Is this revenge on the OW fair or not?

[pinkgown]

Obviously we don't have the whole story, but would you be tempted to do this, to take revenge on the OW on your mother's behalf? I think I might, if I felt my mother and my family had been torn apart by her actions.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj9j9lpgjxlo

There is not a person alive who hasn't or won't experience some form of trauma. Trauma informed understanding of behaviour is not about excusing behaviour but about understanding it. We all still have to take responsibility for our own behaviour. Including this grown woman. Her parents separated because one of her parents met someone else - a long time ago. This has happened to lots of people. They don't all become sex offenders. Revenge porn is a sexual offence.

I disagree. This sentence was just. The girl not only posted nudes, she publicly advertised her naked as a prostitute, and then added her personal phone number for clients.

she showed no remorse at the trial, and even took the step of holding to a not guilty plea just to make the woman testify so she was further humiliated, then changed it,

its warped phsycological abuse and cruelty. 3 years was right.

Community hours, a fine.

Have you seen the news recently, they are releasing prisoners early as the prisons are overfull. What does locking up this woman achieve when groomers and paedophiles are often given non custodial sentences.

@KnittyNell
I think someone who has been cheated on should hold the person who actually made vows to them accountable. From the OWs perspective, it's never moral to start a relationship with someone who is committed to another person, but she didn't MAKE him do it. If it hadn't been her it would likely be someone else. He's the one responsible. She can be held accountable by her own partner if she has one.

Often on MNet and in real life, there's more vitriol for the OW than there is for the man.

She did more than that not sure why some are choosing to ignore it..

In August 2022, Brown posted derogatory and abusive messages about the woman on an online profile promoting the victim's husband's business.
When this did not provoke the "reaction she wanted", she then set up a profile of the woman on an escort site alongside her husband's phone number, the court heard.
The hearing was told the victim's husband was bombarded with eight phone calls and 13 texts within half an hour of the advert being posted.

She also sent abusive messages to the woman’s daughter.

She could have stopped at the first instance and chose not to because she didn’t get the reactions she felt was owed to her.

She posted nude photos without consent onto an escort site opening the woman up to possible stalking, SA, and worse. Such things do happen where men have gone after women on such sites. If she can do that to a woman over something that happened years ago, she likely has no issue doing it to someone else unless she is punished for it.

For sharing nudes of other people? Community hours? A fine? Would you be satisfied with that were you the victim? I know I wouldn't.
And paedos should be locked up even longer. Neither should be getting off easy.

Exactly.

Poor men, getting stolen from their wives and dragged into bed by the other woman. #JusticeForHusbands

I know a woman, who found out her dad was having an affair cheating on her mum, and tracked the OW down, attacked her in the street and busted her nose. Don’t think she attacked her own dad though 🤷🏼‍♀️

For sharing nudes of other people? Community hours? A fine? Would you be satisfied with that were you the victim

And the victim isn’t just the OW in this case, it’s her husband and family as well.

Sure, but that clearly isn’t what is being considered here regarding ‘root causes’, they’re being invoked as a way to justify the actions taken, and to lessen the responsibility of the person actually convicted (and her cheerleaders) in favor of placing it on the man and the OW. Why does looking for the ‘root cause’ stop at the affair? What was the roots cause of the affair? What was the family dynamic? What shaped the personalities of the individuals within that family? How far back do we go down the line?

It really isn’t that complex as a case. Three dumb fucks conspired to break the law by embarking on a campaign of harassment and one of them got convicted. There’s no question of diminished responsibility here, or an inability to comprehend right from wrong.

It seems almost all of them were police officers at some point, not just the sister (the mother, the father, and the OW).

I will say that I do have some sympathy for EB - very young, very immature, and from the little that has been reported, dragged into the sordid mess of her father's affair by adults who should have known better. Some adults actively bring their children into situations like this and expect them to take sides/protect them, which includes nurturing and encouraging a hatred of the OW. Add to that smartphones, social media, and the fact that taking pornographic images of yourself and sharing them has become normalised, and this is the mess you get.
It's notable that the mother and sister got EB to do the dirty work and have left her paying the price for it. They must have known she was crossing the line.

She wanted to hurt the OW and she succeeded. Yes the sentence does seem long, especially given that it seems that sharing indecent images of children gets you nothing more than a smack on the wrist, but putting all emotion aside, it was revenge porn and harrassment.

A pp posted this link. The same judge said about a man who thought he was sexting a 13 yr old 'Judge Menary said that the best way to protect the public from someone like Walker, who had yet to accept that he had a sexual interest in children, was through rehabilitation work with the probation service. "You are a man who was of previous good character until this time," said Judge Menary.
If a short prison sentence were imposed, there would be insufficient time in custody to complete any rehabilitation.'

The same judge giving a paedophile rehab and a slap on the wrist yet this woman <also of previous good character> 2yrs plus.

It does not make sense. I know who I think the biggest risk is..

Sentence like this is wholly deserved for anyone publishing revenge porn. Her excuse was pathetic - unresolved trauma from her father having an affair 22 years ago? Come on, this was malice, pure and simple. Same as any man doing it to his ex.

As for those saying sentence is excessive in comparison for rape/sex offences, yes it is much higher but that is indicative of those sentences being unduly lenient not this one being excessive.

I do think an example has to be made on this sort of crime - it's just too easy for people to do it, even in a moment of temporary madness or upset. This woman also made a special effort to make it as humiliating as possible - she didn't just publish them but set up a communications directing callers to the OW's poor husband. I don't buy the suggestion she didn't know it was criminal to do this -I do think her sister may have thought she could help her avoid serious charges.

The dad who had the affair is a prick - clearly no censure for him - poor helpless guy passively seduced by home-wrecking man-eater??

The OW was as dumb as shit to give her lover intimate photos/allow him to take them. I simply do not understand people putting themselves in the position where they could be blackmailed or humiliated by this. At the end of the day even if you are in a rock solid relationship there is a risk with these pics, you don't know what may happen, things could go sour or they could be viewed accidentally. She still doesn't deserve this treatment, no-one does, definitely not her husband.

Also on revenge, the only person you really hurt is yourself and potentially innocent others as seen here. For me, I was determined not to live my life feeling bitter and consumed by exH and OW actions. The best revenge is to live your best life. Since I was cheated on, I have bought my own lovely house, have a lovely fiancé who treats me the way I want, I have been promoted twice, my daughter has exceled in school. I barley think about exH and OW. When I do it is to shake my head that I put up with a mediocre life for so long, and be thankful of the life I now have. That to me is the best act of revenge I can think of. Not sitting in a darkened room consumed with hate and bitterness. Or in prison, as this girl.

I was an OW and yes I think this girl deserves a prison sentence.

I don’t know the where’s and why’s behind the affair but in my case I was very much fed the whole “we’re not together anymore, haven’t had sex for years, just friends living together” line. He lovebombed me and led me to believe we were a couple, took me to meet his friends and to his house etc. He told me he’d broke the news to his wife that he’d met someone else and was moving out - even took me to look at flats with him.
Turned out eventually she knew nothing and thought they were very much together. When she found out he denied everything, made out I was a nutcase and threw me under the bus. I was heartbroken, and so horrified and upset for his wife.

Im not saying what I did was ok but what he did was far worse - these predatory men often treat cheating as a hobby and are very practiced at it. I doubt the wives ever get the full truth, they minimise everything and blameshift onto the OW. It’s textbook, I realise now.

And yes we sent intimate photos to one another - stupid of me but I don’t think I deserve to have a hate campaign against me or be slut-shamed. Having been on the other side I hate how OW’s are often spoken of on here because I know how often both the wife AND the OW are the victims of the mans lies and desire to have their cake.

Well I wouldn't be so careless as to send nudes to a marred man anyway <not victim blaming just answering your question) but if I did, and someone else intercepted them and posted elsewhere I'd put it down to experience and not do it again.

If the other person then continued to harass me I'd of course report if I felt my safety was at risk it but then yes if it went to court I'd be satisfied with a fine and community hours.

The word 'revenge' answers the question. Revenge is not 'reasonable'.

If she had shared nude photos of the women on pornhub with no identifying information - or printed them out and stuck them on a lamppost with no identifying information - she would rightly not have got a prison sentence.

The nude photo is just one part - she ran a persistent campaign of harassment and abuse against a woman, the woman's husband and the woman's daughter involving sharing their personal contact details with strangers who were then encouraged to harass them.

She refused to stop even when given first warning.
She plead not guilty in order to force a trial.

The punishment is rightly greater if you refuse to acknowledge you have done something wrong and continue to do so even after being explicitly warned.

I still don't think we should put non-violent offenders in prison for long periods though. I'd suggest one month to give her a bit of a scare and then three years of electronic tagging, forcing her to be at home from 7pm to 7am and either at a pre-agreed place of work during the day, with some of her earnings taken to pay a fine to the victims, or if not employed or in full time training, attending community service for working hours. Weekends/non working days spent tagged at home bar a couple of hours for errands.

Punishment through lack of liberty but also still working and paying taxes or contributing through community service. Much more likely not to reoffend and also much cheaper than prison.

You are victim blaming. That is exactly what you are doing.

You said would i be happy with a fine and I'm explaining why I would.

If you say so, but you are still victim blaming.

'I still don't think we should put non-violent offenders in prison for long periods though. I'd suggest one month to give her a bit of a scare and then three years of electronic tagging'

Totally agree. Absolutely disproportionate sentence imo.

I absolutely would not do this. I might have these kind of thoughts but never act on them. However I think it’s telling that male domestic abusers frequently do this sort of thing and worse and don’t ever face justice. But because she was female they prosecuted.

I think 3 years was far too harsh. My friend’s ex husband shared videos of her and was never jailed so I don’t agree with 3 years in this case.

You’ll be pleased to know then that the victim can take civil action against them, so it’s very likely that they’ll end up having to pay out to her too.

RTFT (or the article posted)

She didn’t “just” post naked pics - she waged an all out hate campaign and involved others, and carried on after receiving a warning then denied wrongdoing/plead not guilty when in court meaning her victim had to give evidence.

She’s a fucking loon and deserves her sentence.