To find this an odd comment from the charity shop assistant

[LellyJelly]

I was looking through some rail, one near the till and I was looking at some trousers for a while, just seeing what they were like. I could feel that she was watching me. All of a sudden the assistant said 'they're a size 20, I don't think they'd be any good for you.' Aibu to think this is odd to comment on? She doesn't know my size and I felt like she was a bit strange to decide what would be good or not for me.

People who work in charity shops are volunteers giving up their time for free and providing a service for the community.
they should not be judged on one comment out of context.

She just felt the need to communicate. The trousers were her chance. Shop assistants will be encouraged to talk to customers, as you might go elsewhere & find a surly teen scrolling their phone behind the counter. They don’t want that.

I would find it rude. Unless I ask for help or am obviously looking confused I don't want shop assistants to interfere with my browsing. A polite 'can I help you with anything?' is fine. Those won't fit you feels rude to me - but giving the benefit of the doubt perhaps she was thinking she didn't want you saying you didn't realise what size they were and returning. I wouldn't fret over it.

Tedious drama

“Loud, cheeky woman.” What a horrid post. I suggest you stick to staying safely indoors and shopping online so you never again run the risk of encountering a dreadful accent. Meanwhile, that god-forbid AMERICAN woman (how very dare she be American!) can carry on helpfully volunteering and doing something useful, unjudged by the terminally small-minded.

If she’s American that’s how she was brought up to believe good service is. She’s not insulting you and she can’t help her accent.

If you a completely different size to 20 maybe she was just letting you know you were looking at trousers that wouldn’t fit you?

People who sew often buy larger sizes and alter the garment and reuse the fabric so the OP might have been doing this.

I once inquired after a jacket in the window of a charity shop in Bakewell (posh charity shops) and was told 'Oh it's too small for you'. It was a size 8 and I'm a 12 so it was true but I was miffed and amused in equal measure. A bit rude but I wouldn't take it to heart or make a complaint.

She was being helpful, and I can’t see how you could take offence at her pointing out that you were slimmer than a size 20! I like a bit of chat while I’m shopping; some don’t. All you need to say is “Thanks, I hadn’t noticed the size” and move on.

This. It was an odd thing to say but be kind to charity shop assistants.

There are a lot of neuro diverse people working in charity shops, maybe just be a bit more chill. No harm done

'I don't think they'd be any good for you.'

This part wasn't necessary. No one should be told what they should be buying unless the shopper has specifically requested personal shopper or expert knowledge assistance.

To me that would feel like gatekeeping and I would probably leave the shop feeling unwelcome.

I often spend ages looking at clothes trying to visualize them. I remember doing this in new look recently. I would not expect a shop assistant there to come over and tell me something would be no good for me.

If the shop assistant wanted to strike up a conversation go with something positive, 'that's a lovely pair of trousers' and then the customer can respond and I bet the conversation about size would then naturally flow but in a way that felt driven by the customer and therefore more welcoming.

Or the shop assistant could wait until the customer has approached the till which is an acknowledgement by the customer that they are ready to interact. I wouldn't enjoy being interrupted while visualising/thinking. I would feel rushed and would probably just put everything back and leave.

So I agree with you OP that the comment was out of place

Edited to add: a lot of PP are commenting on whether the OP was right to be offended or not, I don't believe the OP felt offended, she just asked it if was an odd comment or not. Personally I'm not focusing on the dress size part of the conversation, more the not for you part.

What a world we live in when oddballs who cannot engage with others are told that they are not odd.
Instead, we hear about how the volunteer assistant probably has a little want, is mentally disabled.
What shite! So now, if anyone dares to speak to someone they must have a special need of some kind.

Bollocks-there is nothing wrong with the assistant. The OP has either has some sort of disability or she is an unmannerly oaf.

What a society these twerps are making so that we have reached the stage where posters try to excuse the assistant by saying that she must be mentally disabled.

Mentally disabled! For passing a perfectly acceptable remark about some trousers that the OP spent a long time looking at, She didn't shout, 'OI-your fat arse won't fit into those!'

Maybe she should, if only for the pleasure of seeing what the Op would do.

I take it you are young? It seems to me that way when I read posts like this. I am 44 and would be flattered if not a size 20 that she's thinking she knows I am not as big but she's just helping and if uiu are a size 20 well be flattered that she thinks uou r thinner. It's a passing comment being helpful. I do find you get mumsnet folk seem to find upset now alot

This.^ aka having common sense.

People who work in charity shops are usually volunteers giving up their time to support the charity. While many are extremely professional and skilled in their roles, they do not always have the experience or training you might get from a paid retail person (if you're lucky. Sometimes the service is poor from paid staff)

Strictly speaking the woman shouldn't have personalised her comment. All that was necessary to be helpful was to ask what size you were looking for. She made a minor error. However a reasonable person would off set that against the service she was providing and cut her some slack.

Exactly gone are tge days where folks said stuff and the other person didn't strip tye comment down to fund fault. I find nothing wrong with the comment at all it's not rude like I say earlier they should be bloody flattered. All the response is thanks for the help actually I am a size 20 so you have cheered me up. Or it's for someone i know or that you r right j am not as big

She's not very good at it then.

Exactly is it just me but mumsnet js full of this ?

She was just letting you know they weren't your size! I often look for my DD who is a size 12 - I'm a size 20/22. If someone pointed out the items were a size 12 I wouldn't be offended (though I'd think they must think I'm stupid) but I'd just say 'it's not for me'.

Oh god, I’ve heard it all now. I used to volunteer in a charity shop. The staff were all professionals who had held a vast array of quite good jobs in the past. It’s quite enlightening to realise that some people think we were a bunch of half wits who can’t control ourselves.
I hope this doesn’t put off anyone off volunteering, some MN users are absolute shits.
I have no idea why the staff member said about the trousers being a size 20 - I wouldn’t have said anything tbh but perhaps you were looking at them for so long she thought you were the confused one.

Why not? Why do you think you’re the arbiter of such matters?

I’m rather impressed the shop assistant memorised what the clothes sizes are for random items of clothing.

Oh my God seriously God forbid folks are friendly when people like you are about. It's your sort that's the issue nowadays fun sponges

God, that sounds irritating.

Retail workers should refrain from unsolicited comments IMO.