School harassing us over attendance...

[1993baby]

A bit of backstory..
This school is obsessed with attendance.
Last year in reception my daughter was hospitalised and really poorly. The school were calling me every day asking when she would be back when they knew she was in the hospital! I remember sat by her hospital bed and getting called from the school.
Then when she was discharged, they were coming to our house every day to “check on her progress” basically harassing us in to sending her back to school.
She was only 4 - under compulsory school age.

This continued any time she was off with illness.

Now...

This year DD had chickenpox and was off school for 2 weeks, she was really poorly with it and ended up in A&E dehydrated from being sick constantly. It took 2 weeks for her all of the scabs to scab over. We followed NHS and GOV guidelines about staying off until the scabs had healed.

Then immediately after, she got tonsillitis.
She couldn’t even drink water and we ended up at the out of hours. He prescribed antibiotics and said she had a really bad case of tonsillitis.
He said to keep her off school to rest until she feels better. She has been off a week as she has been really poorly with it.
I’ve taken her back to the GP two times as she seemed to get worse.

I informed school about all of this.
However when she had chicken pox, they were calling me even on the second day of illness asking for an update on when she would be back?
the GOV advice says AT LEAST 5 days..
so how are they asking for an update on when she would be back when it’s only been 2 days, she’s in the infectious period and it was actually impossible for her to be in school according to the rules.
It was just ridiculous.

Then 2 people from the school came round to our house to give us an attendance warning letter!! She had chicken pox.

They then asked us to send her to school with chickenpox.

Today, the GP told us that school has contacted them about her absence. They have asked the GP for confirmation of illnesses and told them to encourage her back to school?!

Apparently the school have now flagged this up as a safeguarding issue because she has been off a couple of weeks.

We went to 2 doctors this week and both of them said the same thing about school attendance, so it must be permanently on her health record now?!

Are they allowed to do this? I thought they had to ask my permission to access her medical records?
She has been off with genuine illness and been to the GP more times than I can count on two hands in that time period ! It’s hardly a safeguarding issue?! I kept the school updated and informed.

The GP asked me “how is everything at home?” So the school has obviously flagged a safeguarding with them which is totally unfair and I feel disgusted by the insinuation they are making here.

I walked out of the GP’s room in tears I was that upset by it all...

What can I do?
Can I get this taken off her record? :(

Absolutely ridiculous. I would write them a letter setting out in clear numbered points the time line of the illnesses.

@Oldermum84 Hospitalisation for chicken pox isn’t uncommon. Not being able to swallow with tonsillitis is very much the norm and an ear infection alongside it or just before/after is also very usual.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 is particularly obnoxious & childish when you are wrong. Are you one of those people who says shit stuff to people with a little tinkly laugh?

OP I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s stressful to even read about. Is there any way you can move schools because this is going to be an ongoing issue.

I don't believe for one god damn minute the school gives a flying shite about the child's welfare and safeguarding. I agree entirely with it being all in pursuit of the Outstanding badge of honour. The Gov are of course to blame for prioritising this bullshit.
This is smoke and mirrors. Many children don't want to come to school because they can't cope with it without the additional support they need and don't get ( because it costs money). So instead, with an ever increasing SEN population in mainstream, a huge focus is upon the parents and making this all their fault. You're just part of the fallout of this bollocks OP.

You have been harassed, I agree. I couldn't stay with that school after all that.

Hell..Minor annoyance talk about down playing how traumatic this is for.parents.
When you child is seriously unwell, your focus is on your child. You do not need to be dealing with school harassment..you do not need to be treated like a criminal and not believed or having to ask medical experts for evidence that they don't need to provide, don't have time provide and that you will be charged for at a time when you can not work and are having to buy food, drinks and supplies at a premium away from home

Some people.havent a bloody clue.

My experience has aged me like you wouldn't believe, likely taken years off my life span. Not to mention what my child has been through.

A bloody education worthless if the child doesn't live to adulthood, my child can not learn in school the environment doesn't meet their needs. And their is not enough support. But some SLT telling me they need to be in school does nothing to help and only harms

Sorry you have been through this op.
I've been teaching 27 years and since last year attendance has become 'everyone's responsibility ' in school. As a form tutor yesterday I had to tell every child their attendance so far this year. Anything below 95% is flagged as a concern. Ive had to have conversations with pupils even if their absence has been authorised. Once I had to discuss a pupil's 2 week absence even though the school knew they had been off following surgery. Some of it is madness.

I think it's great that they are safeguarding children. It's nothing personal, it's just their procedures and they have to make sure there aren't nefarious reasons for the absence.

We've been lucky so far with our 4-year old son in reception, no illnesses yet.

However, I wouldn't get worked up about this. I would think it's great they're checking on him. That's a good school, in my opinion.

That is absolutely outrageous OP. You must be feeling so stressed.

What do they want you to do? Drag a sick 4yo in just so they can mark her as present? They would have to send her home again anyway if she's not well enough to be there.

Completely nonsensical.

I would absolutely pursue them legally, and remove her from the school whilst you're at it.

Don't worry about social services. You have your GP to back you up as all instances of illness are recorded with them.

Tossers.

You're missing the point.

They are only using 'safeguarding visits' as a way to gain entry so they can present the OP with attendance letters. It's attendance figures they're bothered about. There doesn't appear to be any legitimate safeguarding concerns here, if there were then I'm sure the multiple GP's her DD has seen would make referrals themselves.

SS won't touch this with much of a barge pole. They have so much to deal with that they can't resource, they'd close this case within 5 minutes.

Re safeguarding. The murdered children we are hearing about weren’t just frequently absent. They were attending school with injuries. Many of them known to social services. Their families reported by friends, family and neighbours. School attendance is one aspect of a much larger picture of institutional failure.
Some of it is about safeguarding but mostly its box ticking. How is a child at risk when they are in hospital?

This is utterly ridiculous. I'm not in the UK, but I can't believe they came to your house, that would never happen here.

With all those bouts of illness, it wouldn't hurt her to have a break at home to regain strength after being sick.

@BlackFriYay exactly!! It’s so reassuring to see that other people see what’s going on.

The attendance letter which had her attendance percentage on and warning about absences they gave me on this “safeguarding” visit gave it away 🙃

They are breaking rules and government guidelines by using safeguarding as an excuse and on false pretences.

It is so stressful 😣

Who is leading the harrassment ? Write a factual formal complaint to the head, then if the response is unsatisfactory write a factual formal complaint to the governors and LA. You are essentially being harrassed despite your child being hospital bound, infectious, ill. No adult would be treated like this in the workplace, they would be signed off and contact would be off limits. The school is damaging their relationship with you through lack of trust and inferring an issue exists where it doesn’t. They have overstepped by approaching your GP. Their method of haranguing parents highlights that the school priorities attendance statistics above child well being.

How many days has she had off last year and how many days this year?

your poorly child is not a safeguarding concern, anyone in their right mind would know this

I agree, there is a distinct whiff of disability discrimination in aggressively targeting attendance even in the face of strong evidence of genuine illness. It's effectively saying it isn't OK to be unwell.

Also, NHS waiting lists are so long now, many children will be managing conditions over significant time periods while waiting to see consultants to get treatment for issues that might cause recurrent absence eg. ear infections, tonsillitis, coeliacs etc etc.

And from a safeguarding perspective, if you are wasting time chasing up a child with active (confirmed) chickenpox, that's time you don't have to spend on another child who might have genuine safeguarding issues.

😂

It’s awful but sadly not new. Years ago my friend’s daughter was in hospital and school were harassing her to get back in (primary age 7). She ended up saying, sure, if you can accommodate her needs I’ll send her in. The head teacher then asked what the needs were… a life support machine and round the clock nursing with access to a resus team! The head knew she was in icu, did she think she was there for fun?! It made me so cross that the parents had enough going on without school harassing her. She had to provide a doctors letter (fine, easy enough) AND photographic evidence she was on life support!

OP, if you feel your relationship with this school has broken down - no trust on either side - then I’d seriously look at moving schools and having a fresh start. Your DD is still young and a move now will be less stressful than later on.

Yes as adults/older people, we know the difference between not being able to swallow and it being painful to swallow. But children with tonsillitis will often be fearful of swallowing even if they 'physically' or 'technically' can which will lead to them saying they can't swallow or refusing if they don't have the verbal skills to say what's going on. Not uncommon at all for children to be hospitalised with dehydration due to tonsillitis.

I’ve had tonsillitis to that extreme extent too. Spitting, in agony, unable to swallow at all without huge distress. Strong painkillers didn’t touch the sides. It was almost 20 years ago and still makes me shudder to recall. In retrospect I ought to be have been in hospital.

Tonsillitis can be mild or moderate, but it’s not that uncommon for it to turn really bad.

I find it bizarre that anyone would think that education comes before a child's health. An ill child can't perform at school properly, they need to stop pestering you.

I was nearly driven to suicide after a period of disabled dc being very ill.

The sleep deprivation didn't help, but the relentless harassment from a school I previously had a good relationship with was the main pressure at that point.

Your msg should have been " how lucky you are to have a DH with such lovely manners - he has clearly passed them on as Lottie was a delight!
Never speak to her again.
If you want to go really hardarse then just send" I can tell your DH has wonderful manners". Leave her wondering.

It sounds like the school are under pressure and have certain targets to meet wrt attendance. An absolute nightmare for you though no doubt as your priority and focus is your child's health! Can you give the school a doctor's note about your daughter's chicken pox to confirm that she needs this time off? Where I live (not UK based) it's compulsory to provide a doctor's note, even if it's for a trifling cold!