AIBU to expect 4 cats to stay in utility room/study?

[notaurewhatusername]

We have 4 cats that are causing major issues. They're constantly pooing and weeing all over the house, including in the bath. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and worried about having a baby crawling around cat mess.

The utility room and study combined are the size of 2 bedrooms and have a cat flap, so they'd still have plenty of space and outdoor access. They've had their jabs to go outside.

DH lets them roam freely 24/7, even when we're not home. I want them confined to that room, maybe let out for a couple hours in the evening under supervision.

DH loves them but they're completely uncontrollable. The mess is disgusting and I'm at my wit's end. AIBU to insist on this compromise? I'm not a cat person but I think it's reasonable. DH won't budge and it's really getting me down.

How would you handle this? Am I being unfair to the cats?

Waiting for someone to be as sad as i am about this

the cats are unhappy and neglected. Rehome them. DH clearly won't care for them and you never wanted them.

this is quite mad.

New litter trays. Decent quality litter. Scooped every day. Changed every other day. You need 1 more tray than cats, so you need 5. Get feliway plug ins too, to reduce stress.

If your DH loves the cats then part of love is meeting their basic needs - their litter needs changing every day!

Plus at a minimum you need 5 litter trays.

It's very likely they don't get on and are stressed, and are probably as unhappy as you are about the current toilet situation.

Am seriously concerned about your DH - he 'loves' his cats but can't do basic cat care. He 'loves' his forthcoming baby but can't create a safe environment for his wife to live in or the baby to grow up in. He needs to get his act together and fast.

Good advice from @StMarieforme !

Four cats all soiling in the house is highly unusual unless the environment they are in is not suitable or they all have some sort of illness/are elderly. Your husband needs to clean the litter trays daily or find somewhere who will look after them properly.

@InvisibleRadiator he had one before meeting me, then he begged me for a second. He kept letting her out to get pregnant (which I didn't realise) and then she got pregnant again and he wanted to keep one from each litter. It's been a nightmare and I did it because I love him and felt bad giving the whole litter away

Yes it would be unreasonable. How would you even rehome them? You and him need to start taking ownership of your responsibilities. The only reason they are causing issues is because neither of you have bothered litter training them properly

Do not rehome without his permission!! Oh my goodness!! Do not do this. He will never forgive you. Understandably.

I can’t imagine why any couple would have FOUR cats even if both parties loved cats… but when half that couple actively doesn’t like cats, and then all four cats aren’t house-trained, this set-up is bananas.

Christ knows what it’ll be like adding a baby into this crazy mix.

Also good advice from @AnnaMagnani !

Sounds like they’re all trying to mark their territory. Rehome two of them and try to train the other two. With 4 you’re never going to win.

Daily cleaning of trays and I think they all need their own trays. You need to at least scoop them regularly to remove solids (a general you, not you OP). Also try changing the litter type as they may not like it. My cats were clean creatures and wouldn't use a dirty tray.

“He kept letting her out to get pregnant” 😵‍💫?!?! So these cats aren’t neutered as well as not being house-trained?

You’re crazy having a child with this irresponsible guy.

But he's VERY stubborn and will not listen to me so I don't know where to turn and what to do. This is a mess.

They poo in my dressing room today and I have so many expensive items in there. First world problem I know but it's just making me sad

You need 1 tray per cat plus 1 so at a minimum should have 5 trays , even if the one that goes outside officially doesn’t have one , they need scooping every day and cleaning more regularly. Don’t rehome without your husbands agreement that is just nasty but it’s perfectly reasonable to tell him he needs to up his game with the care .

He always acts like I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill which is why I've made this post to show him I'm not

Poor cats.

This cannot go on, there must be something very unusual going on for all four to not be house trained. Mine only started using a tray when they were about 8 because we moved house and had to keep them indoors, and they mastered it straight away without a single accident.

Your DH needs to be scooping the trays twice a day (minimum) and dealing with any poos as soon as he spots them in there. What type of litter are you using? We have three cats and use Sanicat Active Clumping. The clumping power is so strong that we only change the entire trays once a week because every deposit is removed whole. It’s a fucker for tracking, but the best we’ve used for clumping/smells so we just put up with the tracking and sweep the floor morning and night to stay on top of it.

Your DH also needs to get a black light and go around every room in the house with it to identify where they have pissed, and use an enzymatic cleaner to remove it, or they will just keep going back to the same places every time. Happy cats do not toilet all over the house, so he needs to work out exactly what the problem is, and put it right ASAP.

@Floralnomad I've told him for years to up his game with the care. My mistake was agreeing to keep any of the cats from any of the litters. So if he still doesn't step up then what do I do?

Not all of them are bad with toilet it's only two of the four

You shouldn't be touching a litter tray when you're pregnant, toxoplasmosis is serious. Confining them to stop them pooping everywhere is a short term plan, not fun for the cats long term despite a cat flap. Can some be removed at all, as harsh as that sounds?

Please go to the icatcare website and read about multicat households and stress in cats. If they do go outdoors I don’t think they necessarily have to have access to the whole house… however… they need space to be able to get away from each other and have resources that aren’t shared. You need more litter trays than cats. Think about using something like feliway friends. And maybe consider rehoming some. The litter trays need emptying more. I think icatcare may also have a page on toileting in the house. It’s a great resource. But this sounds like a stressed cat household and that’s why you get inappropriate toileting.

Completely agree with @Pandasnacks.

Honestly, I despair of people. Rescues are full to bursting because of irresponsible humans and picking up the huge costs and trauma caused to these animals by those same humans.

Take responsibility for your animals for goodness sake. And start by keeping the poor things in a clean environment. How would you feel going to a toilet that hadn't been flushed for three days?

Good god this makes me so sad.

Why are you having a baby with someone who dismisses your concerns and thinks piss and shit all over your house is normal and ok? The cats are not the real issue here, the DH is! Time to start acting like responsible adults the pair of you

Change litter trays daily as a minimum. They really need to be clean all the time but that might be too much of a change for your DH immediately. That's the aim, though.

And if they can go outside, all the better, but if they are house cats I guess that can't be changed.