AIBU to expect 4 cats to stay in utility room/study?

[notaurewhatusername]

We have 4 cats that are causing major issues. They're constantly pooing and weeing all over the house, including in the bath. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and worried about having a baby crawling around cat mess.

The utility room and study combined are the size of 2 bedrooms and have a cat flap, so they'd still have plenty of space and outdoor access. They've had their jabs to go outside.

DH lets them roam freely 24/7, even when we're not home. I want them confined to that room, maybe let out for a couple hours in the evening under supervision.

DH loves them but they're completely uncontrollable. The mess is disgusting and I'm at my wit's end. AIBU to insist on this compromise? I'm not a cat person but I think it's reasonable. DH won't budge and it's really getting me down.

How would you handle this? Am I being unfair to the cats?

2 don’t

They should have one litter tray each and an extra one. These should be scooped out twice a day at least. You cannot keep the cats locked in a room with only a few hours outside! Your husband is right in that they should have 24/7 access to outside if they only have one room. However, their quality of life sounds terrible and you both need to consider what is best for them. It may be that they would be better rehomed to somewhere they can be part of the family, not shut away.

@notaurewhatusername try a different type of litter if you haven’t already. Cats are sensitive to anything under their paws and they just may not like the texture of the little. I use a pets at home own brand clumping litter. Scoop the wee and poo every time they use it.

Cat behaviourists are a thing. Look one up, it might help.

You both sound like horrible and irresponsible owners, rehome ASAP for their happiness, nevermind yours. Cats need love and human interaction, affection and their basic needs met to be happy and thrive.

They might not like the type of litter tray or cat litter they have. Also they might be marking their territory if some have lived there longer than others, even if related.
They might think the bath is a giant litter tray? I've heard of cats doing this with shower trays.

This sounds dreadful - poor cats and poor humans. You can't bring a child up in this environment. I agree you should rehome two of them. If DH can't cope with that, and with giving them clean letter trays every day, maybe you should consider rehoming him too!

Have you enough litter trays inside? One for each cat plus one? And clean?
I think it's wrong to shut pets away, they are sentient beings.
Get DH to clean the litter trays, the cats will use them when they are clean and spaced out on each floor.
How many cats do you have?

meant clean litter trays of course!

Ok so the litter tray IS cleaned every day, as in it’s scooped and the wee and poo is taken out. So firstly increase that to twice a day, husband does it first thing and again in the evening. Then for now change the entire litter every other day and properly clean the litter tray, ie disinfect and every trace of wee and poo and marks are gone. This should be noticeable for the cats.

If money is something to throw at this then get an automatic litter tray which senses when a cat has been and rotates and gets rid of the clump. I have one for my 2 cats and it’s good but I also have 2 more basic litter trays around the house, one in the lounge one next to the automatic one. This obviously gets cleaned very frequently as they still
like to go in these too.

Keep all bedroom doors shut so they can’t go in. They can roam downstairs and hallway etc.

Make sure they have separate places to lie, I have 2 cat towers side by side and they like to lie next to eachother but never together!

Get the plug in feliway and put that near the cat tower or where they sleep. You may well need to get a few.

Cleaning the litter tray multiple times is, I think, the only way to get some change.

Good luck.

Your house must stink! Litter trays need cleaning and sorting out every day, multiple times.

4 cats is way too many

Oh and get some disposable latex gloves for yourself because if they wee or poo in the day then you will have to deal with it right away rather than wait for husband to come home. You need a drastic change to get on top of this.

No, she says they all have access to the outside but two don't toilet outside and will mess in the house instead.

Sorry op I’ve not read the full thread…

A few ideas

Swap cat litter - cats are funny animals and they may not like the feel of it, it’s trial and error mine will not use wood based ones and don’t like clumping.

I scoop up and waste 3 ish times a day (check it every time I walk past and clean as necessary) and completely clean them out every 2/3 days with the weather turning its more like every 2 days.

I have 3 cats and have 4 litter trays - I think the rule of thumb is one each and then a spare but I may be wrong 🤷‍♀️ they always use their own trays, I’ve never know them to share so to speak.

Have they been vet checked for any underlying issues, I know if they are stressed it can cause them to urinate outside of the box.

It honestly sounds like you should rehome one or two of them, toxoplasmosis is very dangerous to a pregnant woman.

And lastly your DH sounds like a twat cat urine is absolutely vile and the smell is awful and trying to get it out of furniture is hard. I haven’t actually found a spray which works after my old cat got dementia and weed all over the house. I ended up throwing away my furniture and carpets.

The trays need cleaning everyday with that many cats. If the litter is caked onto the tray after the 4 days then it’s too long. If they aren’t using the trays then change the kind of litter you’re using because they can be fussy.

You need to clean with something to break down the enzymes in the cat wee so they don’t go back to the places they’ve been before, using bleach makes it worse even if you think it will clean better.

My cat started doing this after years and it seemed having a child was what started it, they were indoor cats but we ended up letting them out in the end so stress can be a big factor.

Your fella needs to wake up because you can’t have a baby around this.

This the litter tray should be cleaned/changed every day, cats are clean animals and may refuse to use the litter tray if dirty. Your DH is unreasonable to have 4 cats if can't be bothered to look after them properly.

Sadly I really don't think sorting out the litter trays or rehoming a couple of the cats is going to help at all long term.
OP may have married a twat but OP herself doesn't like cats, doesn't want cats and doesn't seem to interact socially with them at all.
OP is asking if it's okay to confine four already stressed cats indefinitely in a very small part of the house with access to the garden.
Presumably out of sight, out of mind.
No interaction, just their basic needs met.
That is no life for the cats and bordering on neglect.

Revolting

Too many for someone who doesn't look after them. I agree. But not if they're all happy, healthy and looked after

The cats are stressed and unhappy, and so are you. Maybe you all need new homes?

OMG, you are supposed to have one more litter tray than cats (so 5 not 3) and change them every day! No wonder they are pooing all over the house, they need more trays and cleaned every day!

I totally agree.

These cats are being neglected, and even if, by some miracle, the toilet situation is sorted, they're still not going to be in a home where their owners give a shit about their welfare. They all deserve better.

I have cats and I clean their litter box twice a day, change litter every two weeks at least.

Yes I think this must be right.

Ok I’m going to be shot down here for not reading all the message, but from what I have read, un neutered cats will stress, will keep getting pregnant and causing you stress too. It’s unfair on all concerned, apart from your partner it seems, who is a totally irresponsible owner.

Keep one, get it spayed or neutered and rehome the others under the promise of getting them neutered to the new owners, or neuter them before rehoming. Either that or kick partner out, pay for the spaying and rehome them yourself, keeping the original at (also to be spayed/neutered. Ultimatum time.

@notaurewhatusername By the way YANBU to confine the cats to the utility and study IF they also have access to outside for exercise/toileting if they want to and they can be supervised elsewhere in the house in the evening for some human attention. That’s more space and care than they would likely get in a rehoming centre - and who knows how long an adult cat who messes might take to rehome.

Lots of people with pets who mess have to keep them confined to a couple of easily cleanable rooms for some of the day and overnight (including myself - I have an incontinent dog due to a spinal injury and a young toddler so I can’t let the dog roam at will). Providing they can get enough exercise, have other animals for company and can be supervised in the house for some time in the evening with you (once your baby is asleep), it isn’t cruel. I live rurally and see so many cats and dogs who are basically just fed and then left outside all the time, with limited vet care, limited human attention and sometimes even limited shelter 😩 - what you are proposing in comparison sounds fine.

As to why the indoor cats are messing, no one can say for certain. If you have followed the guidance on this thread of a tray per cat, separated in private areas (not right next to each other), tried different types of litter and made sure the poos are scooped out asap and any wet clumps scooped at least twice a day or the whole lot emptied daily if the non clumping type of litter (and the trays are washed weekly/fortnightly) - then really you have done all you can.

Assuming you have also had the cats checked at the vets to rule out any health causes, it may have unfortunately just become habitual now - once the scent is there it can be really hard to completely get rid of, so the cats will often go there again.