DH bought me a dodgy hairdryer!! AIBU?

[GreenDuck1]

Money has been really tight the last few
months, with loads of big expenses coming up out of the blue. My birthday is coming up and DH said he knew what he wanted to get me but that it was over £100. I tried to discourage him but he was adamant it was something I really wanted and that he really wanted to get it for me. This morning I looked on the credit card statement and there was a payment for £160 to a company name that I had never heard of. The company on the statement was actually their website. I thought this must be my gift from DH, and didn’t want to ruin the surprise, but alarm bells were ringing that he had bought from some random company, so I googled the company name and trust pilot. Straight away I saw that it’s only got 3 reviews all written in the last 3 days.

At that point, I went onto the company website, and they’re basically flogging fake Dyson hairdryers for £160. There is free worldwide shipping but returns are at your own expense… to the states! There is no part of me that wants this hairdryer and I think it’s one of these insta influencer type scams!

I spoke to my husband and was upset that we now have thrown £160 away on some tat! I do need a new hairdryer, but with money so tight, I’m upset that he didn’t take basic precautions when shopping online!

He is saying I’m really ungrateful. I’ve tried to explain that I’m just disappointed because I actually could have got an amazing hairdryer for much less money and I’m concerned that we’ve basically just thrown £160 away at a time when we really don’t have that kind of money to spare.

DH is now really upset with me.

AIBU?

The credit card company won't help if it's just because of a change of mind, but if you tell them you believe you've been scammed, and tell them why, they should be able to stop the payment. You will need to speak to the fraud team.

It’s an AIBU reasonable post. I would find scrutiny of my every purchase within a relationship unreasonable. So that’s my penny’s worth.

Sounds like we’d have a lot in common. My dad gave my mum a set amount when he got paid but of course there are otter ways to manage money and I’m sure your parents did what worked best for them. I’m amazed at the princess and lucky shouts re a woman wanting some money in their own name. It’s usually women from very difficult backgrounds (like myself) who need this in order to feel safe.

Okay so I had a look at the website. It definitely looks like a shop hosted by shopify. So it might be genuine but very new. With shopify, the shop owner does not ever have the stock themselves, it is sent out directly from the supplier. It has shipping, privacy, terms of use pages which believe it or not is something often overlooked with scam websites. It does have a physical address and the support email is at least using the domain name.

Looking at the domain name, it was only registered on September the 25th. There was also no identity match with the name and address supplied.

I also found this review (attached screenshot) on their German websites trust pilot. So from that, it looks possible you will receive your Chinese hairdryer but if anything is wrong or it isn’t suitable, returning it won’t be possible.

He tried to do something nice and I imagine that he's learnt his lesson.

This is why, when I'm attracted to something on a Facebook ad or similar, I search for it on Amazon, find something more or less the same at a much reduced price, read the reviews and return for a refund if It's not as expected.

Thanks all!

i have asked DH to call the credit card company again and explain he thinks the company might be dodgy. Initially, he just told them he wanted to cancel the transaction as it said ‘pending’ on the online banking.

From what you are saying though @MerlotStreep, we might not have any luck with the credit card company! 🙈

DH is really annoyed with me now. He says I’ve handled this whole thing terribly and I’m treating him like a child. He said that this is not his strong point and that he did research the hairdryer as he looked at a few including Dyson and shark and decided this was the best one based on reviews. When I asked what reviews he read, he just gets defensive. And now he’s really annoyed about the whole situation.

They can 'help' its called section 75. It's the law they are required to help. Which company/bank is it?

It’s virgin money.

Same here.

I'm split on this one. Yes, he spent money (quite a bit), yes it COULD be dodgy, but he did it with good intentions, trying to get you a good name-brand, quality present.

It looks like you won't be able to return it, so how about actually trying it?! Obviously (as is true for ALL hairdryers and curling irons etc), don't leave on, sitting on stuff, etc, but for all you know, it might actually work! If it starts smoking, throw it out. It's not like it's a bale of hay that will burst into flames, it's plastic and metal that smoke and stop working in the worst-case scenario.

For all you know, it might be amazing! Many of these knock-offs are made in the same place anyway, you just pay a higher markup on the branded version.

That doesn't mean people who share money are in the wrong. I'm of the opposite belief to you in that in marriage you share everything, especially something as fundamental as money.

My DH brought me fake GHDs 13 years ago.

They still work perfectly, and do the job of real
GHDs.

YABU.

YABU to take it out on your husband

He made a mistake.

He's really just annoyed at himself but taking it out on you.

(I'm assuming you haven't shouted at him or called him a stupid cunt or something)

Would he rather you just pretended they weren't dodgy?

You don’t know it’s dodgy yet as you haven’t received it.

Prima Donna girl 😀😝

It's theirs. Joint, she's said that. If they entirely share finances like we do then it doesn't matter who actually earnt the money, they both have claim on deciding whether to spend a large amount or not.

What is he saying is not his strongest point? Buying presents? Money management? Reading comprehension?
If you can't find any good reviews then he is clearly lying.

Even ignoring all the issues with the potentially dodgy company he bought you something you didn't want and presumably had never expressed any interest in (an expensive hairdryer) It's a crap gift that you've essentially paid half for yourself for something you don't want. Why should you be grateful for that?
The issues with the company just make him even stupider because if you'd got it from boots at least you could have returned it for something you actually want.
Seriously the bar is on the floor for men. If you'd spent £160 which for most people is a LOT of money on something he didn't want for his birthday (personalised football short for a team he doesn't support or whatever) then I doubt he'd be happy!

Yes, we have a joint account, but I spend as I please, within our finances, so does my dh.

I agree with @LauritaEvita, I’d be really pissed off if someone unilaterally decided to buy something I didn’t want with money that was apparently half mine, that we couldn’t afford, and then expected me to be happy and grateful. How is that a nice present?! At least if it was clearly his money from his pot the OP wouldn’t actually be watching her hard-earned cash get pissed up the wall.

This is why I insist - and it took a couple of shit presents from DH to reinforce the sense in it - on only buying gifts from a list which gives precise details, preferably a link to The Actual Thing.

My list is extensive and goes from things that cost about a fiver to massive Lego sets (eg the Millinneum Falcon for 800 quid)

That way I get a surprise, but never something I don't want/need

The shared finances are the problem here. He has not got his own money to make his own mistakes with.

Well spotted. And very true

He's bought a Temu quality hairdryer for 8 times Temu prices. That's what those sites do, they sell cheap Chinese products at 'good' brand prices with a slick looking website. I've had a look and similar products are on Temu for under £20.

Ok so I've posted a trigger word and got an automatic hide. Basically I said he's bought a website selling cheap things rhyming with Emu quality hairdryer for 8 times the price. These sites sell cheap products for 'name brand' prices with slick websites and disappear when the reviews start coming in. I've just looked on the flightless bird site and similar products are less than £20.

Did he pay almost the price of real GHDs though? Cheap hair straighteners are fine if you pay cheap prices, likewise hairdryers. The man has paid £160 for a £20 quality item.