AIBU to expect 4 cats to stay in utility room/study?

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We have 4 cats that are causing major issues. They're constantly pooing and weeing all over the house, including in the bath. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and worried about having a baby crawling around cat mess.

The utility room and study combined are the size of 2 bedrooms and have a cat flap, so they'd still have plenty of space and outdoor access. They've had their jabs to go outside.

DH lets them roam freely 24/7, even when we're not home. I want them confined to that room, maybe let out for a couple hours in the evening under supervision.

DH loves them but they're completely uncontrollable. The mess is disgusting and I'm at my wit's end. AIBU to insist on this compromise? I'm not a cat person but I think it's reasonable. DH won't budge and it's really getting me down.

How would you handle this? Am I being unfair to the cats?

Stressed cats around a newborn doesn’t sound like the best idea.

My parents had a cat all through myself and multiple siblings being newborns however. But he was a chilled old boy and very well behaved.

It’s very irresponsible not to have neutered the cat. Are the younger ones neutered?

Cats are very fastidious and don’t like dirty toilets. Litter trays need changing refularly, preferably daily. They may need to be spaced out so that the scent from one isn’t off putting. It’s like territory marking. A submissive cat will shy away.

But the food needs to kept away from the litter tray. And water needs to be away from food.

The cat flap can distress some cats. In the same way that you might not relax in a house where the door doesn’t lock.

Once the accidents start they’re hard to stop because the smell of a previous accident can make them feel compelled to wee again in that spot. We had to get rid of carpet to stop it.

They're all neutered now

Are any of them related?

So yes you are being unreasonable as you should have toilet trained your cats before you got pregnant!
Now you are planning to restrict them, due to no fault of their own. Completely unfair.
My kids are now adults and have always had cats and dogs living with them. I never worried about them crawling in mess because my pets were / are, toilet trained. Why aren't yours?

The have done poos in every single room in the house there's ten rooms so it would be impossible to rid the smell. They've also weed in most at some point too

Ewww. His attraction to cats would give me the ick!

My DH is a dog person and his two dogs are his #1 priority. Me and the kids will always come second. I don't mind him preferring the dogs but it's the muddy walls and hair that I have to clean up daily.

If the dogs shat in the house it would be rehoming or divorce!!

Your DH needs to take responsibility. If they don't use the litter tray then they can't roam the house! He needs to clean it daily if they prefer it clean.

Totally possible if you start out like that but unlikely at this stage op will be able to crack it.

He sounds incredibly irresponsible and is not caring for the cats as he should be. Four cats is a lot of work and they sound like they're stressed if they're pooing and weeing everywhere. Confining them all to 2 rooms is not a solution. In all honesty, it sounds like you need to rehome them.

Quite frankly your house sounds like it will be grim. Numerous cat litter treats that are emptied every 3 days, cats then toileting around the house because they've no clean tray to use. No thank you very much.

I'd be upfront with your husband and tell him he either steps up to care for his cats or you will rehome them to someone who will take care of them. Don't do it behind his back, be honest with him. He's being cruel to them at the minute. How the hell is he not bothered about them pooing everywhere? And why is he leaving it says between cleaning the trays?? For gods sake he's making the job harder by leaving it so long - if he scooped when cat poos the litter will last longer than leaving it to fill up for days before cleaning it.

Why can't they go out?

Quite frankly your so called DH sounds like a complete twat. Letting the poor cat out to get pregnant. How irresponsible! I hope she's been spayed now and the others all spayed/neutered.

As for the toileting all over the house, as PP said they are doing this because they are stressed and their litter trays are not kept clean.

In your condition you shouldn't be having to put up with this.

I'd be reading the riot act to him, and telling him either he gets his act together and starts looking after these poor cats properly or I'll re home the cats and him!

I know you’ve got all the cats neutered now, but if your H purposely let the females out unspayed because he wanted kittens, he’s an irresponsible idiot who doesn’t deserve to have cats. If you do decide to rehome them, please do it through a rescue, not Gumtree.

Most rescues are overflowing at the moment but would probably do a direct rehoming for a fee - that’s where they find and vet the new owners & the cats go direct from your house to theirs. You’d definitely have to have sorted the toileting though.

They need to go. Or you do. You can't have a baby in this environment.

I couldn’t live with those cats, I’d move out. It sounds disgusting, not to mention an unsuitable environment for a baby/toddler. It’s a real case of - it’s either me or the cats.

Having someone come in twice a day is perfectly fine - but surely that person would be attending to the litter tray? Cats don’t like being moved around so he is actually right on that, but litter changes are part of a cat sitter’s job.

If they have pooed in every room it absolutely has to be deep cleaned for the sake of your and your baby’s health, regardless of what happens to the cats.

If he put in a cat flap they could potentially be trained to toilet in a litter area outside and many of your problems would be solved as the indoor litter tray would become much less dirty and the cats less stressed as they wouldn’t be confined and sharing territory.

Your DH is a fuckwit! Yes, you need to re-home all the cats to someone who will love them and care for them properly.

Those poor cats! I only have 2 cats and they have cat flaps too but I still clean out their litter tray twice a day, if necessary. How will you care for a child if you can’t cope with a bit of cat poo and wee?

More worryingly, why are you having a child with this idiot who can’t even care for his pets responsibly? He is not good father material.

Absolutely gobsmacked at this. Your husband is too lazy to take responsibility for some cats and get you’ve decided to have a baby with him?!!!! Why on earth would you do that to yourself 😵‍💫

Your OH is an utter twat. Happy healthy cats don’t crap everywhere. Cats that are stressed do. Cats will not use a dirty litter tray and will crap and pee somewhere else if there’s no clean tray available. Get them all rehomed, they deserve better.

I have 5 cats, one neutered male, one neutered female, and three entire females in a small house (I breed pedigrees) and have never had an issue with them not using their trays - it's either stress which it doesn't sound like or they don't like their trays. Some cats are particular about litter texture if it's sharp on their paws or it's different to what they were taught by their mother to use. I use almo nature and it keeps the smell down ALOT and only has to be properly changed every 10 days. Another thing may be the tray too small - use the biggest possible, or the tray isn't cleaned well enough inbetween changes, it's like weeing in a filthy toilet, you'd probably go elsewhere.

Another thing will be if they have already started weeing/pooing on beds or carpet, it will smell like a litter tray to them. You could try enzyme sprays but with carpet I'd say it needs replacing to stop it from happening again.

You can't just leave them in the conservatory, I'd reccomend rehoming if your husband isn't ontop of their issues, especially with a pregnancy.

What's your partnership like in other areas?

Is the issue with the cats representative of your relationship as a whole?

I repeat again - why are your cats not toilet trained? I've had over 10 cats and each and every one weed and pood in a litter tray after about 8wk old, and or/outside... and always covering it up. They are very clean animals, with little guidance. My now adult children never came across cat pee or poo. Neither did I as a child and my parents and grandparents always had cats and dogs

You won't be able to re-home cats that don't use their litter trays. Animal shelters are run over with cats that do use their litter trays. No one would adopt them and they'd get put down. It sounds like they are only young cats and it's clear your DH doesn't deserve any cats or any other animals as he's lazy and neglects them. I really hope he cares for your baby better.

Your husband is a shockingly irresponsible cat owner. Nobody who loves and cares for their cats should keep letting them have kittens time after time. They should be spayed before this happens. I feel very sorry for the poor things. I hope you find a way of rehoming them responsibly. Please don’t just give them to any old Tom, Dick or Harry and absolutely don’t put them on Facebook.

someone I know kept two kittens when their cat had kittens. Once they reached a certain age the cat turned on them and always hisses on them. They then had issues with seeing in the house. I’m not sure cats are actually meant to stay with their mums long term in nature. I’d regime the two kittens.