for boys/his age/ he position of the moon this time of year". If we put him in a highchair and strap him in he screams and throws himself around. "Just tell him off/you are the parent" BS doesn't help or work.

Hate suggesting this nowadays as you get jumped on for "jumping on the bandwagon", but my son is being assessed for ADHD and Autism (there are other things he does that are indicators).

It isn’t an objection to practical advice. Have you noticed yours is the only post I’ve pulled up? Why might that be? Could it be that it was pompous, officious and above all, nonsense?

I think you don't understand my point. I am glad you are happy but just don't give advice out of your scope of practice.

Good luck op. And if it doesn’t work then google drawing talk and the rest. Might help your child. Nonsense or not.

Could you try 5/10 mins of vigorous movement immediately before a meal, like Go Noodle (can be found on YouTube) or songs with dances like shake your sillies out? Might help to regulate him enough to focus on dinner? My eldest was not bothered about food either so it did not help to motivate. He eats loads now at 13 🤣

So MN won't like this but I had the same problem, our evening meal was taking 90 minutes. And I had one premature child who was constantly underweight at that age so it was important I got them to eat. Like yours they didn't care about food unless it was junk of course! So my solution was to have the Tv on. It at least focussed their attention a bit to stay sat down. It didn't make it any quicker but I was getting less annoyed which I think definitely made it better as I was sure they could feel my tension and annoyance. As it got better I started reducing the amount of time the TV was on (so putting it on part way through the meal). To make myself feel a little better about my solution I did make sure it was something mildly educational. But to be honest at the toddler stage I'm all for 'whatever gets you through the day'.

If it was my child, i would set a 10 minute timer. He has to stay at the table for that amount of time. Serve him a small portion. Bring him back every time he leaves the table. After the 10 minutes his food goes away and he can play.

Maybe 5 minutes to start with and build up to 10. Small reward if he doesn't leave the table before the timer. 5 minutes = 5 smarties maybe?

It will take time but if you're consistent it will improve. Don't make it about the amount of food he eats, it sounds like he fills up earlier in the day. No point in a stressful dinner time, it will make you both miserable.

Do you have time/ could you try doing a heavy work / gross it or function activity or head to playground first then transition into a more relaxing activity Lego/duplo/ magna tiles / sorting bits first? Then visual timer?
Also you can do things where you strap reisistence bands round the legs of chairs so you / they can swing their feet and enjoy the pressure / sensory input, whilst staying seated

I do normally have the Tonie box on and that helps but today was an exceptionally exhausting hyper one.

Surely the table would just fall over or the stuff on it end up on the floor.

I think we must be picturing very different tables - our dining room one is a big heavy oak one!

Think I’ll tie my 3 yr old to the bed. Three hours now trying to get him to sleep. He is tired he hasn’t napped. 3 year olds are just pains! I hope yours goes to bed as mine does eat at the table although he can do a lot of messing and annoying brothers too!

Can you pus the table against the wall have him sit next to the wall and you sit next to him so at the first sign of trying to escape you can stop him? My best friend did this as well as putting a timer for 30 mins. At the end of 30 mins he could get down. If he ate or didn't but no other meal was served by the 3rd day he behaved and ate.