To be fuming that other mum is asking my son why he has extra time?

[Folicky]

Son is due to sit transfer test in a few weeks. We went to familiarisation session recently at the school where he is due to sit the exam. My son is getting extra time. The children with extra time had to sit in a different part of the assembly hall away from the other children in their class. Another melter of a mum who I normally dodge on the school run, and who is maniacally competitive, asked my child (out of earshot of me) why he was getting extra time, also said to the facilitators that he shouldn't be in the extra time group, waited for us outside and then rang me afterwards (I missed the call). Fact of the matter is, (a) it's due a mixture of mental health and a few neurodevelopmental issues; and, (b) it's none of her business. Nonetheless, I'm worried she's going to try to do this all over again to my son outside the school. I only collect him once per week, so can't fully protect him. What response would be appropriate?

If he finishes 30 mins before everyone else, how is the extra time to his advantage as he is just sat there doing nothing.

🙄 How do you know my kid doesn't need it? Worth getting her assessed and see what the professionals say 🤷‍♀️

I've not contradicted that.
You are suggesting applying because 'it's easy to get' not because 'my daughter has X issue which it's commonly awarded for'.
If she has need she should get it.

It's just an example of someone who clearly doesn't need extra time. He can use it to check his work.

If your kid needs extra time and they get it, great. I'm not sure extra time in exams is necessarily helpful if you don't need it, so it is indeed a level playing field.

You said 'it's easy to get', no mention of her actual potential need.

If she has a need I’m sure her teachers will be all over the application for extra time.

Not necessarily.
If he's been assessed as needing it then he probably needs it.

Actually, I would have agreed with all these points up until last year.

A pupil I taught got diagnosed with dyslexia aged 18 in Y13. He absolutely was not dyslexic, not one teacher could provide evidence of him being dyslexic, yet by going privately and paying circa £2500, they got a diagnosis which entitled him to the extra 25% of time. They seemed to think this would get him a better A Level grade.

I did point out that his lack of marks in the mock exam were purely down to insufficient work and lack of preparation, so no amount of extra time would have made any difference to his result as he just hadn't learned the content sufficiently.

Needless to say his final result was as predicted, but it made me feel quite annoyed that money can potentially buy you 25% of extra time in exams.

@Folicky you do not have to answer to this woman. I'd just completely ignore her.

What on earth is wrong with her? Is she not well?!

Agree OP this woman sounds batshit. Also agree a message to the mum to ask her to stop asking - I’d avoid the phrase ‘private medical information’ though, that itself is more info than is her business. You choose a phrasing you are comfy with but why he has the time is agreed by the school and none of her business, you won’t be discussing it.

There are two parts to this.
The OP’s actual question about whether she is BU about some random mum interrogating her son (of course she isn’t BU - the mum sounds like an idiot)

The second part is what this thread is going to inevitably turn in to - should some kids be allowed extra time to do their exams. I don’t know the answer to this. It doesn’t seem like a huge advantage to me. If trying to decipher what the question means takes you a little longer than most, due to a condition of some sort, but once you figure it out you get the question right then surely it’s fair? No amount of extra time is going to help a pupil who just doesn’t understand how to answer a question. They either know or they don’t. I used to finish exams really quickly and score well. Wouldn’t it make sense to just increase the time for all of them?! It’s fair and the only downside is that the pupil’s that don’t need it will have to sit for longer once they have finished. Unless they’re allowed to leave once finished?
It would also stop ‘othering’ of kids who qualify for extra time.

Yes get on the front foot with it

Your school may have its own policies and procedures for thier internal exams, but for the gcses/a levels the requirements are easy to look up and if your child meets those requirement it would be a very good idea to get the wheels in motion.

There hasbeen a bit of a tightening up of access arrangements recently. There is also a bit of evidence that extra time isn't helpful for some students and other adjustments are more useful.

None of your fucking business! Do people have no shame?

Well he doesnt have to justify it or answer

Its enough to say, that is my confidential information and I dont talk about it

Agree with others, dont use the phrase 'did you mean to be so rude'!!!

He'll grow up to be a twat

Careful now, your ignorance is showing.

Top sets, cognitive ability, intelligence, whatever aren't a marker of whether a child needs or qualifies for extra exam time.

Both of my children, as part of their neurodevelopment assessments for autism and ADHD had cognitive and IQ testing. I have one on the 96th percentile and one on the 98th. They can do exceptionally well academically, they're both classed as 'gifted' (yuck) and are both performing well ahead of age related expectations across the curriculum. They are able to do this BECAUSE of the additional support and adjustments that they have in place.

They're both articulate, appear sociable, and do not have behavioural issues in school.

In short, if you didn't know as an outsider, you'd have absolutely no idea there was anything amiss and would likely be outraged that these very 'able' children get extra help.

They're both autistic, both have ADHD and both have SPD. They have significant special educational needs and need high levels of support to attend school and access their education. They qualify for, and will have (when the time comes, they're primary aged atm) extra time in tests/exams and other reasonable adjustments to ensure that they can complete tests on a level footing with their peers.

Don't judge what you very clearly don't understand.

Unbelievable. Tell her very clearly it is none of her business and you don’t appreciate her behaviour

“Everybody who needs to know does already” is utterly brilliant! Thank you Moose I’m saving that for future use 😊

MH & ND are a data protection issues, so tell your son, that if he's asked any intrusive questions of this nature, he does not have to answer.

" For my data protection, I refuse to answer"

Then he needs to walk away from her so she does not try and pry the info out of him.

This!

Get in front of it. Message her to return the missed call, and then if she does have the cheek to ask (she may have calmed down afterwards!) you can reply that it's his private medical information that you won't be sharing.

This. 2 E children (gifted and those with ASD) often interpret exam questions very literally and this can lead to a need for extra time to check answers.
Obviously on papers like basic arithmetic there is one answer, but for problem solving or more challenging papers, it's much easier for a 2E child to fall into a hole and answer the question too literally.

Not sure why "gifted" is a bad word. It's used by the Department for Education.

My kids primary school won't use it though. They say all children are gifted which, as we all know, is total BS.

I speak as someone completely average.

Quoted by who?