Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this an odd comment from the charity shop assistant

156 replies

LellyJelly · 20/10/2024 23:37

I was looking through some rail, one near the till and I was looking at some trousers for a while, just seeing what they were like. I could feel that she was watching me. All of a sudden the assistant said 'they're a size 20, I don't think they'd be any good for you.' Aibu to think this is odd to comment on? She doesn't know my size and I felt like she was a bit strange to decide what would be good or not for me.

OP posts:
Northoftheterritory · 20/10/2024 23:39

Well if you look like a size 6 then maybe she's just trying to be helpful

DelphiniumBlue · 20/10/2024 23:40

Maybe she could see they would be too big or too small for you? She could probably make a reasonable guess at your size of you were standing there in front of her.

Original poster
LellyJelly · 20/10/2024 23:40

Northoftheterritory · 20/10/2024 23:39

Well if you look like a size 6 then maybe she's just trying to be helpful

I most definitely don't!

OP posts:
Original poster
LellyJelly · 20/10/2024 23:41

They wouldn't be too small for me but I just felt a bit weird her making the comment

OP posts:
Starlightstarbright3 · 20/10/2024 23:42

I think what size you are is relevant here ?
I guess unless you are much bigger than a 20 then not offensive

WhatsInTheRug · 20/10/2024 23:43

Yes she should know her place and lose her personality,opinions and speech and act robotic!

There is always someone on mumsnet moaning about shop staff!

Pandasnacks · 20/10/2024 23:43

What size are you?

Original poster
LellyJelly · 20/10/2024 23:44

Starlightstarbright3 · 20/10/2024 23:42

I think what size you are is relevant here ?
I guess unless you are much bigger than a 20 then not offensive

I am between a 14-16 but have quite short legs

OP posts:
121Diet · 20/10/2024 23:45

YABU

SweetSakura · 20/10/2024 23:45

I imagine you look a lot slimmer than a size twenty and she was trying to stop you wasting your time?

I guess you could have been buying for someone else but that's quite unusual I imagine for adults to buy for another adult

Original poster
LellyJelly · 20/10/2024 23:45

WhatsInTheRug · 20/10/2024 23:43

Yes she should know her place and lose her personality,opinions and speech and act robotic!

There is always someone on mumsnet moaning about shop staff!

Not at all but I just didn't expect to have my size or what size clothing I was looking at commented on

OP posts:
Pandasnacks · 20/10/2024 23:46

So the trousers clearly wouldn't fit, what is the issue?

FactsNotFeelings · 20/10/2024 23:48

It's called small talk

xTheLoudLeaderx · 20/10/2024 23:50

You should have told the snooty bat to mind her own business. You could have been buying them for someone else or willing to alter them yourself, like with the leg length. I hope you put her in her place.

DojaPhat · 20/10/2024 23:50

I'm usually of the opinion people should have more grace for shop assistants - there's nothing worse than forced interaction with the general public. Having said that, I'm with you - even if she needed to say something, she could have said, 'oh that's a lovely pair of trousers from X who once did Y'. Generally I'd err on the side of not addressing people's size whether being helpful or not. If the OP had found the size 20 trousers to be too small or the size of a parachute then so be it.

WhatsInTheRug · 20/10/2024 23:50

xTheLoudLeaderx · 20/10/2024 23:50

You should have told the snooty bat to mind her own business. You could have been buying them for someone else or willing to alter them yourself, like with the leg length. I hope you put her in her place.

Which is where?

ShowerOfShites · 20/10/2024 23:55

What the actual feck is it lately with all the threads about charity shop workers apparently saying the wrong thing?

This is a YOU problem OP because what they said was more insignificant than a moth's fart.

Carnationstreet7 · 20/10/2024 23:57

Non issue, she was trying to assist you.

xTheLoudLeaderx · 20/10/2024 23:57

WhatsInTheRug · 20/10/2024 23:50

Which is where?

Show quote history

Concentrate on the what she’s selling… general retail duties. Usually making people feel welcome. I used to work in retail and never would ever tell a customer that something wouldn’t be any good for them and make them feel uncomfortable. In a charity shop too… sounds like she’s in the wrong job.

Please 😂

ShowerOfShites · 20/10/2024 23:58

xTheLoudLeaderx · 20/10/2024 23:50

You should have told the snooty bat to mind her own business. You could have been buying them for someone else or willing to alter them yourself, like with the leg length. I hope you put her in her place.

Yes she could have been buying them for someone else.

In which case normal human interaction would go along the lines of, "Oh thanks but they're not for me, I'm buying them for someone else".

Snooty bat my arse 🙄

Honestly, some moaners wont stop whining until there's no public human interaction at all, and we've all turned into robots.

And even then they'll be moaning that we've all turned into robots...

xTheLoudLeaderx · 21/10/2024 00:01

ShowerOfShites · 20/10/2024 23:58

Yes she could have been buying them for someone else.

In which case normal human interaction would go along the lines of, "Oh thanks but they're not for me, I'm buying them for someone else".

Snooty bat my arse 🙄

Honestly, some moaners wont stop whining until there's no public human interaction at all, and we've all turned into robots.

And even then they'll be moaning that we've all turned into robots...

Edited
Show quote history

I think the closed question from the snooty bat in the charity shop offended the OP.

Anyone with experience would ask to help, e.g ask what they was looking for… not straight in with “they’re no good for you”

CrispyCrumpets · 21/10/2024 00:01

I suppose you are always on dodgy ground commenting on someone's weight, she was probably only wanting to help and would know that you meant she was too slim for them.

Why were you looking at a pair of trousers that were too big for you? Were you struggling to find the size on the label? Maybe that's what she thought.

JustGettingStarted · 21/10/2024 00:04

ShowerOfShites · 20/10/2024 23:58

Yes she could have been buying them for someone else.

In which case normal human interaction would go along the lines of, "Oh thanks but they're not for me, I'm buying them for someone else".

Snooty bat my arse 🙄

Honestly, some moaners wont stop whining until there's no public human interaction at all, and we've all turned into robots.

And even then they'll be moaning that we've all turned into robots...

Edited
Show quote history

Robot? No! How about someone DISCREET and and able to provide a quiet service?

I have stopped going to a charity shop here because there's an American lady on the till who says "oooh that's lovely!" and remarks on how this jumper or that scarf goes with my eyes. I am not there to be complimented on my eyes or reassured that my tastes are to her standards. Loud, cheeky woman who thinks she's got to OPINE on everything with her nasal accent.

OP, send and email to management that your body size is NOT a topic of conversation.

saraclara · 21/10/2024 00:04

LellyJelly · 20/10/2024 23:44

I am between a 14-16 but have quite short legs

Show quote history

So she was right.

She was just making conversation in a harmless and trying to be helpful way.

This is not uncommon in my world, and I appreciate people attempting to make a connection with me. It wouldn't occur to me to overthink it.

CrispyCrumpets · 21/10/2024 00:05

xTheLoudLeaderx · 21/10/2024 00:01

I think the closed question from the snooty bat in the charity shop offended the OP.

Anyone with experience would ask to help, e.g ask what they was looking for… not straight in with “they’re no good for you”

Show quote history

She was most likely a volunteer though. A lot of charity shop workers I come across appear to have some mild disabilities too, so I'd not been offended if their customer service skills weren't the most polished.

A young man was trying to be helpful when I was buying something quite recently, he was way off the mark, but I could tell he was just trying to be helpful and have a chat. No harm done. It's just a bit of harmless human interaction.