Is this revenge on the OW fair or not?

[pinkgown]

Obviously we don't have the whole story, but would you be tempted to do this, to take revenge on the OW on your mother's behalf? I think I might, if I felt my mother and my family had been torn apart by her actions.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj9j9lpgjxlo

Or perhaps that’s an argument for your friend’s ex to have had a harsher sentence, rather than this woman getting a lighter one.

This was a prolonged campaign of harassment that targeted not just the OW, but her husband and child as well.

Whilst I generally agree with you, in this instance I think a prison sentence is deserved, and I think there should be significant prohibitions in terms of access to the internet, and a requirement to inform future partners of her offending, plus a lifetime restraining order.

How her sister and mother got off I have no idea.

Obviously I think men who post nudes online should face lengthy prison sentences too.

I don't disagree that this was an ongoing and awful campaign. I am not saying she has any leg to stand on. What I am saying is that the police regularly fail to even investigate when men do exactly this sort of ongoing appalling harassment to ex partners.

Do you feel the same when men share revenge porn? I presume you think 3 years would be too long for men as well

Correct, I do.

Prisons are full. Judges need to use a bit of common sense.

I've definitely felt vengeful and said some nasty things under extreme emotional distress due to cheating, but these actions are illegal as she has found out.

I'd have more sympathy if actions were in the 'heat of the moment', because affairs cause real extreme trauma. The fact this has gone on for so many years is very concerning - But... I do wonder about the mental health impact of being subject to trauma through her teenage years and whether she was offered any support during that time. The fact her mum showed her nude pictures of OW when she was a teenager is pretty concerning.

I'm very strong in the opinion that cheating is emotional abuse. Especially sustained and repeated cheating. To do this to your daughters mother for sure has an impact on a teenager.

Unfortunately there is no recourse for someone who has been cheated on (and those hurt by it), so people seek their own revenge.

Stephen Bear got 21 month prison sentence for sharing revenge porn videos of his ex, he served half his sentence.
Women are held to much higher standards in the justice system and are sentenced disproportionately longer than men. Presumably they think women are more of a threat to the public? More like these sentences are punishment for women falling from grace. Sexiest sentencing.

Never. It’s a disgusting thing to do. But the mother should never have involved her children in her marital issues, let alone encourage her daughter to do this.

What revenge would you deal
out to the father (the cheater in this situation) for tearing the family apart?
What revenge would you deal out to an OM if it was the mother who’d had the affair?

Jesus, it’s ALWAYS the woman’s fault isn’t it? Always the woman who needs to be taught a lesson

Wow, talk about minimising sexual offences

Agreed, this sentence is totally disproportionate. To those saying 'mens sentencing should be higher, rather than hers being lower' - that is simply not practical in our failing system. Precedence should not be based on gender

Not always worse to the person involved - I would far prefer an ex shared a nude photo of me than my current partner cheat on me.

But I wouldn't. I have no wish for nude photos of me to be on any social media. Particularly if the photos were attached to a website that inferred that I was a prostitute. And if my partner then received phone calls asking about the services provided.

I didn't say 'you' would. My current partner and relationship are both wonderful and I therefore value that above most other things in my life.

My ex can do what the hell he likes with my nudes and I'll happily get on with my lovely life.

How is it minimising sharing nudes on social media? I repeat it was wrong but a custodial sentence is crazy when judges let paedos off with fines and rehab.

Where is the consistency? I wonder if some judges need to go on refresher courses.

It’s not a race to th4 bottom. If you feel the sentencing guidelines need harmomsing that’s different, but it’s not he did worse and got x so she should get y, each case is unique and the judge has a corridor to play in.

If he shared nude photos and personal phone numbers, you may no longer be able to happily get on with your lovely life though. Things that life have ruined victims lives countless times.

I mean it's quite complex in terms of a revenge porn case and in terms of the whole picture rather just than the legality. She shared indecent photos without permission. That's pretty much that. However, I'm absolutely no legal expert but I wouldn't imagine there would often be family involved in this way, or the matter of the defendant being exposed to those same indecent photos as a child/ young teenager in whatever sequence of events that occurred.

What gets me is the lack of consistency. Steven Bear for instance. From what I recall of the case the videos were taken in secret and shared. To me the element of deception and filming someone having sex without their knowledge makes that worthy of a harsher sentence than it received

I think this affair was a secret for many years and recently came to light via these photos . I do t think the mother would have waited 12 years to kick off .

Was it a CCTV without his partner's knowledge

So you would be OK with him doing the things I described previously? You would like it or ignore it if your lovely partner started to get phone calls asking what sexual services you provided? You would just ignore maybe hundreds of phone calls? Because that is what happened in this case.

Justice sec currently making a statement on the prisons crisis. It is no wonder there is a crisis when those tweeting offensive comments or posting nudes without consent get locked up.

Let's hope tags and fines are indeed more widely used and prison used for serious crimes and violent offenders.

No i wouldnt bother. Peoples trouble is they cant move on, they cant control their anger and its never worth it. Move on and enjoy your life. How can you have mental peace when your trying to get revenge.

Oh fgs. A parent having an affair in and of itself is NOT trauma and to suggest it is and has lifelong effects is genuinely insulting to those who have experienced genuine trauma. Again, I speak as the child of a parent who had one.

And, even it it were, nobody's trauma gives them an excuse to publicly humiliate and expose someone else, nor to threaten their relatives. The woman received a sentence commensurate with her criminal actions. End of.

Not really. Just direct your anger at the person who actually cheated on you and don’t do anything illegal 🙄

He already ruined my life when he cheated on me multiple times.

No i wouldn't be ok with it, but if i had to choose between that or going through what he already put me through with my new partner, then yes, that would be my preference.

I also did not say I would ignore it. I would expect the police to do something about it. I probably wouldn't expect a 3 year prison sentence for those actions though.

The difference is... the police can potentially do something in because it's illegal. Cheating isn't illegal unfortunately, even though it intentionally causes as much distress and trauma as many other crimes