“Miss” and “Sir” in schools

[MyCleverGrayBear]

Been to lots of secondary school open days recently. At the state secondaries the children showing parents around etc called the teachers “Sir” and “Miss”. Is that normal? I haven’t heard this IRL ever.

(To be clear, “Miss, this parent wants to know about languages at school” vs “Mrs Jones, this parent would like to see the sports centre”. But also in a couple of classrooms there were children constantly saying “Miss, look at this, Miss, I’ve out the sign up, Miss, shall I stand here” etc and it was incredibly grating.)

And why are female teachers “Miss” and make teachers “Sir”? I felt like I was in a bad 80’s Grange Hill episode and Benny Hill was about to run in and chase me 🫣

So
how do you greet those whose names you do not know and do not need to know?

What is your polite generic?

What is your polite generic?
Buddy

Our head and SLT knows the name of every child at one of our schools. Just by the by. They make sure they do. About 75 children in each year. Our other school is larger but the head of year knows every child. Again, it’s their job to know.

And at the open evening that inspired this thread, the children knew the teacher. They were helping in her department for the evening so in the unlikely event one of them wasn’t taught by her, they would have been told “you’re in room 3 with Miss Jones”.

75 kids per year
oh sweetie
you just blew your cover

my kids went to a 6th form with 2,000 per year (that is not a typo)

Hi, I'm x, nice to meet you.
Hi, we haven't been introduced before, I'm x
Hi, I'm so sorry I've forgotten your name, I'm x

Not, not ever ' hi miss, can you help out with this '

So? It’s not a competition. And don’t call me sweetie. It’s patronising. And what cover?! Oh shit now Mumsnet know my child goes to an average sized school?!

2000 per year is unusual and of course I wouldn’t expect a head could know all the children.

When I was at primary school in the 70s, every time the headmaster came into the room, we all had to stand up and say Good morning Mr X while the boys saluted and the girls bobbed a kind of curtsey.

Early 90s we called all teachers Sir or Miss. State senior school

I'm a married Ms. But frustratingly the children still me Mrs D-B!!!!!

No it doesn’t. I’ve been called miss in both the independent schools I’ve worked in (one boarding with a fair reputation, the other day).

It makes me cringe. It was always Miss/ Mrs/ Mr / ms whatever name when I was at school. My kids school is the same. Husband is a teacher and it's Sir. Lazy.

@MyCleverGrayBear wait until you figure out that in some schools kids call all staff(including the head) by their first name.

Absolutely the norm. Even heard senior leaders referring to teachers this way in front of kids eg "can I just borrow this student, Miss?"

This is one of those threads where an OP insists they are right and yet there are hundreds of actual teachers saying it’s fine and almost no one agreeing but they still insists lots of people are on their side.
so deluded it’s embarrassing.
and the fact that the OP thinks that 75 in a secondary school year group is average. My school has 180 per year and is the smallest school in a 20 mile radius! She knows absolutely bugger all about anything education related but insists on pontificating.
bet the teachers at the school she visited will heave a massive sigh of relief at the fact it’s far too common for her precious children to attend.

*InWalksBarberalla *

wow - you’ve clearly never set foot in a school!
Miss, Darren’s being sick.
Miss, Rachel’s chasing me
Miss, the supply teacher said can you come as Bobby is beating up Alfie.
You really expect the kids to come up to you and say ‘I’m terribly sorry, we’ve not met before and I don’t know your name but there’s a massive fight downstairs and would it be possible for you to come and stop it before someone is badly hurt’ You’re as bonkers as the OP.

i went to several schools (including a large one) and we all called the teachers by their names. Same for DH at his schools. (Both in very different parts of the country)

It's perfectly possible to speak to someone politely /get their attention politely without knowing their name or calling them Sir/Miss. I mean in most situations in the realm world we all manage it! And I certainly survived my whole school career without it being an issue

Every school I’ve ever been involved with, the teachers even refer to eachother as Sir or Miss in front of the kids. I myself as the parent also use those titles talking to the teachers. I’ve been known to to say ‘Miss have you got a minute’ etc. This is how it was when I was at school. As has been said several times, it’s not laziness or not knowing their names, it’s more of a job title. When I’ve been in hospital I would get the nurses attention by calling ‘nurse’ even if I knew their name, I wouldn’t say ‘nurse name’.

Mmmm. OP can have a different view to you without either of you being 'deluded or embarrassing'.

However, insisting that anyone who does not agree with you is deluded or embarrassing, is deluded and embarrassing.

Totally agree

@Gymrabbit I was responding to a poster asking me how I address people in the workplace. In my country school teachers either use first name (including the head) or title and last name and everyone manages just fine.

As for learning teachers names, I worked for a MAT for 10 years. There were a dozen schools locally and many more nationally. Staff you had never seen before were often in and out, covering lessons, helping out, regional subject specialists. No one knows all the staffs name unless you stop to try and squint at their name badge.

I went to a secondary of 500 and the staff rarely changed, so everyone did know everyone’s names. It’s not necessarily like that now.

50 -100 per year is typically primary school in England. There are smaller primaries with only 30 per year or even mixed age classes.
At secondary anything less than 100 a year would be unusual.
In a school with around 500 pupils, it's much easier to memorise all the names.

Where are you OP?

I tend to correct kids who call me Miss. But I have to admit I have a soft spot for a very polite Egyptian boy I teach who calls me Ma’am. It’s the correct female equivalent of Sir, so I let that one go.

I think there are more small primary schools than that. My children attended one with mixed tear groups - c.90-100 in the school. That’s quite normal around here. Rural area. Nieces live in a city and attend a primary with 180 in a year, which is bigger than our secondary. I think we have c. 130 in a school year at 11-16.

Been teaching since 2000 - I’ve always been referred to as “miss”, never given it a second thought. I don’t find it disrespectful. It’s more respectful than being called just be my surname (or bitch).

DD calls her female teachers “madam”. I think it’s common for primary kids to call their teachers by their full title and name, but not at secondary.

Edit to add that I don’t even know half of my colleagues names! The turnover in schools in so high, I can’t keep track!