Need a hand hold

[Imbluedalale]

That’s just it really. I really need a cuddle but that’s not possible so can anybody just support me right now? My mental health is on the floor right now I’ve never felt as low it’s making me feel so ill

Agreed! You’ve shown such strength and whilst it’s unfair for it to be tested further, you will be ok. Have you told anyone about your faint? It might be exhaustion but I’m concerned you should get checked over. Big hugs!

Hi ChoccieCornflake,
Ive got a mental image of you swanning around your office building being busy leaving a scent of black tulip everywhere you go !
I know you’re so right about trying not to think ahead and I’m getting annoyed at myself for doing so but it’s not not knowing that’s getting to me. I actually feel psychically sick about having to go back into a hotel and not knowing where I’ll be etc but I know I can’t stay here until I get a home so I’ve got to try and process that I’m leaving tomorrow .
That’s a good idea about making a wish list and I know it’s only one day out of the whole year but it’s Christmas Day and I’ll be without my children and alone , just a hard thought to think about xx

Thank you Apolloneuro,
What lovely things to say to me. Thank you 🙏
I was telling the councillor the other day as I was showing her pictures of when I had my operation and my scars and I was telling her that whenever I see them on me like when I’m in the shower , my ex’s voice is in my head ‘put your legs away you’ll scare the flies away’ and she said I’m too hard on myself and I thought of all you lovely MN’s whichever given me so many lovely compliments and it made me think that yes a lot of the time I am too hard on myself so that’s something I need to work on . And I also thought that if I can get through this I will be able to get through anything xx

It’s not you saying nasty things about yourself, it’s the poisonous voice of your ex insidiously lodged in your head. Tell him to go away and that you know better than to listen to him now! Hear us all cheering you on and celebrating the beauty of you. Yes you WILL conquer, the circumstances and your ex’s nasty words!

Hi Munchyseeds2,
I hope you are well today?
I havnt told anybody about me fainting just one of the residents. I don’t like to be a nuisance and I think it must just have been over tiredness .
I’ve got my wooden spoon all ready in my suitcase and it will follow me to my new home. Once I know where I’ll b and I’m there tomorrow I will order some colouring books and maybe some books. Just got a horrible dread feeling in my tummy about it all xx

Hi TealPoet,
I hope your day is going ok so far?
I havnt told anybody about me fainting it seems trivial now I’m surprised they didn’t hear anything tbh because I did go down with quite a bang . I will keep an eye on it though and if I feel like that again I will mention it . Thank you for the hugs xx

Thank you TealPoet.
That means alot. It’s only been 3 weeks tomorrow since I was made homeless so I think it’s going to take a while for ex’s words to have less impact on me than they do now . Thank you for cheering me on and believing in me xx

Not knowing is really really hard, so it's normal you would feel upset by it. Down the line though, all this will be something you got through and survived and came out ok in the end, so if you catch yourself looking ahead, make sure to also look really far ahead as well!

As to your ex's words about your scars - words absolutely fail me. MASSIVE hugs. Given how abusive he was, I reckon you can safety assume that the opposite is true for pretty much every negative comment he made to you!

So glad you had a good sleep last night, your body must have massively needed it. I love the sound of the cheese party!

I’m so sorry you haven’t had your stay extended by longer and not getting the houses. If you’re second it surely can’t be too long before you’re top. I’ve got everything crossed for you. And totally agree with @Apolloneuro , you are strong, brave and kind. You will get through this 💐.

Hi @Imbluedalale, so glad you had a good sleep but not so good about fainting. Please keep an eye on that and let someone know if it occurs again.
I went to IKEA today and while there I bought a new wooden spoon to remind me to be as courageous as you are.
I know it won’t be nice being back in the hotel, but at least you are away from your ex and we will all be with you cheering you on. Hopefully next time you bid on houses, you will be lucky and get one.
And when your ex’s voice comes into your head, replace it with all of us telling you how amazing you are, and we know better than the ex. Let the mumsnetters voices drown his out. You are beautiful just as you are. Sending a huge hug 🤗

Thank you ChoccieCornflake.
Im really not looking forward to tomorrow and the uncertainty but I am trying my hardest to tell myself that I can do this , I’ve done it before and hopefully I can manage better this time.
I just hope I’m somewhere near and not too far away.
I think once I’ve got through this and am hopefully settled I might need some therapy for everything that has happened and things that have been said to me . I know the domestic abuse team are keen for me so go on a self esteem course once everything is settled so hopefully I can start to get exs voice out of my head in the near future xx

Hi RaspberryBeretxx,
I hope you are ok?
I’m so glad about the good sleep Aswell. It probably helped me cope a lot better with the news I’ve had today.
The cheese party was lovely , I will be sad to leave here as the staff and residents are lovely.
Thank you so much for your lovely words and support xx

Hi AdmittowearingCrocs,
How’s your day been?
I will keep an eye on the fainting , not sure why it happened, it was very strange?
Awww I’m so glad you’ve got a courage spoon, I hope yours brings you a lot of courage and strength.
I’ve got my lovely list of all the lovely things you all have said to me and when I am feeling negative, lost or sad I read it and it does help. Thank you 🙏
xx

I love the idea of calling it a ‘courage spoon’ - we all need one of those! You’ll have a Mumsnet army of spoon-wielding perfume-wearing women cheering you on! Ex had better beware anything he tries to say about you now!

When you get into your hotel maybe you’ll be able to spend a bit of time in any common areas? It sounds like you’re good at making friends and maybe you can connect to someone to help you not be as alone? And maybe we can send you cards and things to colour or something?

Hi TealPoet,
How’s your day been today?I hope you’ve had a better day?
It really depends on what hotel I’m in I was abit put off in the last one as a guy who was staying there kept trying to talk to me but was saying things that made me feel uncomfortable at times so I resorted back to my room a lot of the time . But if there is a common area I will try it out.
Awww that’s so lovely about sending me something to do but you really don’t have to get me anything your all already doing enough and I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know xx

You’re so sweet! No, I’m not having a good time with my health at the moment, and I wish I could maintain the kind of sunny inner positivity that you possess through the much greater challenges you’re facing!

Urgh, I’m so sorry that a man in the hotel made you uncomfortable. There are so many creepy men out there that I’m glad you listened to your instincts - better to be isolated than attacked! Hopefully the next hotel will be better!

It’s an honour to be able to support you in any way through your battle!

Morning lovely
Onwards and upwards into a day I know you are dreading
Get yourself settled and safe, make sure you pick up that prescription on the way to wherever, order those colouring bits and keep talking to us if it helps
YOU CAN DO THIS (and you will!) Xx

Thinking of you today @Imbluedalale and sending a big hug. Getting some colouring things sounds a good plan.

id also love to send you a card and a few crafty bits. Have you got a subscription to a tv thing or something to watch on so you could pop a gentle film or series on so it will feel like you have some company? Or do you like music? I always forget to switch it on but feel better if I have some background noise.

sending lots of good vibes and good luck for you today 🤗.

Good Morning. I've been watching your thread and remember your first thread. I just wanted to check in with you today to say good luck with the council. I really hope you can get suitable housing in place asap. Sending lots of love and best wishes xx

Morning TealPoet,
I’m so sorry to hear about your health, you’re really going through it at the moment aren’t you , bless you. If there is anything I can do please let me know . And believe me I really don’t feel positive , I wish I did, I’ve just accepted that at the moment I have no control of my life or where I’ll end up and that I’m going to feel really unsettled for a while but this path I’m walking on means I’m closer each day to getting a home so I have to keep walking until I get there. I really hope better days are coming with your health TealPoet. Sending you a big cuddle xx

Morning Munchyseeds2,
Thank you for your positive post, it really means the world you are all supporting me.
I managed to get about 6 hours sleep so not too bad. I’m up waiting for the council to open at 9am so I can start the process of trying to find a hotel again.
I will pick up the prescription on the way, in the taxi, thank you.
I hope you have a good day Munchyseeds2 and thank you for believing in me xx

Hi OP, was checking back in to see how you are doing especially with accommodation. Sending you strength. Good luck with the council this morning. And hopefully a house will come up soon, you were so close. I think accepting you don’t have much control at the moment is a really positive and clear-sighted approach. You really do have a strong, resilient mind. Hugs

Big hugs for today. Praying that you get on well in your call to the Council and they put you somewhere good. We all believe in you and are rooting for you!

Morning RaspberryBeretxx,
How are you today?
Once I’m settled as much as I can wherever I will be I will definitely be ordering some colouring things etc to try and occupy my mind.
Awww that’s so sweet thank you so much .
I do have a subscription on my phone to ITVX so I will try and watch something on that.
Thank you for the good vibes and luck xx

I’m good thank you. Just about to meet my boss for a coffee (we work from home but have a once a week coffee meet) but checking in from the car before I go.

Glad you’ll be able to get your sleep medication. Have you been ok in terms of the fainting? I wonder if your body was just desperate to sleep but definitely keep an eye on it.

I’ll keep everything crossed for you and hope that you get a nice hotel and the move isnt too stressful 🌺.