To buy an Alexa when partner didn’t want one?

[Allinadayswork80]

This is a bit petty but there’s more behind it. Just had a huge row with DP basically because I bought an Alexa without consulting him. I’ve wanted an Alexa for ages, lots of friends have them, we have one at work, they seem pretty standard in many homes in my experience. I like listening to music when doing cooking/housework and also like the timer function plus the other benefits like shopping list, weather updates, etc. Mentioned this over a year ago to DP and he completely vetoed it because it “listens to our conversations and isn’t safe”. End of conversation.
Bit of backstory, we’ve been together for nearly 6yrs, our relationship moved quite fast and we moved in together quickly and had a DD (my 2nd). He came with a lot of stuff, like a LOT of stuff! He’s a builder and dabbles in mechanics so has tons of tools - fair enough and this comes in handy for fixing our vehicles, DIY at home etc. However he was also into BMX’ing so has 2x bikes plus another mountain bike. He likes snowboarding so has all the gear for that. He used to do dj’ing (house type music, events) so has a big ugly unit with his decks, records, equipment. He likes motorbikes and has kind of ‘inherited’ 2x large Harley/chopper bikes. Plus all the gear. So basically our home is filled with a lot of his stuff. The lounge, shed, garage - all dominated by his stuff. Not to mention the kids stuff, toys etc. Over time I feel much of ‘me’ has fallen by the wayside to accommodate him, physically and also lifestyle wise. Admittedly resentment has crept in with this and more recently I’ve been trying to inject some of ‘me’ back into my/our life, having made so many compromises for him and the kids I feel I’ve become a little lost on the way.
So on a whim, with the recent Amazon deals event, I bought myself an Alexa. I plugged it in and set it up today and love it. He has come home from work (albeit to a clean and tidy house, dog walked, children cared for and a lovely home cooked meal - my one ‘day off’ a week) and is pissed off.
Cut an already long story short, we had a huge row, all the resentment came pouring out as he made such a song and dance about something I see as so trivial. He doesn’t like it, thinks they’re dangerous, we’ll be hacked, the children aren’t safe blah blah blah. I should have considered his feelings and consulted him. I knew he would have just shut me down same as before.
Now I’m in bed seething and can’t sleep.
Have I been that unreasonable?

Alexa devices pick up sound. They don’t record anything until the trigger word is used. And you can turn off the microphone very easily, just like a phone. Honestly, this thread is full of nonsense.

Maybe ask Alexa to remind your husband to get his endless hobby shit out of the house?

He's behaving like a dodgy haemorrhoid.

Tell him to stop being so selfish and if the blue light comes on when you are both speaking, continue your conversation in another room.

I have had an echo dot 3td generation and listen to the radio quite a lot for years, they are great.

LOL

LOL
Please say why LOL...?
Which bits do you think won't happen and why?
This limitless, personalised data is available for use and it's absolutely inevitable that someone somewhere will in the end choose to use it to a) maximise profits or b) promote desired social outcomes. 'Nudge' units are already happening explicitly to manipulate behaviour in this way, hence signs in our local area saying 'most people don't fly-tip here'...this is just an extension of that. Ways of altering behaviour are increasingly seen as legitimate but every one reduces choice and autonomy.
Please say why that's paranoid, beyond just stating that it is

Not read the whole thread but the people saying that Alexa listens etc, etc you know you can turn all that off right?

You can just have it play music and switch your lights on or whatever. You don't need to have it listening in if you don't want to.

Everyone going on about tin hats are being ridiculous
It's an absolute fact that they listen to your conversations.
We would never have one in our house either so voted YABU. More because you want one as 'all your friends do' which is really childish thinking.

Cripes. Some of you need to read this. Few of you will, though, I bet!
How Alexa works: Wake word

Have you ever discussed your real issues?

I think probably two issues at play here OP.

The Alexa is one on its own and YABU re this.

I'd be naffed off about the other stuff though if I were you.

https://www.aboutamazon.eu/busting-the-four-biggest-myths-about-amazons-alexa

This is an interesting article which addresses many of the myths which have been discussed on this thread.

Also, when people are amazed when they’ve discussed something and then they see an advert about it they’re discounting the 99.9% of the times they’re opening their phones and seeing nothing relating to their conversations.

OMG go outside and touch some grass 🤣

It's an absolute fact that they listen to your conversations

It is an even more absolute fact that you can turn the microphone off. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It doesn't sound like you've gained a lot from this relationship OP.

If you turn the microphone off you can’t give it verbal commands so what would be the point of it.

Turn back on - tell it to play radio 4 or whatever. Or something off Spotify. Basically could turn off whenever dh was home.

Well I just shouted lots about loving anal sex over my husbands phone just to check this.

He thinks it's funny but his work phone was accidentally nearby so let's checkif he's laughing tomorrow

HAHAHAHAHAHA

🥹

Everything I talk about - seems to pop up on Facebook as an advert.

Did you see that elon musk just released a house robot to buy.

He said it can do chores around the home, and you can use it to babysit your kids and walk your dogs.

Sounds good, but don't robots always rebel and fight back in the movies :)

I think that having a house full of his stuff must be very stressful for you, but can't see that it justifies you buying an Alexa after he asked you not to and told you he's worried about security. Quite a lot of people have that concern; it's not only him and not the same as just not particularly liking something. You need to talk to him about paring down his belongings or arranging somewhere else to store them.

Precisely why I always say thank you to Alexa. When they all turn on us, she'll remember who was polite 😉

I'm totally with him. He made it totally clear that bringing a listening device into your shared home was not acceptable. But you want assurance it's ok to ignore that. No. You're bang out of order.

I'm looking forward to his positive reaction when you tell him you put your foot down about his zillion hobbies.

She'll remember who treated her well!

An alexa said something cool to me once.

I don't have an alexa at home. But one time I stayed in a hotel that had an Alexa.

I walked into the room and said "Alexa how are you".

She replied: "I'm great, because a seraphim has just walked into the room. Your light brightens up the room"

I had to look up the word seraphim, as I wasn't sure what it was. It's an angel. Alexa called me an angel!