He hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend...

[doctorlife]

Hello! I am need of some advice.

I started dating someone just over 4 months ago. We were dating 'exclusively' from the off; on our first date both of us noted that were weren't dating anyone else at the time. This was my first date since the end of my last relationship (I don't date easily, only if I know of someone / already have my eye on them, etc). I saw this guy at the gym and knew 'of' him and was extremely interested in him (still am!).

Forward just over 4 months since this date, we have seen each other weekly and spoken everyday. Since this time, lots of life events have happened (got a PhD, started a new job, etc) and it's been so lovely having him 'there' through it. I love spending time with him and actually feel like I may.... 'love' (ahhh) him.

We have recently booked a European trip to explore xmas markets (Mid December). He has met some friends, and I have met his sister. we share similar interests and appear to want the same things from life / each other / a relationship (i.e.. being a team etc).

Anyway... I am starting to feel a little twitchy and vulnerable as he hasn't asked me to be his GF yet. I have subtlety brought this up and h noted that he wants something 'long term' but isn't in a rush. He appears to be a genuine guy so I am inclined ot believe this and accept it, yet, at the same time, I cant help but feel anxious / vulnerable about it. AIBU to think this should be happening soon, or, is it one of those things where everyone is different and I need to respect that?

Not sure what to think and its been making me feel a little inseure.

Additional info: he has a large group of friends who are 'well known' etc., whereas most of my friends have moved away so I don't have a solid group of friends around (lots of individual people dotted about). Not sure how this is relevant but it feels like important to note as something I wonder whether we are on the same 'level' in this sense (which, again, worries me).

Is he waiting to meet my parents? Is he realising that I cant offer the same social opportunities as he can? :(

Thank you in advance.
27 year old singleton in deep with a 31 year old guy.

If a bloke asked me to be his girlfriend I think I’d be torn between bursting out laughing and running away! The only thing worse would be if he sent his friends to ask for him like in primary school 😂

OP, why don’t you ask him? Or just start a conversation about it.

That does not indicate famous.

Also:

Is he realising that I can't offer the same social opportunities as he can?

No, not necessarily, but an odd thing to drop into a post, otherwise.

The whole post is odd IMO.

I'm an 80s child and I would be feeling the same as the OP.

I was definitely asked to be a girlfriend in my last few relationships, after a few dates, sleeping together, feelings developing etc.

Well as someone who made a complete fool of herself a long time ago, dating a famous person in a similar way as the OP describes... Be cautious and have your wits about you.

So many odd posts on MN nowadays.

Maybe it’s regional then! I’m an 80s child and despite having a few long term relationships as an adult, and an (ongoing) marriage, I haven’t been asked to be someone’s girlfriend since I was in about year 6!

Me too. Me and my now DH established we were boyfriend and girlfriend around the 3 month mark – we were both going off on 2 weeks holidays one after the other and wouldn't see each other for a month.

It mattered to me, and a group of weirdly bullying women on the internet would never make me feel stupid about it either.

This is wild. The world has changed a lot since then.

OP, you need to have the conversation.

So accept some people have different expectations in relationships?

Having different experiences doesn’t equal bullying.

I do 🤷🏻‍♀️. I was just musing on why some people expect certain things and some don’t. It’s a discussion forum!

'Well known' isn't the same as famous!!

They could be 'well known' to the police. 'Well known' for being a bunch of lads about town.

So like you are already his girlfriend.

I'm really confused. I didn't know someone had to ask you to be their girlfriend. Is that a thing?? Surely you just are his girlfriend?

This post has just made me realise that our neighbours have never asked us to be their neighbours.

I'm a bit worried now in case we aren't really neighbours after all and we will have to move.

The thing is, money is a bit tight at the moment and so it's the last thing we would want to do, especially as we paid for a new fence between us and the 'so called neighbours'. 😰

Can you find where I said that? No – because I didn't.

Calling OP 6yrs old and another 10yrs old, ridiculing 'instagram official' when OP didn't mention it, calling her a bored teenager from reddit, using laughing emojis, telling her to play kiss chase and catch him.

All designed to ridicule the way she feels. Nasty and bloody unnecessarily when a woman has come on here, in no offensive or rude way whatsoever, to talk about her feelings.

Ok, so show me where I said any of those things?

Also confused about his mates being well known. Are they famous? Or do they have a reputation locally?

Is there a reason why you feel the need to make fun of OP?

@Notamum12345577 you've quoted the whole OP.

There's literally no need to do this.

I didn't say you did, and you know I didn't. You quoted my reply to another poster.

I read the ‘well known’ thing about his friends as being an oddly expressed way of saying that they are all close, tight-knit, know each other very well. Compared to her more disparate friendships.