What is with the English, affairs, and divorce?

[BoundaryGirl3939]

Everyday when I visit this website I see a post about a husband having an affair, or a suspicion that he is cheating, or an irritation that he is getting to close to a female friend. I see mumsnet as an accurate description of what is going on in English society, and the levels of infidelity shock me.

I'm Irish, and believe me that the men here are not perfect. We have high levels of addiction (alcoholism) and dysfunction (anger management) but the infidelity is definitely not as commonplace (although it does take place but not as frequently). Yes, Irish marriages/relationships break up, and adults may get a second life partner after a relationship has died, but the actual 'cheating' is not as common and is scandalous if it does take place.

I find it shocking that an average man can contently sleep with another woman, and then go home to his wife and kids. My mind boggles that a woman can feel like she has a right to encroach on another womans husband and take a father from his family.

I’ve heard from multiple sources that Irish men are the dirtiest dogs out there, when it comes to cheating! 😅

Thanks for the giggle. Needed that today

Did you hear this from your arse?

Irish people are just far better at not getting caught.

Not at all scientific or indeed reliable when you consider that article asked people who admitted to cheating. So the places that came out with a low percentage could have just been ...lying? 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

Can't unless you're Irish, else no one will believe you.

Irish people (women) just put up and shut up because of the shame of divorce and being a good catholic and going to confession makes everything all ok. That's what an irish ex told me btw not my views

Irish heritage here, in my humble opinion, Ireland's ridiculously low 'affair rate' is because irish men are shit at flirting.

When 'abroad' they play on their accents which gets them further than it should. At home in Ireland, the accent thing doesn't work on their own womenfolk and voila...less affairs.

To all non Irish women - You may have been chatted up by an Irish man but never realised, it's very hard to spot.

France is also very Catholic and lots of French people still don't believe in divorce.
I think it's more likely that cheating is less likely to lead to a divorce** in countries where divorce is less common/frowned upon than that cheating doesn't happen. And then you wouldn't know about it because it wouldn't get aired in public as happens in a divorce.

But also, the sample size in mumsnet is biased because no one is going to post threads saying "weekly update, all good in my marriage with no infidelity to report". People usually only create threads on their marriage when there is a problem. So it maybe isn't as bleak as it seems.

**(either because the cheater leaves for the OW/OM or because the wronged partner divorces them for adultery)

Yeah I think it's just that we English are uniquely evil in a number of ways. Or so the internet would have you believe.

I live in Ireland and know of: A man left his wife and young children for his receptionist several years younger then himself. Another man left his family and legged to London for a few years, returned to Ireland and expected his family to welcome him back. Instances of men having affairs with women they met through clubs and left their wives, after treating them like shit. A few divorces and remarried couples, Partners have split and starting going out with someone else. I live in a small, conservative, church going village!

But how do you know that some of the posts you read aren't from Irish people living in Ireland lol

https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/arid-40804914.html

Listen up all you English laydees, get yourself over the border to Wales or Scotland, never get cheated on...!

Affairs happen every day amongst every group and country in the world. I'm not sure what you're taking about.

Of all the batshit I've read about Ireland/Irish on here, this must be up near the top of things that aren't true.

Of COURSE there are a load of affairs going on here. People don't broadcast them. And not everyone having an affair is an obvious sleazebag - plenty of sleaze by stealth going on too!

Oh, please, OP - don't think MN reflects English society. What misery if that were true. Tbh, since joining MN I've never thought people were so conformist, rude and bitter. But here we are. MN is pool of mostly unhappy women, sorry to say it, but it's definitely the vibe I have got.

You'll find most people come on here when something shitty has happened. Then you will have more shitty comments replying to a shitty post, making the OP feel shittier.

Yes, I'm one of these bitter women, but not bitter at life, bitter at the number of women taking jibes at other women on here... and then they call themselves 'feminists'. It's laughable.

If life if going good you probably wouldn't have anything to post.

So it's definitely not an accurate reflection of English society.

Although, with that being said. I do think Ireland may have more traditional values - as it's still quite a religious country, or has been more so than England in past years. Adultery often very frowned upon, I imagine.

😂😂😂

Do you think it might just be because women whose husbands are not having affairs don't feel the need to write posts on Mumsnet about their husbands not having affairs?

Do they not teach critical reasoning in Ireland?

Beware of stereotypes. I don't believe the French have more affairs than other people.

What a silly thing to say. As if you know possibly know what is happening in all relationships across Ireland lol

'I see mumsnet as an accurate description of what is going on in English society'

that's your first mistake right there

Irish flirting - Example 1 - #fyp #xyzcba #irish #foryoupage | garron noone | TikTok

Catholic culture, plus more of a sense of social contract.

On the first, fewer men do it as they have higher moral standards/expectations and those that do (still a significant proportion) don't leave as a result and the women choose to keep it secret due to shame.

On the second, the uk is suffering from years of aggressive political individualism leaving people to think that all the matters is their own whims and desires.

Haha yeah, agreed. Mumsnet is an alternate universe and nothing like the society I inhabit in England (thankfully 😂)