Twin mix up...what to do?

[Twinlife2]

For context, my girls are 4 and started school in September. Their teacher has asked a few times how to tell them apart (never me, either my husband or their grandparents when picking them up). This question always makes me feel uncomfortable as if people can stand there and scrutinise their faces to pick out defining features and I worry that these conversations will lead to insecurities in the future.

They aren't identical but admittedly do look similar. To the point, my daughter had an accident form handed to her with her name on it but it wasn't her who had had the accident, it was my other daughter. (It was a lunchtime supervisor who had filled in the form).Fair enough, it does happen. But when my daughter tried to tell the teacher that it hadn't happened to her, the teacher was dismissive and insisted it belonged to the wrong daughter. (They will always tell people who they are and not want to be mixed up).

It's parents evening soon and I'm wondering whether I should bring this up. Am I overreacting for thinking she should have been listened to?

I'm totally new to navigating this at school and any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you!

Honestly this thread is bonkers! OP, you seem to complicating things unnecessarily. Whether your daughters look identical or not - they’re being mixed up. It might be fun for them in some circumstances, but seriously, no it’s not, they need to be differentiated. As others have said, go with either different coloured bobbles or hair band. Thats it. Job done.

In the meantime, yes bring it up at parents evening - the fact your daughter was not believed, and dismissed so easily is wrong. Personally, I would have contacted school immediately, as it is indeed a safeguarding issue.

as if people can stand there and scrutinise their faces to pick out defining features

Ummmm this is exactly how we tell people apart. Every human (pretty much!) has 2 eyes, a nose, a mouth... from a young age we learn to look at faces and pick out difference in this nose compared to that nose etc and tell people apart.

Mine did, in one of their exams. I only found out years later than one did both of the practicals, the other did both of the written. Can't remember what exam it was, I'll have to ask.
They also swapped in an English lesson at high school, their close friends realised but the teacher didn't.

Genuinely confused by this .. why does it matter if they’re franternal or not?? 😵‍💫😵‍💫

You seem to be repeatedly missing the point.

People - including parents of twins - are suggesting you create some kind of visual distinguishing feature such as one always wears a red hairband, one always wears a blue hairband.

Why do you not just do this? It would help your children and make life easier for the teachers.

Yes mention the form that was given incorrectly, but mention it politely as it is partly due to your choice not to help people tell them apart that the confusions are happening.

Edit - wrong thread.

DH is an identical twin and they are both right handed.

As advised by PP, help the situation by distinctive hair ties.

What is obvious to you as their mum is not always obvious to others.

@MissRoseDurward I believe that is mirror twins, I knew a pair of them and one was left handed, one was right handed. If I recall rightly, they have the crown in their hair in different sides but by the time I found that out I no longer saw them.

You’d have got much more sensible answers if you’d be clearer to begin with!
You mention twins being mixed up and everyone is going to assume that they’re identical!
Non-identical twins should not be being mixed up. It’s basically like giving the info to the wrong family about the wrong child.
And as I already said they should be listening to the children as to what their name is. They’ve been a bit lazy cos they knew it was going home to the same parent.
In this case you’re right to be cross and to take it up quite firmly with school.

I'm quite surprised at how many sets of twins seem to be in the same class/form.

I suppose I shouldn't really as when my DTs started primary school (@25 years ago) they were one of three sets in their year and were the only ones that were seperated. However, I'd have expected things to have changed over that period.

I know with single form entry it wouldn't be possible to separate but otherwise it's very good for them.

Surely, as a parent, I can be concerned about both?

It is one form entry and a tiny school to boot; there are 15 children in total in Reception. To balance the fact they're together all day long, we try to make sure we spend one-to-one with each of them. They enjoy having one us to themselves.

I find it odd to hear that you're a teacher and are on MN making a big deal of this.

Yes it's not great and needs flagging up to the teacher/school but surely a quick email to the school to point out the issue and your concern is all this needs, not a thread on MN?

What do you expect parents to do if you make a mistake in your teaching?

I'm literally just putting the feelers out to see how others would respond. I'm surprised at some of the responses on here when I've just posed a question that I feel is valid. I guess you're quite correct, this isn't the forum for this at all. Thank you for pointing that out to me.

Thank you very much for your advice. That's really useful.

I guess I just thought you would be more sympathetic and understanding that a teacher's day is pretty hectic and they do make mistakes sometimes.
It happens and especially with little children. Working with little ones and juggling lots of things at once can be a challenge.
Flag it up to the school but give the teacher a break unless it keeps on happening. 🤷

DDs infant school actually had two different colours for its uniform so that twins could wear different coloured dresses and sweatshirts.