AIBU to expect 4 cats to stay in utility room/study?

[notaurewhatusername]

We have 4 cats that are causing major issues. They're constantly pooing and weeing all over the house, including in the bath. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and worried about having a baby crawling around cat mess.

The utility room and study combined are the size of 2 bedrooms and have a cat flap, so they'd still have plenty of space and outdoor access. They've had their jabs to go outside.

DH lets them roam freely 24/7, even when we're not home. I want them confined to that room, maybe let out for a couple hours in the evening under supervision.

DH loves them but they're completely uncontrollable. The mess is disgusting and I'm at my wit's end. AIBU to insist on this compromise? I'm not a cat person but I think it's reasonable. DH won't budge and it's really getting me down.

How would you handle this? Am I being unfair to the cats?

This. I feel so sorry for these mistreated animals.

Is he going to change your child's diaper every two or three days?

In your situation I would get the automatic self-cleaning litter trays. Then they will be cleaned straight after use.

It's also worth trying a different type of litter, for example silicone, as they may prefer that. Going in a bath is similar to a litter tray so it suggests the trays aren't clean enough or they don't like the litter.

Also make sure the litter trays are nowhere near the food or water.

I would also suggest calling your vet, the assistants there will be able to make suggestions too.

Firstly you need more litter trays in more than one location. I'd choose 2 locations and have 3 litter trays in each one. Secondly use clumping litter.
Poo should be scooped immediately
Trays should be checked and emptied of wee clumps twice daily as a minimum, preferably 3xday given the current issues
The whole tray should be completely emptied and cleaned, then fresh litter put in, every 3 days minimum.
If non-clumping litter instead of scooping the wee clumps he will have to empty and clean the whole tray daily.

He won't do it though. You've been asking him for years and he hasn't. Even though you're pregnant now. He's a disgrace.

Two of the 4 are stressed. Plus the litter trays need doing at least daily. Send him info on the diseases that can be passed from cat poo, and Jesus the house must reek!

Does he spend time with them? Cuddles, feeding, anything? If not I’m afraid they would have ‘wandered off’ as cats do and sent to cat protection. The last thing you need with a new baby is cats pissing and shitting everywhere. Yuk.

I would definitely let them all out. I let my Ragdoll out into the garden, he loves it. Always comes back.

All of them.
They're obviously not happy living with you and your partner and you're not happy living with them.
You have already said you don't like cats.
Do you actually interact with the cats on a social level/engage them in play/show them affection at all?
If the answer is no, then you really shouldn't have cats at all.
Because once you have your baby you will resent them even more.
And the cats deserve better.

What are you going to do when they toilet in the pram, cot, nursery. Because chances are they will. They're already stressed a baby, toddler will make it worse.

My friend rehomed her cat for this very reason.

Enzyme cleaner spray for the wee patches or they will keep going in the same spot

Think of scooping like flushing the toilet, and emptying the tray is like a deep clean of the toilet
You flush every time you use it but you clean it less often

They should always have a litter box to go in that doesn’t have poop in it. Think of if you walked into a public bathroom and found it unflushed - you’d walk right back out again, right? How often that means scooping depends how often they poop and how many boxes you have.

Complete changes is a bit more subjective as it depends on the litter. I have kittens (I foster) who aren’t big enough to climb into a big deep box and the litter in their little box gets soggy fast so I change it at least every two days, sometimes daily. At one point when I had babies with a tummy bug it was several times a day. If I had an older cat with a deeper litter box I might be able to go longer between changes. Or not - some cats are picky and will require it more often.

Automatic litter boxes change the game again and I say a relieved little prayer as soon as they’re old enough to use them. Those I just top up and take the bags out every three days or so. It could be longer but babies poop a lot.

For multiple cats the amount of litter trays you need is the amount of cats + 1, so you should have 5 (at least), and they need to be scooped out at least once a day. Even though 2 of them are going outside I'd get 5 trays as cats resource guard so they need to have the sense that there are plenty of trays for them all.

They also might not use it if they think the litter isn't deep enough, they don't like the shape of the litter box, or they don't like the type of litter, so you could try a few different types.

Your DH also needs to clean anywhere they use that isn't a litter tray with vinegar. If it smells like their toilet they will think it's their toilet (and bleach apparently smells like cat wee to cats). You can get sprays called 'Urine Off' or 'Urine B Gone' that you can spray all the rooms with which should mask the smell for them and discourage them from toileting in those rooms.

I'd also think about trying different food. When I first got my youngest cat he was pooping all over the house because he had diarrhea and didn't have time to get to his tray, now he eats insect-based food and has full control.

I empty the litter tray into a white bin bag and bin it into the black wheelie bin in the garden, then I take the litter tray into the bath and use the shower head to firstly rinse it out, then it is washed with washing up liquid and a washing up brush - i have one in the bathroom just for this reason.
then it gets dried with a t towel.

every single day, every single litter tray.

I also line my litter trays with a newspaper as I find that easier to empty them out when it's time to clean them.
as I have several cats, I buy the cheapest cat litter there is.
My litter trays are the hooded walk in ones, as many cats like privacy.

I do not have random cat poo around my home anywhere. ever !

approx 9.30am every single morning, as I get back from my dog walk then, approx 30 mins every morning. it's just part of my daily routine.

2 of the cats are house cats, 2 go out.

I think it is too many cats. They are territorial and will wee and poo as claims to territory. Then other cat will wee and poo on top to say it’s their territory. Back and forth it goes, each cat trying to get their smells dominant. They have such sensitive noses that even if you are able to clean to point no human nose can smell it, they can smell it and will want to either top it up or overlay by wee and poo some more.

Any space not marked is an open invitation for a cat to mark as theirs. Which is why one invaded your dressing room.

Your husband has too many cats. He needs to rehome at least two of them. And I agree certain parts of the house need to be off limits.

What litter are you talking about because that makes a difference? Clumping litter - its fine to scoop the clumps and clean weekly, wood pellets/wood chip - needs cleaning regularly, I used to do it once a day as it would smell quick.

As for your cat peeing in a bath, they need a vet check because they could be peeing outside the litter tray because it hurts and they are associating pain with the litter tray.

Cats don't like to use dirty/smelly litter trays. So as soon as a litter tray is soiled a cat is unlikely to re-use it. Especially as there are multiple cats so there are likely territorial issues over who uses what litter tray also.

As you have 4 cats I'd say you need at least 5 litter trays, in different locations to offer some privacy - it doesn't matter if 1-2 of the cats "only toilet outside" according to your husband - he seems to be downplaying/minimising the situation. I would also have extra litter trays available to replace those that are drying after being cleaned.

If a cat's poo can be scooped out of the litter leaving the rest non-smelly/not soiled then it's probably OK to just scoop the poo out. If the cat wees in the litter tray the tray will smell like urine so I'd say the litter needs replacing. So basically I'd be fully cleaning out/disinfecting/replacing the litter for a litter tray after it's weed in, which could be as frequently as once a day if the litter tray is being used daily. If the tray smells like urine (i.e. litter was replaced but tray not washed properly) a cat may be reluctant to use it. Washing out with water alone is not enough to fully clean the tray.

Your husband seems to be downplaying the issue to make himself look less bad but the fact there is this problem means he's not meeting the cats' needs. Cats like to be clean. Also, being happy to bathe for an hour in a room containing a soiled/smelly litter tray is gross and reflective of his low hygiene standards. And I am a massive cat lover.

Also, despite the above processes a cat may sometimes still choose to toilet outside the tray but this should be much less frequently than what you're experiencing.

Your DH is a neglectful arsehole. Leaving the cat to get pregnant twice FFS. He’s as full of shit as the poor cats litter boxes. The more defensive he’s getting makes me wonder if he isn’t like this about more than just litter box duty.

The cats are stressed. They will be more stressed when baby arrives.

I say this as a full blown cat lady - rehome at least two of the cats. Your husband is not coping with four and they each deserve attention and care.

Take the one peeing in the bath to the vet to rule out health problems, enzymatic cleaner for areas they’ve soiled.

Then decide if you need to rehome your DH. If he can’t cope with cats he’ll be fucking useless with a kid.

Honestly this is alarming and sounds like a sign of things to come with a baby. Why on earth you are having a baby with someone you cant even come to important decisions together. It doesnt sound like a partnership at all and if this is real, I will look out for your posts next year about how he is equally useless and stubborn when it comes to your child.

Are you/your husband seriously not cleaning out your cats litter trays daily/multiple times a day? Poor things. Cats are incredibly clean and it probably really stresses them out using a dirty toilet. How would you feel having to go for a poo or wee on top of 3 day old mess? Disgusting.

Thank you, @OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon for taking proper care of your pets.

As I said in my post - minimum checking each tray at least twice a day (morning and evening preferably) and scooping out any solids and clumps and shaking the tray/topping up as necessary. If he can check it more often than that it’s a bonus - in my experience cats may tolerate some clumps of wee in a tray occasionally if no choice but poo is often a no no.

While it does depend on how much the cats use the trays vs toileting outside, to clarify further generally the whole litter tray should be completely emptied at least every 2 or 3 days as it will likely smell to the cats by then (even if it all looks clean and has been topped up). The trays then need a proper hot soapy wash and rinse once every week or two (you might want to do this on a rota so the cats have the other trays to use while the washed one is drying).

Make sure you have a tray for each cat, and at that at least a couple of them are hooded/covered trays and that they are spaced well apart - cats like privacy to toilet as they feel vulnerable then. You might also consider offering a choice of litter in different trays- some cats will only use granular stone type litter, others prefer the wooden pellet type etc.

Me too! These poor, poor cats are clearly being mistreated and are so unhappy.

It all sounds very odd. Why are they not toilet trained? I had four cats a few years ago, they had a cat door and could come and go as they pleased. Two of them were strays which I took in - I never had any problems with them making a mess inside. I lived in a flat with a small garden, and none of the cats liked any of the others. When I moved to my current flat, with three cats, I had one litter box. One never used it, the other two were perfectly happy to share it. Your cats don't sound happy for some reason.

I'm a vet. It really depends on the litter you're using. If it's clumping litter, if you're scooping poo and wee as it's used (at least once daily, probably more), you probably shouldn't need to change the litter completely more than once a week depending on frequency of use. If non-clumping you need to change it daily.

For a multi-cat household, you should have one litter tray per cat plus one in different locations around the house.

Toxoplasmosis is an extremely low risk with indoor cats as they get exposed to this by hunting, so as long as you wear gloves and wash your hands thoroughly you can change the litter tray (I did the whole way through my pregnancy for my indoor cat).

It is very unusual for cats not to be housetrained and there is normally a reason. I would recommend a vet visit in the first instance to rule out any medical reasons (e.g. cystitis or other pain). If all okay they can refer you to a behaviourist who can assess the situation and hopefully have some suggestions based on your set up.

This ^ Poor cats. Poor you.

Your poor cats this makes me so sad. They deserve better.

Haven’t read the whole thread, have they been neutered now? I really hope so. Your husband is so irresponsible and you sound heartless towards them to be honest. They ought to be in a home where they’ll be loved and cared for this is so upsetting to read

Sorry op I know you've had to clarify lots of things already so I'm sorry if I've missed this.

How many litter trays do you have available to your cats? And what age are the cats- are the trays easy for them to get in/ out of/ downstairs and upstairs? My cat would never tolerate a litter box with a flap. So sometimes they can be particular.

You should have at least one litter tray per cat. I would scoop them all twice daily and then clean it out properly once a week. (And scoop poops as soon as you notice them) But I'd clean properly more often if the smell is bad/ they've been unwell etc. Some litter is better than others so I'd try different types, personally I prefer clumping as it is cleaner. If the cats are using the same tray or couple of trays you might need to clean them more regularly during the day because I'd have done my tray twice a day for one cat.

If your cats have clean and plentiful enough litter trays that are easily accessible then I'd suggest firstly you link in with a vet to check about utis if they're still peeing elsewhere, and if that's ruled out then you need to really think about whether the cats are coping living together. My guess is you've too many in the one house and they're finding it stressful. Having a baby will only increase their stress so your dh needs to really wise up here before the baby arrives. I'd be inclined to rehome the two who are eliminating outside of the tray as they're likely the two who are coping the least and who may do much better in a single cat household.

Your dh needs to take this seriously because cats get into everything. If they start peeing in your pram or high chair or elsewhere that won't be safe for baby and it'll drive you absolutely crazy. So it won't be good for your relationship either. Especially if your dh is working and you're on mat leave you'll end up having to deal with that by default. So this really needs addressed now. Your dh needs to start thinking more about the type of environment he wants his child to grow up in and less about the emotional attachment he has to his cats. (And as a cat lover I understand that's really difficult- but this is the first stage of him stepping up as a dad and a husband). He also needs to recognise the impact this is having on you and the fact this is also your home and you have the right to enjoy it. It will be very important that you keep your nursery a cat free room.