AIBU to expect 4 cats to stay in utility room/study?

[notaurewhatusername]

We have 4 cats that are causing major issues. They're constantly pooing and weeing all over the house, including in the bath. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and worried about having a baby crawling around cat mess.

The utility room and study combined are the size of 2 bedrooms and have a cat flap, so they'd still have plenty of space and outdoor access. They've had their jabs to go outside.

DH lets them roam freely 24/7, even when we're not home. I want them confined to that room, maybe let out for a couple hours in the evening under supervision.

DH loves them but they're completely uncontrollable. The mess is disgusting and I'm at my wit's end. AIBU to insist on this compromise? I'm not a cat person but I think it's reasonable. DH won't budge and it's really getting me down.

How would you handle this? Am I being unfair to the cats?

@Charlize43 so you think he's lying and not scooping daily!

You’ve been given the solution already by numerous posters.

But I’ll repeat it…

Put your foot down and tell your DH you will leave him if he doesn’t sort out the cat problem.

They're getting more and more unhappy is the reason. It's no mystery.

Solution to try first is DH takes cats who are having accidents to the vet and seeks their advice on why this is happening. If there are medical issues he pays for medication and makes sure cat takes it if there is anything ongoing that is needed. If vet says there is nothing physically wrong with the cat, he asks their advice on how to reduce the stress in their environment.

Look on the Battersea or Cats Protection website - they have lots of advice on cat behaviour including toileting problems.

You need 5 litter trays. One for each cat plus one extra.
Get clumping litter. I like Cats Best Smart Pellets because it doesn't stick to their paws and end up all over the house.

Then the poo and clumps of wee need to be removed every time you spot them. I have a small lidded bin with a handle for this purpose and go round each tray fishing stuff out. The bin gets emptied every day.

With the Smart Pellets the litter trays don't need to be completely emptied every day. I normally do this twice a week. It really depends on what litter you are using. Some litters absolutely stink and have to be completely changed every day and other litters can go much longer as long as you take all the clumps and poo out (Smart Pellets claim you only need to change once a month which is utterly ridiculous and revolting).

When the trays are emptied they need to be washed and dried. You can get sprays for this purpose or just wash with dish soap and water.

Cats won't go in dirty trays. If the trays aren't washed out and DH just puts clean litter in them the trays will still smell and the cats won't use them.

The cats obviously don't like the litter trays and have got into the habit of shitting wherever they fancy. Once they start shitting somewhere they will continue to use that place unless you get rid of the smell completely and prevent them from shitting there again i.e. by stopping them using the room they are shitting in.

DH needs to sort his act out and stop this.
I love cats and I have 4. There is no way in hell I'd put up with living in a house (baby or no baby) with cats shitting everywhere. They are usually clean animals so if they are doing this they are really unhappy about something (could be the litter trays, could be internal dynamics in the group, could be not happy with you being there...)

OP, you need to rehome the cats, for them and for you.
Four cats who are quite stressed already cannot be confined to a very small part of the house indefinitely.
You don't seem to have much of a bond with them now, and when your baby is born it seems as if you would resent them even more.

But what is really worrying is that your DH doesn’t seem to see the fact the cats are randomly toileting round the house as a problem. Does he think this is normal and an okay way to live?

I've never had a cat do this as others have said could be stress are they nutured? May be territorial issues so all marking their territory or if one cat is afraid of the others it will not use the litter tray and go elsewhere if the litter tray has their scent.. can you not leave a window open in the day time to let them out you need to encourage them or put them outside frequently. I have two cats and no little trays and I never had one accident and I work long long days there is definitely something more going on here

Why on earth have you allowed yourself to get into a situation where you have FOUR cats (an excessive number of animals really) when you don't even like cats?? They're your DH's, I take it? Why did he introduce 4 of them when you don't want them? Is he an animal hoarder?

Rehome them, FFS. They won't be happy confined to two rooms when they've had the run of the house and will constantly try to get out of those two rooms every time you open the door. You don't like or want them and your DH seems pretty feckless about them - and you'll both have a baby to look after.

I love cats and we have two. They are a PITA and get in the way/take up lots of attention/make work/shit an unfeasible amount in their litter trays - we do all that for them because we love them. I can't imagine having to do that for four of the buggers if I didn't even want them in the house!

They would only shit and piss outside the trays if (a) the trays are dirty (b) already used by other cats (c) there are not enough trays for all the cats.

Insist that your husband hire someone to come in and change the trays once or twice a day.

It sounds awful, just awful! Worse that you are bringing a child into this mess.

Your DP is irresponsible in not having the cats he claims to love neutered. These 4 cats will become 16 cats by this time next year if you don't get them fixed. Get 4 of them neutered and microchipped. Put microchip catflap in so they can come and go as they please, but random cats can't get in. Put 4 litter trays outside the house and see if they start to use them. Without knowing the garden set up, can't say if it's a good idea to eventually remove the tray and let them go in the wild. Confining to those 2 rooms would be a good idea for a period as it cuts off their access to all their other "toilets" around your house, making it more likely for them to want to use the fresh litter in hooded boxes outside. Cats are crepiscular, meaning their "giddy time" will be as you are putting baby to bed, so you don't want to be in a position of having to let them in and out. They will be happiest if they can come and go on their own schedule.

The OP has repeatedly said that she took responsibility and they are all neutered now.

They're seemingly very unhappy though and their owner is uninterested in doing anything about it - and neglectful of their wellbeing and that of his wife and child.

I am sad. Crazy cat lady. These cats are telling you something about how unhappy they are 😭.

Agree with everyone who's said that 4 is too many and makes for bad dynamics. That's got to be partially behind the fouling everywhere - turf wars. The other reason is of course that your lazy DH isn't cleaning the trays often enough. Our two young cats, as kittens, were so fastidious that if I didn't completely change the Catsan litter in both their trays at least every 48 hours, they would find somewhere else to pee. It was a nightmare. I discovered enzyme sprays (Amazon) to deter them from re-fouling. We went through huge amounts of cat litter. I started using World's Best Cat Litter which is a game changer, BUT it's no substitute for checking the trays several times a day and using a sifter shovel to remove pee clumps (and of course turds - I cannot understand how anyone could stand to have animal faeces sitting around in their living space once they knew it was there). You HAVE to keep removing the clumps and poos, or they WILL find somewhere else to make their deposits, the fussy little darlings.

If the trays are in the bathroom, do you see them frequently? You should be able to tell if he's telling porkies( you'd keep seeing the same turds to put it bluntly).
Unless you have a particular breed of cat that likes to stay in (ragdoll, siamese etc) cats should be allowed outside whenever they want. You have to trust that they will come back, which they will if you are feeding them.

Ok there is a solution but it's expensive!

Have a look at litter robot. Do NOT get the cheap.chinese copies, some of them are very dangerous. They're weight activated - as soon as the cat steps in it sets off a sensor and a few minutes after it leaves it automatically sifts out wee and poo. All he will have to do is remove the bag every day or so. But with four cats you are going to need at least two, preferably three which is going to cost. Depending on area you MIGHT find one second hand on Ebay but they're big so people aren't generally willing to ship.

Cleaner litter boxes will mean they shouldn't poop everywhere.

Once every 3 days??? The litter should be changed far more frequently than that! No wonder your house is minging. Poor cats.

@notaurewhatusername As pp have pointed out, cats are naturally clean creatures and pooing inside a house is very rare for healthy cats if they have an alternative (either going outside or a clean, private litter tray). I suspect the pooing is happening because the weather is so bad that the cats won’t go out to toilet - but the litter trays aren’t clean enough or private enough to use inside (unless you have suddenly changed cat litter and that is the cause).

Peeing/spraying is much more complicated and not as uncommon as people think, even with neutered cats. Even clean litter trays, Feliway plug ins, and using lots of enzyme cleanser on the spots where they do it sometimes doesn’t always stop the problem. If the new baby was already here, then I might suggest that was the reason for the stress and that they were scent marking their territory, but unless something else has changed in their lives recently- then it’s difficult to pinpoint a cause of why it’s getting worse.

Sounds to me like you have 2 choices - leave your husband and his cats or improve the utility and study for the cats (more clean litter trays, more beds, cat trees, toys) so that they can stay permanently in there unless they are being closely monitored. If your husband won’t do it (and you aren’t willing to leave him) , then you’ll have to put gloves on and do it yourself, despite the pregnancy.

Every 3 days to empty and clean the litter trays is disgusting and lazy.
Needs to be daily.

and for 4 cats I would have 5 litter trays. and not altogether in a row either.

The other solution to make it easier to do a complete litter bo change is quite simple. Use litter box liners. Get a decent brand as the cheap ones shred too easily, or I find on big trays a dust bin bag fits quite well.

When changing litter, just pick up the bag and take it to the outside bin. Job done and no smears of poop on the tray to upset the cats. New liner in, fill back up, jobs a good un.

Can people PLEASe clarify the following;

How often should we and poo be scooped

How often should the whole tray be emptied and new litter bought and put in?

I don't think he has ever disinfected the actual tray I will ask him but I'm confident he just changes the litter - is this also not acceptable!

Scoop after each use.

Full change every morning. Use liners to make it easy.

Honestly, have some empathy for the animals. How would you like it??

Loads of people have clarified this.

Poo to be scooped daily (preferably more) and top up with a small amount of fresh litter

Full litter change depends on your litter - it may need every 2 days but may be able to last a week. Does it smell? Are there clumps of wet litter inside? Ours lasts about 4 days before it needs a change (and cats are fine with that - but I scoop 2-3 times a day).

Tray must be washed and dried at litter change but do not disinfect (cats may not like the smell), soap and water is fine.

Why do you bother with the hassle and expense of pets if you don’t like them that much?

@notaurewhatusername as I posted above

Scoop every day

How often all the litter needs replacing depends on the type of litter you are using. Can vary from daily to weeks. Would not recommend liners, I tried it, the cats hated them and ripped them all up.

What sort of litter do you have?