DH bought me a dodgy hairdryer!! AIBU?

[GreenDuck1]

Money has been really tight the last few
months, with loads of big expenses coming up out of the blue. My birthday is coming up and DH said he knew what he wanted to get me but that it was over £100. I tried to discourage him but he was adamant it was something I really wanted and that he really wanted to get it for me. This morning I looked on the credit card statement and there was a payment for £160 to a company name that I had never heard of. The company on the statement was actually their website. I thought this must be my gift from DH, and didn’t want to ruin the surprise, but alarm bells were ringing that he had bought from some random company, so I googled the company name and trust pilot. Straight away I saw that it’s only got 3 reviews all written in the last 3 days.

At that point, I went onto the company website, and they’re basically flogging fake Dyson hairdryers for £160. There is free worldwide shipping but returns are at your own expense… to the states! There is no part of me that wants this hairdryer and I think it’s one of these insta influencer type scams!

I spoke to my husband and was upset that we now have thrown £160 away on some tat! I do need a new hairdryer, but with money so tight, I’m upset that he didn’t take basic precautions when shopping online!

He is saying I’m really ungrateful. I’ve tried to explain that I’m just disappointed because I actually could have got an amazing hairdryer for much less money and I’m concerned that we’ve basically just thrown £160 away at a time when we really don’t have that kind of money to spare.

DH is now really upset with me.

AIBU?

There are several issues here.

I'm with the DH tbh simply because harping on about this and making him feel worse is a bit shitty of OP. I get her disappointment and anger at the cost, but, OP, you are an adult so behave like one.

The consequence of this should surely be a discussion about discretionary spending and, if possible, a sum for each of you to do with as you please (even if it's only a fiver a month each).

And also a discussion about present buying and larger purches over an agreed amount?

Edited for typos

But my dad had no spare money to give my mum to have as her own...

There was literally no option for her to have her "own" money. All money was family money and was spent on family (i.e. rent, bills and food). They used to save up to buy me and my sibling our Christmas presents and they used to buy each other a box of chocolates for theirs.

Just because you "need" your own money to feel safe, it doesn't always mean it's actually possible for everyone.

OP's question was, was she being unreasonable to be upset with her husband who appears to have fallen victim to a scam website, spending money they didn't really have.

Your response didn't answer the question asked, and makes it seem like you think you're better than her because you couldn't possibly be in a position to, god forbid, have to actually fully share finances with someone.

The credit card company can help if it is a scam website.
My XH did similar, sent £500 quid to dodgyxboxesrus, not the real website before anyone says anything, on behalf of our DS .... it was clearly a scam ... the credit card company fraud dept were excellent, stopped the payment and liaised with the police on our behalf.

It's not a scam though it's just some website selling cheap quality items for inflated prices. That's not a scam in the true sense of the word. It's just a rip off.

That's why I made sure to say IF its a scam website.
OP hasn't received the hairdryer yet, and may not. I was just posting some help if it turns out that way.

So DH has bought an expensive (rip off) gift for his wife to make himself feel good….

its Going to be the elephant in the room… every time op looks at it will think that’s a weeks food shop…

it's plastic and metal that smoke and stop working in the worst-case scenario.

Er or electrocute you would be much worse than smoking.
If it's got an earthed plug and/or the relevant markings then it's likely to be ok, but there's a chance it'll be downright dangerous and not suitable for for sale in the UK

Surely distance selling regulations mean you can return the item regardless of reason and get a refund ? If the company refuse to accept the return under the above clause then the cc company should be able to action a refund....

Assuming it's not a fake website (which I think it is) and you actually receive the hairdryer, will you even be able to use it in the UK? I can't see anything about voltage and if it's made for the USA's voltage, plugging it in here will blow it up.

I also didn't see an option to choose a UK plug and one of the Instagram "influencer" photos on their website shows it has a US plug.

OP- have you cancelled your card yet? I think it's really important if your husband has used a dodgy website.

They're on ebay for £149. The make is Bartoni.

He's an idiot.

You should buy him an equally stupid man thing for his birthday. An electronic golf ball cleaner or somesuch.

Of course...

But you have to return at your own cost, which when you attempt to do so you'll find it is a return to China, at an eyewatering cost.

And they won't refund until it arrives back with them and they've checked it out... which will take them months/never...

And by the time you come to realise you're never getting your refund, it's outwith the time frame your CC company will do a charge back for, and/or the company have changed names and disappeared and popped up as someone else, somewhere else, so they can't.

That is of course if a hairdryer ever arrives - chances are it will be nothing ever arrives and by the time you realise it never will, again the company has done a bunk and its outside the timeframe the bank or CC will take action in.

Yikes. They're on Aliexpress for £26!

Super Hair Dryer 220V Leafless Hair dryer Personal Hair Care Styling Negative Ion Tool Constant Anion Electric Hair Dryers - AliExpress

I’d be cross in your situation but take it easy on your solo if it was done with good intentions

i never buy anything from Facebook links etc. almost always looks dodgy.

you never know the hairdryer might arrive and might be allright. Admittedly unlikely. If it doesn’t then back the credit card people but if the company operates outside the UK it might be that they can’t do anything

just looked at the website. It sort of looks legit on first glance but if you take a closer look at what is written it is very odd indeed. Check out the "about us" page, Just odd.

There are some reviews on there but they are all by influencers (if they are indeed real at all!). The link to trust pilot doesn't work, you can find them on trust pilot but three very strange very recent reviews.

I'd sit down the DH calmly and point out all the red flags. But make it clear that you appreicate the gesture. Hopefully (?) he will realisee it's a piece of sh*t when it arrives (or doesn't).

In future he is better just sticking to amazon and websites tied to actual (british) shops where you can always take stuff physically back. TBF shopping online outside trusted websites really is a minefield these days.

Let’s all give the man a break. He’s been pulled in by a very good looking but dodgy site with fake reviews, for a product which is probably all over FB and Insta.

I know, because it happened to me last year with another hair styler. It did turn up, but it was plasticy and the brushes were rough. I didn’t dare use it.

I had tried to cancel it literally 30 mins after buying and the ‘customer service’ just tell you that it’s already despatched (from god knows where) but you can contact them to return when it arrives. THEY DO NOT THEN LET YOU DO THIS because apparently you bought it on limited special offer which meant no returns. Despite me sending them screenshots of their web pages which said nothing of the sort, I got nowhere.

PayPal also wouldn’t refund me.

I am a clever, IT literate person but the stupid Instagram pretend posts sucked me in. I am still so angry with myself for wasting £60.

It's not about being duped by a glossy website.

Even if it was a decent hairdryer £160 is just too much at this time!

@diddl well yes, I do see that this is the bigger issue :(

Who are now part of Nationwide although theyre still merging. Phone back and say you want to make a section 75 claim and explain its a fraudulent website. They can't refund you whilst it's pending but can make a note on your account and once the transaction has gone through fully they can refund you and go about investigating the company etc.

Never pay with PayPal- always use a credit card directly.

@Itsmahoneybaloney thanks - and yes, one of many lessons learned on this!

Aw lay off the DH! Going on what OP has told us he tried to do a nice thing and has made a silly mistake. He’s not deliberately tried to risk OPs safety with dodgy electrical goods. He thought she deserved a nice present and was prepared to go over budget thinking he was getting a bargain. Naive, but well intended.
Ive fallen for these “scams” before even after checking Trustpilot. It’s one of the pitfalls of online shopping and none of us are perfect.

And you’re contributing to this thread how exactly? How other people organise their finances, joint or otherwise is none of your business.

And even Amazon isn’t foolproof

Can't admit he's wrong then?

Dropshipping companies are not the best to deal with as you have nowhere to return and they don't honour cooling off periods