To find this an odd comment from the charity shop assistant

[LellyJelly]

I was looking through some rail, one near the till and I was looking at some trousers for a while, just seeing what they were like. I could feel that she was watching me. All of a sudden the assistant said 'they're a size 20, I don't think they'd be any good for you.' Aibu to think this is odd to comment on? She doesn't know my size and I felt like she was a bit strange to decide what would be good or not for me.

Because it’s derogatory!! Would you be ok, if someone called your mother, sister that.
If you’re over 12 years old, why would you need to, resort to name calling.

Lots of us aren't. But we try.

One of my local charity shops is for people with autism. I was informed by a young man behind the counter that something I was looking at was too small for me. I knew I could have squeezed into it, but I found his honesty hilarious.

I was just going to say this, most charity shop workers in charity shops round here are staffed by volunteers who do have seemingly SEN or LD to some degree and so shiny shop skills are not what they have all the time. Its not a problem.

I'd find that odd too, but wouldn't give it much thought.

Well quite, that’s the point, im criticising the poster who thinks it’s appropriate to be unpleasant about a volunteer in a charity shop.

i could have written a treatise on why dismissing the opinion of a “worker” is offensively classist, unnecessarily rude and condescendingly unpleasant but since this is a chat forum it’s easier to call out that someone is behaving like a cunt.

As for my sister, mother, daughter or anyone else, if they were in the habit of being such appalling snobs then I’d be telling them why their behaviour was unacceptable. If someone else called them a cunt because of it I’d be inclined to think they got what they deserved 🤷‍♀️

I think she needs a bit of training in diplomacy because that comment could easily be taken amiss! But she'll have meant the trousers would be too big, and she'll have meant it helpfully, I would guess.

Cant say anything to anyone these days without them being "offended"

It seems like a perfectly reasonable and helpful thing to say to me. Not hard to say actually I was wondering if they'd suit my mum, or whatever and have an actual pleasant moment passing the time of day with another human being.

My goodness, so she was right? Why are people so annoying these days, looking and digging and scratching for offence ??

She was trying to be helpful it was just perhaps poorly worded.

I reckon either the OP looked dodgy and the shop assistant was afraid she was going to shoplift., or was wondering why someone was spending ages looking at something that wasn't her size or was confused.
I can't believe some of the comments on here!

I avoid shops where you're the only person in there and they are watching everything you do like a hawk. I want to be able to browse without being given advice on every single thing I pick up.

Exactly i am 44 northern and think if this is all that bothered you get a bloody life. Christ almighty

YANBU I would find it odd too, and would put me off going there again. It is said that unsolicited advice is always criticism.

Not only that, people browsing are not always looking for an item for themselves, or even to use as clothing.
I went in a charity shop today, and my mum picked up a shirt for my dad.... clearly a men's shirt and would look like a tent on my mum.
I also have a friend who is about size 28/30, and she bought a size 8 skirt in a charity shop because she liked the fabric. She used it to cover a journal. She certainly would have not taken kindly to being told that it would not fit her.

or was wondering why someone was spending ages looking at something that wasn't her size
Clothes are quite often donated to charity shops precisely because they are mis-labelled. They might say a size 20 but are actually a different size. I sometimes ponder trying on stuff that isn't (allegedly) my size.
And sometimes I just like to examine something: I'll note that it's nice fabric or tailoring or whatever and make a mental note to look out for that brand.
Or, as PP said, I might buy something for an alternate reason - for the fabric, for the buttons, to take the zip out to mend another pair of trousers, etc.

The member of staff should not be commenting, unless you bring the item to the cash desk and they make some vague "that's nice" comment.

So? Then the browser can just as easily say, ‘I’m buying it for someone else’, or, ‘I like to repurpose fabric’. Somehow having to respond to a simple remark is being made out to be the biggest inconvenience, or even insult, possible.

Two points. Item of clothing may not have been for you.
I have a number of times ,bought items in a larger size because I liked the style or colour or material and altered them to fit.

Since when do customers have to explain themselves?

Since in a charity shop where non-professional people are working? Again, this is not Harrods.

I am a charity shop volunteer, chatting and making conversation is something most customers are happy with. I also know that a recent policy change means we will not refund unless the customer has the original receipt, hasn't removed the tags, hasn't damaged the item etc etc. So I would absolutely say something if I saw a customer picking up an item which was never going to fit them.

And 99 out of 100 normal customers would say "oh it's not for me" or "i'm going to upcycle the fabric" or whatvever, not get their knickers in a knot about odd comments.

What is wrong with the idea of people talking to each other?

I'd also disagree with the trope that all charity shop volunteers either have additional needs, can't get a "proper job", or have limited social skills. I have volunteered in two different shops, and yes in each there have been one or two volunteers with additional needs. But most people are not there because they are unable to work in a paid job, or to be rehabilitated.

Most volunteers I have come across are recently retired, stay at home mums, students, 16 or 17 year olds who are still at school, or people who just want to give a bit back.

I'm 44, northern AND I've worked in a charity shop and I agree with the OP that this was odd.

There's definitely better ways to communicate than making personal remarks - and by that I'm referring specifically to the 'no good for you' part, not the bit where she points out that they are a size 20.