AIBU to expect 4 cats to stay in utility room/study?

[notaurewhatusername]

We have 4 cats that are causing major issues. They're constantly pooing and weeing all over the house, including in the bath. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and worried about having a baby crawling around cat mess.

The utility room and study combined are the size of 2 bedrooms and have a cat flap, so they'd still have plenty of space and outdoor access. They've had their jabs to go outside.

DH lets them roam freely 24/7, even when we're not home. I want them confined to that room, maybe let out for a couple hours in the evening under supervision.

DH loves them but they're completely uncontrollable. The mess is disgusting and I'm at my wit's end. AIBU to insist on this compromise? I'm not a cat person but I think it's reasonable. DH won't budge and it's really getting me down.

How would you handle this? Am I being unfair to the cats?

Too few litter trays and too few changes

I would suggest that dh needs to get 3 x the litter train he has if he only cleans them every 3 days,

Hue told me it's every two days now

Doesn’t matter, he still needs to get more cat litter trays

I’m amazed that you’ve chosen to have a child with such a prick. As he’s such an irresponsible idiot with cats, he’s certainly not going to be up for any father-of-the-year awards. Do you not fear for the child?

What is the male / female ratio of the cats, and how are they related? Are they all spayed and neutered now? They can’t make it any clearer that they’re stressed and not enjoying their family dynamic, I absolutely think that as a minimum, all but the one that your partner already had should be rehomed.

Your DH is not taking adequate care of the cats, nor is he taking his child's health seriously. Most cars won't use a litter tray multiple times. My parents used to have to change the litter every time or cat wouldn't go. Multiple per day.

You can leave and tell him you're not coming back until it's sorted. He can rehome or put in effort needed to help them with toileting.

Their litter trays need emptying every day and they should have one each. Once a cat fouls in a tray it won’t use it again. Doing it every few days is bit not enough. Your husband sounds irresponsible and lazy.

Cats aren't naturally social. Most find living with other cats stressful. Confining them in a smaller space will make this worse.

You need an extra litter tray compared to the number of cats as a minimum, so five at least. Same for food/water. Weeing in the bath is often a sign of a UTI in cats so that one (or multiple) cats needs a vet check. UTIs are brought on by stress so that also fits.

You're not happy and the cats certainly aren't.

Also he needs to clean with an enzyme cleaner anywhere the cats have weed and pooed. Otherwise they will still smell it and go back there. Just spraying some dettol on it won’t be enough.

It's going to take a while for cats who have been toileting all over to grasp/see the point in using litter trays even if he ups his game and starts cleaning them everyday. If you have tom cats it's going to be difficult to get rid of all the areas where they've sprayed and they've now learnt it's normal/acceptable to mark their territory indoors. Your DH needs to appreciate the seriousness of the situation and get his priorities straight.

It's obvious they are pooing everywhere as their trays aren't being cleaned often enough. Should be completely emptied more than every three days. Solids and clumps removed immediately as a minimum. Cats are clean.

I had three cats, now just two and they have the run of the house in the day and sleep in the utility room at night as I and caged animals when I got the cats. Sometimes they have the kitchen too overnight. They have their own door so they can go out whenever they want.

Completely trained so toilet in the garden and cover it up.

You need one (clean) tray per cat plus a spare - so for four cats that’s five trays. We have only one cat, and one tray he actually uses, but two others in different places in case that one is not clean because we’re out and can’t get to it.

Poo is removed as soon as possible (he comes and shouts at you to clean it!) and wee “dug over” and a sprinkle of fresh litter on top. The whole tray is washed out once a week, twice a week in summer. Our boy won’t toilet outside and comes in to use the tray - our previous girl would rather have trekked through shoulder high snow than use the litter.

The cats will not like having unclean litter trays. Your husband needs to step up and care for his animals.

Cats won't use a dirty litter tray as they are clean animals! We have a normal one which is cleaned twice a day and an electric one for our two main coons.
I've had cats for 20 odd years and, beyond being kittens, they've used litter trays, or outside.
I've had babies and toddlers with cats - but mine have been trained to not toilet inside so it's never been a problem.
Why are yours not trained to use a litter tray or do their business outside?

Why aren't these numerous cats pooping outside like most outdoor cats will do when there's a cat flap? Why do you even have litter trays indoors?

It's meant to be a tray each plus one.

This is the problem, your DH is neglecting his cats and not scooping out poo and changing their litter trays every day. There should be 4 trays, one for each cat and every time one of them poos it should be scooped out immediately. Cats are very clean animals and they won't use a dirty litter tray. You and DH could sort this immediately and they couldn't wee or poo around the house. Also you need to clean wherever they have done a wee or a poo with a strong pet enzyme cleaner. If you don't they will smell where they have been and think its their toilet. It would not be unreasonable to keep cats in your utility room overnight with their beds to sleep in and 4 clean litter trays. During the day about half the time they could be out there but cats like to find their own space and maybe the stress of being all shut in together causing the soiling behaviour. When you are both home in the evenings the cats need to come into the sitting room for human company.

I agree the litter trays can be tackled initially and hopefully this will make a big difference.

the poo needs removing asap from each tray - dh should check them several times a day if he doesn’t notice from the smell. I found cleaning the tray thoroughly once a week was enough usually if you’re vigilant in between.

i can totally understand why you’re stressed and your dh needs to take it more seriously.

I have 2 cats btw - though we didn’t get them too youngest dc was 5.

I don't know why he won't just get time suing the flap. I think he feels like it's neglectful letting them out I don't know

Are cats around newborns bad?

Cats usually mess in the house because they are scared or anxious. Perhaps there is some tension around the new baby coming? Perhaps they know you don't want terribly them there at the moment! Four cats is a lot for a non-cat-person to deal with.
Lots of pristine litter trays and a calm atmosphere are mostly likely to solve the problem over time. Also they need human contact, so lots of strokes from DH and from you if that feels OK to you.
So long as they have outside access, the utility/study should be enough space in the short term, provided they all get on with each other and there are four cosy sleeping places. A shelter in the garden would help too. But longer term if you want them to give them more indoor freedom, rehoming two of them might be the kindest thing, to give everyone more space.

They are almost definitely doing this because they are stressed out by too many other cats.

Cats are not pack animals. I think you need to rehome at least two of them. It’s utterly unfair on them.

This is nonsense. I know a lady with 6 cats and all are litter trained. The reasons these cats have issues is they are neglected.

No but having an irresponsible useless father is…

assume this is a joke 🙄

When we go on holiday he leaves them for the time we are away. I tell him why doesn't he take them to Catherine's and he just says they're fine and gets someone to feed them twice a day.

He will not listen and just thinks he is right all the time

Too many cats in a small space.
Not enough litter trays - needs to be number of cats +1
Litter trays not cleaned out often enough (daily, at least)
Litter trays not big enough
Litter trays not in the right place (often cats want a sheltered spot with limited view of other cats), too exposed, too cramped etc
Wrong litter used.

Stress is a major cause of inappropriate toileting issues in cats. Do all the cats get on?

I would add more litter trays.
Give more space, not less.
Use Feliway diffusers around the house.
Clean litter trays out daily.
Experiment with different litters to find what works best.

It may be that this combination of cats is not working well and one or more need rehoming.

Would he leave your baby in a shitty nappy for days? He is a terrible cat Dad.