AIBU to expect 4 cats to stay in utility room/study?

[notaurewhatusername]

We have 4 cats that are causing major issues. They're constantly pooing and weeing all over the house, including in the bath. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and worried about having a baby crawling around cat mess.

The utility room and study combined are the size of 2 bedrooms and have a cat flap, so they'd still have plenty of space and outdoor access. They've had their jabs to go outside.

DH lets them roam freely 24/7, even when we're not home. I want them confined to that room, maybe let out for a couple hours in the evening under supervision.

DH loves them but they're completely uncontrollable. The mess is disgusting and I'm at my wit's end. AIBU to insist on this compromise? I'm not a cat person but I think it's reasonable. DH won't budge and it's really getting me down.

How would you handle this? Am I being unfair to the cats?

I put on disposable glove, scoop it up and pop it into a nappy sac and put in the outside black bin. Very easy to do.

Confining the cats to the utility/study with cat fap. FINE

Letting them poo all over the house. ABSOLUTELY NOT FINE AND NOT NORMAL.

I have 2 cats that we shut in the utility room, a space considerably smaller than what you describe, at night and when we're not here. Otherwise they have the run of the house which is much of the time as, thanks to working patterns etc, they're not home alone too much.The utility room has a cat flap and they poo outside.I do feel a bit cruel sometimes, especially if we go away, and have tried giving them access to the adjacent open plan kitchen/lounge/diner but unfortunately they scratch the dining chairs and sofa despite having a huge cat tower/scratching post so can't be left in there unsupervised.

This thread is so so sad. Why do people who have absolutely no clue about domestic cat behaviour or basic needs take home multiple cats???

Cats are solitary predators. In nature they live alone. If they form colonies, like feral cats often do, it’s for opportunistic reasons such as access to food or leftovers from humans. The colonies have no complex social structures - felines are not canines - they lack the language of group communication, they don’t hunt together like dogs do. They live in a colony but not in a pack.

Because of all that, cats are very territorial. They hunt alone so unlike dogs or wolves they are not able to catch prey that’s larger than a cat. This means that they need a large territory to support themselves and their offspring. This also means that in nature cats don’t seek company of other cats and because they hunt alone they also eat alone (except kittens) so feeding cats together and forcing them to use the same litter box are two major sources of stress.

Cats are not as socially sophisticated as dogs and they lack communication tools to de-escalate conflicts that dogs have. If you have more than one cat in the house they need to have ways to eat separately, rest separately, do their business separately and be able to pass each other and cross each other’s paths in a way that avoids constant confrontation. This means having higher places and different levels and catwalks for cats to walk and rest.

This is all very basic, domestic cat 101 and your DH as a cat lover should know all that before adopting the cats. I second PPs who said rehome them. Rehoming DH also sounds like a good idea.

I'm sure someone has said this but you need 1 tray per cat plus 1 extra so 5 .Cleaned out minimum of once daily and emptied and scrubbed at least once a week .Your house must stink .Just rehome them, honestly if you don't like them now you'll hate them after you have your child .They deserve so much better care than they are having .You can't just lock them.away and pretend they don't exist .

But OP isn't thinking of just confining them to one room at night/when away.
She is asking if the four cats can be kept in one room permanently if they have a cat flap.
Which is a completely different thing, and certainly not in the best interests of the cats.

Ok, have only read OP posts, but they read like this is a DH problem. He’s always right, he can’t be told, he won’t clean up after his pets or ensure their living space is appropriate. His pets are shi*ting and peeing all over the house, that is not acceptable on any level! It will also destroy your home, cats’ urine is notoriously difficult to remove and can destroy fabrics and soak into floorboards.

OP pregnant women are advised not to change cat litter because toxoplasmosis, found in cats’ poo, can be fatal to an unborn baby (I know a woman who lost hers at 35 weeks 😢). If your DH won’t sort this out then he is being shamefully irresponsible to the point of malignancy, for all your health and also your possessions and your property. As you say, you don’t want to bring a baby into this environment, so what is HE going to do about it?

As well as stress, they could be marking their scent. If they're male, have any of them been neutered? You can't keep them in one room all the time. Poor cats.

THIS. All of it.

How are the cats behaving like this? I don’t understand it.

Tbh your poor cats sound stressed. They are probably picking up on the fact that you don't like them. Try using Feliway plug ins. The one for multi cat households that works best, is Feliway Optimum.
Also, get your OH on side rather than moaning and get on top of it all together. He definitely needs to scoop poop and wee balls at least twice a day. Try also using hooded litter trays. Cat's Best clumping cat litter is amazing! I've kept cats for nearly 50 years and this litter is a game changer. Before baby arrives, get them used to using it in their OWN trays, in an area they can feel relaxed in. It seems expensive but works out cheaper in the long run.
Also, try and relax and make friends and play with them.

Sorry anyone that doesn’t clean their litter tray at least once a day does not love cats and it not caring for them. He has caused this issue as cats are usually very clean. Who in their right mind lets a female cat out that’s not neutered when there are rescues bursting! Honestly if he treats cats like this I’d be seriously worried how he’ll cope with a baby.

This. Cats will poop and wee elsewhere if their tray has any poop or wee left in it. We clean up as soon as our cat has used the tray, or as soon as we see it when we get up in the morning or get home from somewhere.

Litter trays need cleaning daily. Cats are by nature very clean and will naturally refuse to use litter trays that are heavily soiled.
Try putting cat food (just a tiny amount on a saucer) anywhere in the house the cats use as a toilet. They will not go where their food is. I had a cat once that used to wee and poo in the house. My vet told me to try this and it worked like a charm!

This.

How on earth are 3 cats worth of waste just sitting there for 3 days before its cleaned? Then you expect the cat to go digging through the day old poo and pee to find a new place to poo?

tell him the cats need to go or you will

Hang on, you said one cat, how did it get to 4? Especially if you’re not keen on them. I can’t believe he changes the litter tray every 3 days, that’s rank, the house must stink to high heaven with 3 day old piss and shit.
Something’s got to give. I had cats and they went outside, only had a litter tray for them when they were kittens, they were outside otherwise. In the winter they were inside in the warm more, in summer they were outside the majority of the time.
I have a dog now, he only goes to the toilet on walks.

Please don’t rehome, the rescues are already full. You need to have a proper conversation about how to deal with this. Provide beds/shelves etc and heating in the room and they should be ok as they have access to outside. When u are home let them in house and keep an eye on them

If this was me, I would rehome the cats (as in, load them in a car and drive them to the farm, about 25 km from here, but your husband probably would not like it.

If getting rid of them is not possible, I would suggest leaving your husband and the cats to it.

Depends if you want to be divorced ? You’d be disgusting to rehome without his permission imo, unsure why you’d have a child with a man that can’t even look after cats!

Why aren't the cats pooing outside?

this feels quite difficult to manage and could be very stressful for you when the baby arrives.

1. each cat needs its own tray, these need changed minimum every day and ideally you should be removing the poo immediately.
2. if the cats are peeing and pooing elsewhere in the house, your issue is they now regard these areas part of their toilet areas - are you noticing they are doing this in the same places around the house? If yes, this is a nightmare to sort, you will need to remove all traces ie lift and replace carpets, scrub out the smell on any furnishings….otherwise they keep doing it as they can smell the previous.
3. there could be addition behavioural or medical issue ie they are unhappy and stressed, perhaps the 4th cat who was not part of the original group has brought stress? Are there unneutered male cats? They will want to keep marking territory.

Honestly, I think you need to rehome some or all, or create an outside facility.

good luck.

p.s you can’t let indoor cats outside 🤦🏻‍♀️ you’re asking questions on a forum when you have google. The things you’re asking are a simple google search away.

These poor cats! This thread is really sad.
If your husband can't even be arsed to care for the animals he insisted upon then I seriously doubt he will step up for your child.
I would seriously consider rehoming the cats and yourself because your husband sounds like a complete waste of space.

...the cats do go outside.