Bringing your whole fucking family to A&E

[changedlife]

Waiting to be seen at A&E. sent here by GP because DH has had an adverse blood result that needs to be dealt with.

A&E packed as usual. To be expected. However one family is here with one woman. There are 5 grown adults with the patient who is in her 30s... I don't know her issue but laughing a joking with the family. Just to add to the joy their phones go off constantly whereupon they give a blow by blow run down of her current medical state (she's hurt her foot it seems - from the latest phone update. )

DH is disabled. There is nowhere to sit In A&E. Foot-family are settled in and have actually just had a KFC delivery. I swear it's like an evening out for them.

DH can't stand. So have sent him back to wait in the car - which as he has a blue badge - is quite close. I'll call him when his turn comes. As I can stand.. However .. AIBU to think you don't need FIVE adults accompanying you to A&E. ? Especially with some really poorly older people have had to resort to sitting on the floor ? (And no one has volunteered their seat for them. )

I suspect its because the staff worry that these kinds of people will become aggressive if challenged.
But, I agree. A senior nurse can and should show some leadership and authority and manage the situation.

I agree. I think there are 3 issues here.

• of course, in an ideal world it shouldn't be necessary.
• the shift in attitudes over the last few decades has made any kind of judgement of behaviour unfashionable and the idea of authority having to be respected less acceptable. There's a generalised idea that it's cool to reject any kind of authority, so difficult people are often treated with kid gloves when they actually need a rocket administered to their backsides.
• All this feeds into managers being less willing to do the tough task of enforcing the standards of behaviour expected from service-users. It's hard - and maybe dangerous these days - but the job still needs to be done. So employ some seriously assertive people or bouncers who will actually bounce and not sit and doze off.

But it's massively due to cultural changes in society such as the 'you can't tell me what to do' attitude (to which the answer should be a firm 'I think you'll find I can!', with sanctions to follow) and to the lack of reminders about our duties and responsibilities as citizens. Loads and loads of information and propaganda about our rights...not so much about the other side of the coin.

I'm not optimistic about this changing any time soon.

Sadly the last time I was in a&e a nurse did ask some one very politely if they would move to let a patient sit , the reply was a full on punch to the face.
The person wasn't even there as a patient or support, he punched her as he wanted to sit there and watch tv. This was during covid when it was patients only.

Horrific. The poor woman, who will have already been putting herself at risk by working through covid and then she has to undergo that.

That's horrific. I hope the police were called and the patient removed.

Seriously - did this happen say, 50/60 years ago? Someone upthread questioned whether there ever was a time when people were more respectful. I'm pretty old but I don't remember hearing about incidents like this in my youth.

OK, this kind of person might punch a police officer (not suggesting that's OK) but a nurse who's there to help them? That's what I think has changed. And the attacks on ambulances and para-medics attending accidents and call-outs.

This madness could never have been predicted by the people who set up the NHS.

I was once in A&E and literally couldn't stand up. All the many large families taking up the seats couldn't give a shit, and I kept getting told by staff I wasn't allowed to sit on the floor against the wall. Eventually, after 3 hours, a security guard did get me a terrible flimsy folding chair. It was a very very long 18 hours.

I did make a complaint about it, copied into local MP, and they did make some changes on back of it. But there is very very rarely a need for 4 or 5 additional people to come with one person.

We have parents that have to have behaviour contracts because their behaviour is so abusive towards staff.

It's always happened. We just have way more access to information these days.

It's always happened. We just have way more access to information these days.

Then it's high time something was done about it! This is crazy.

Notices asking people to be respectful to staff are all very well, but what is needed is clearly a burly bouncer to enforce it. Some horrible men in particular only understand that language.

It would be money well-spent. I'm sure there are issues in other hospital departments but A & E is a special case.

It's always happened. We just have way more access to information these days.

Sorry - me again, but...

I just cannot get over this response. Surely people who got free healthcare in the early days of the NHS felt grateful? They'd had to pay before. Are you honestly saying that some patients, even then, would attack nurses and doctors? I just find it incredible. My grandparents were always reluctant to call out the doctor even in the 60s, because they 'didn't want to bother him' and also they'd previously had to pay, and that idea died hard.

I cannot believe that things haven't changed - it's clear from so many areas of the health service that public attitudes are very different from those days in terms of entitlement and disrespect (missing appointments casually etc).

What a load of selfish arseholes some people are. Stuffing their faces with smelly takeaways, bringing the whole family to an appointment. It’s because they can. They don’t care about anyone else and no one dare challenge them.

What has happened to us in the UK. Other countries don’t allow it?

What has happened to us in the UK. Other countries don’t allow it?

Exactly. Why are we allowing the most chaotic, the* *most stupid and selfish people to bring things down for the rest of us? It's partly because we are squeamish about saying what I've just said - we've been brainwashed into thinking we mustn't judge. This idea has done untold damage.

And partly, obvs, for the practical reasons of having to tackle these horrible specimens.

But those are not reasons just to ignore the problem.

Yanbu - last time I was in the minor injuries unit (so admittedly not actual A+E but still as busy, I was there 6 hours!!), there was a chair shortage and the receptionist had the common sense to ask all the people who weren't patients to give up their chairs for those who were. He got some grumbles but people mostly complied, and so they should!!

I’ve seen this - they come well prepared too with a picnic for everyone !!
Banter galore - not what you need ina. Rammed A and E 🥲
Hope it’s a speedy recovery

I would have out and out asked them for their seat

Let me guess, non-native uninvited unwanted guests to our once great country??

YANBU! I had to go to A&E recently with my friend (she’s a full time wheelchair user and needs support with things like using the loo etc, she is also like me autistic and needs emotional support- she asked me because of my nursing background so I’m a little bit better with hospitals than she is)

We were there all night and while we didn’t see anyone with KFC, there were several groups of people who seemed to be there for a jolly night out- one group was taking it in turns to charge their phones from a socket on the wall and getting hot drinks in a proper mug from somewhere (not the godawful coffee from the vending machine) My friend and I are both diabetic and yes we had snacks but we were careful to be considerate to others with them.

I also used to spend a lot of time in A&E, usually overnight, when I was nursing with our patients, and frankly I really don’t understand why anyone would want to go and sit there all night for no reason!!!

Yeah is odd but seems to be a thing. Have seen it with groups of friends too.

They stay there making a nuisance of themselves because we are all too scared to call it out. Who needs 3-4 carers with the patient who is often in full flow vocally.

Answer = NO ONE

Surely one take-away (no pun intended!) from Covid should be the enforcing of some kind of regulation on who can accompany a patient to A & E.

You've brought your extended family? Then all but one of them can go to the hospital cafeteria and you can keep them updated by WhatsApp.

What on earth would be wrong with this policy?

And this is why we say, 'hell is other people'.

YANBU!

I was in A&E a few weeks ago with my elderly Dad for 9 hours. In that time a family of 8 were waiting. There was Mum, Dad, (Guessing ages here), 10yr old, 13 yr old, 17 yrs old, Oldish Man, & 2 younger women about 30ish. They settled in & within the first hour had 4 other visitors that brought tupperware boxes of food & rice which they all shared. The most annoying thing was that Me & my Dad were starving & the food smelled so good.

My local A&E send family and friends out when there are not enough seats for the actual patient and they don't allow food deliveries or for you to bring hot food in. DH and I are regulars!!

It would be in breach of the Equality Act, for failing to make a reasonable adjustment for those people, with a medical need to eat! If it were me, I’d also say

”You know I could end up in resus, if I don’t get to eat; and I’ll hold you personally responsible.”

If that did happen, I would be making a complaint about them to the NMC or GMC as appropriate. We are regulars too, and have made formal complaints twice about staff in our A & E, for being in breach of the Equality Act - partly for not letting both of us in with DD.

The hospital can provide food for patients, they did whist I was in A&E for 7 hours, not for family and friends though.