Bringing your whole fucking family to A&E

[changedlife]

Waiting to be seen at A&E. sent here by GP because DH has had an adverse blood result that needs to be dealt with.

A&E packed as usual. To be expected. However one family is here with one woman. There are 5 grown adults with the patient who is in her 30s... I don't know her issue but laughing a joking with the family. Just to add to the joy their phones go off constantly whereupon they give a blow by blow run down of her current medical state (she's hurt her foot it seems - from the latest phone update. )

DH is disabled. There is nowhere to sit In A&E. Foot-family are settled in and have actually just had a KFC delivery. I swear it's like an evening out for them.

DH can't stand. So have sent him back to wait in the car - which as he has a blue badge - is quite close. I'll call him when his turn comes. As I can stand.. However .. AIBU to think you don't need FIVE adults accompanying you to A&E. ? Especially with some really poorly older people have had to resort to sitting on the floor ? (And no one has volunteered their seat for them. )

Yes.

Judgement shouldnt be a dirty word. Or dirty thing

Exactly. Shitty behaviour needs to be judged.

When my Mum was on a ward, she had to use a commode. I overheard the health care assistant joking with her colleague about the vile smell, my poor Mum also heard and was mortified. I tore a strip off the HCA and hunted down the ward Sister who was just a waste of space. Both HCAs denied saying anything, so it was my word against their word. I took it up with PALs who couldn't have been less helpful and made the HCA out to be the victim of my unreasonable behaviour.

The non judgementalism is only supposed to work one way though, from whoever is providing the service to whoever is recieving it.

If indeed this:
'Do you want to be treated in this hospital, or not? If we hear any more abusive remarks you will be asked to leave'
Was said to anyone is receipt of any service by someone delivering it, there'd be uproar and the service provider would be told to be more 'professional' and people wittering on about 'denying vulnerable people care'. Effectively punishing people for being abused and not being willing to put up with it.

And we wonder why no one wants to deliver the services we want and need in society.

YANBU, saw this myself recently.. it's always certain types of people too.

I had a scan a few years ago and my mum came in with me. (Because I don't drive) She was asked to wait outside. Can't understand why the receptionists at A&E don't send families away

Every hospital letter I've had tells me to only bring someone if necessary and they may ask you to wait outside.

Kind of wish I'd thought of that when I was stuck in A&E for 9 hours. Vending machine was completely empty. The next time I had to go to A&E I packed a lot of snacks.

Surprised they were all allowed to stay though, the second time mentioned above I had a head injury, they let DH and DS in with me but were very clear that it was only temporary until my DM arrived as only one person was allowed to accompany the patient.

Relatives can eat elsewhere than on the unit or Ward, and the diabetic and other waiting patients can eat one of the very many foods that do not smell and are much cheaper than a hot fast food delivery. No one is saying patients and visitors should be nil-by-mouth.

Shame on the security guard OP, crowd control is his job. People will pretend not to notice the signs about chairs being for patients only. There was a shared waiting room for the ultrasound dept and the antenatal day assessment unit. For the last few weeks of a pregnancy I was there twice a week for bloods and monitoring. I used to go alone as DH was keeping his annual leave for after the baby arrived. Several times I ended up being sat on the floor as I would get dizzy standing.Whole families waiting for scans wouldn't offer a seat, I looked very obviously 9 months pregnant. I then had to do an awkward roll onto my hands and knees to try to get up.

People that treat it like a day out are repulsive. When DS was rushed into A&E ( I was told to drive straight there as an ambulance would take too long) his GP had called ahead and we were whisked straight through. I could hear a family loudly discussing what they thought was wrong with him to allow us to queue jump. They then all gawped as he was later being wheeled up to a ward in the bed.

Relatives can eat elsewhere than on the unit or Ward, and the diabetic and other waiting patients can eat one of the very many foods that do not smell and are much cheaper than a hot fast food delivery.

Like what? Our hospital is in the middle of a residential area. Once the hospital restaurant and cafe have run out of food, what can patients get to eat in A & E, without driving off somewhere and risk losing their place in the queue to see the doctor; or ordering a takeaway delivery?

And we wonder why no one wants to deliver the services we want and need in society.

Agree @Notfeelingtiptop

Teachers and health professionals are really at the sharp end in the decline in standards of behaviour in society. The police too, but they are probably more resigned to it!

Professional people working under pressure, trying to deliver a (free at the point of use) service, should be actively supported and there definitely should be RULES.

I was in A&E overnight with OH four weeks ago (weekday, not weekend). It was quite an experience.

We arrived - by ambulance - at about 8.30. At that point there were still seats available in our smallish waiting area, but they were filling up, and each time a patient went off for a test we would shuffle around to let them sit with their partner when they returned.

Later on, there were clearly not enough chairs for both patients and whoever was with them, but luckily most of us were more than happy to stand so that those in need could sit.

There was one family that was so jolly that it was hard to work out who was actually the patient. They didn't send out for a takeaway though - a couple of them popped out instead and came back with fish and chips. They were coming and going non-stop for one reason or another. Fortunately they had left before things got really busy.

OH was later moved to a cubicle for the night, and at his request, I stayed with him. We could still hear some of the more troubled would-be patients (who appeared to have either mental health or drug-related issues, possibly both) shouting and causing problems all night long, and I had to request help for one of them on two separate occasions when I visited the toilets and found them lying on the floor in there.

The poor staff were under constant pressure from all sides.
I think they all, both medical and non-medical, deserve a bloody medal for what they have to put up with while trying to dotheir job.

I completely agree.

Fgs! We are so privileged to get health and education free at the point of use in this country. Do we take it for granted? Yes, I think we do now - and people need to be reminded of their responsibilities as citizens, not just their rights.

I've been told that no-one should feel grateful for any of these things. Why not? Because they're 'rights', apparently. But they don't happen by accident for magic. They happen because a lot of people work very hard to create and sustain them. (Personally I even feel grateful that clean and hot water comes out of my taps - but I've learned I'm in the minority in that.)

Having worked in education most of my life, I've seen a massive change in both the general behavioural standards of adults (never mind children) and also the falling-away of respect for professional people providing services for them.

It's not going to end well - no wonder we need to recruit these crucial professionals from overseas - who will sign up as things deteriorate to be treated with such contempt after studying hard for their role?

But the main priority in hospitals should be the patient - at all times. Not the patient's extended family. They should be 'bounced off' to the cafe, at the very least.

We could still hear some of the more troubled would-be patients (who appeared to have either mental health or drug-related issues, possibly both) shouting and causing problems all night long, and I had to request help for one of them on two separate occasions when I visited the toilets and found them lying on the floor in there.

Oh no - that's 'Third World' stuff. Whatever their issues, those people should not have been allowed to hang around in the toilets. Horrible.

I don't know what the answer is, but of course, if A & E Depts are unregulated then they will attract a lot of people with chronic MH and other problems - and those aren't for A & E to deal with - the clue's in the name. I don't think they should be allowed to clog up an acute, emergency service, even if that seems harsh. Some kind of out-of-hours GP service is more suitable - perhaps adjacent to A & E, where they can sit and wait.

Unpopular opinion but I'm in urgent care right now and the only ones laughing and joking are the elderly who are all loving it, the rest of us are all sat here in pain/unwell.

There’s obviously anA&E waiting time problem when people have to order in a meal.

I haven't read the whole thread, but some hospitals do have fast food outlets in the building. Our local University Hospital has a Subway, a Costa and a M and S cafe selling hot food. Patients and their carers often spend hours in outpatients or waiting to be seen in A and E, and need to eat, and the hospital can't provide food for them.

I think I have even seen a McDonalds franchise in a hospital; not sure where; certainly they have this in the US.

I remember going at getting DS, then about 14, something to eat after his day case surgery ended in an unexpected overnight stay, though I can't remember whether that was from the hosital canteen or Subway etc. I can see there's a need.

"and people need to be reminded of their responsibilities as citizens, not just their rights.

I've been told that no-one should feel grateful for any of these things. Why not? Because they're 'rights', apparently."

I think this is the root cause of the problem. People have been blinded to the fact that in order for a society to work, cooperation is needed by the vast majority and when the responsibility of being part of a society is ignored, and there's no cooperation, everything starts to breaks down. Being part of a society means you have rights, and should expect them to be upheld by others meeting their responsibilities, but you also have responsibilities to meet as part of that society, so that others rights are also observed.

I think people balk at the idea of gratitude because they imagine it as never being able to say something is wrong, being grovellingly grateful for anything, however small, and somehow losing face, a feeling of resentment by admitting that we need the cooperation of those who 'serve' society in order for it to function.

So many people now demanding the benefits of a cohesive society, but not understanding that only works when the majority of that society do their bit to keep it going.

I think I have even seen a McDonalds franchise in a hospital; not sure where; certainly they have this in the US.

We haven’t been to Addenbrookes for a long time; but the last time we went there, they had a food court with about 4 fast food outlets. We went off it, after DD got food poisoning there.

To be fair to them, two of those that I refer to, including the one who I twice found lying on the floor in the toilets, did seem sick, so I'm not going to suggest that they shouldn't have been in A&E. Their reasons for being there that night might have been just as valid than ours.

The trouble is, their other issues mean that they became distressed and disruptive when not being attended to by the medical staff, which was most of the time, as different tests were done by different staff, and there were long waits between each - for example, in my OHs case, for a suspected heart attack ( later confirmed), there was an average wait of 1.5 hours wait before the first test and then between the several following tests.

I dont know what the answer is in such cases, as there is no way that a member of staff can stay with them all the time.

Yeah. Chavs.

DH used to do a rotation at the Southern in Liverpool. There was a barn door type of entrance with a policeman behind it to triage . He still was needed as a checker out. no one on duty left a car there as it would be on bricks when you came back. This was in the 60s.

This is terrible.
The last time I was at A&E it was packed and the nurses were fabulous, regularly telling anyone that was not a patient to stand and give their chair to someone that was.
So many people pretended not to understand or hear, but soon got the message when the nurse insisted.

I am very fortunate that I have only had to go to A&E on four occasions. Each time I have been so frightened and worried about the person I had taken there that ordering in a take-away would have been the last thing on my mind.

A family member when he was a junior doctor told the worst of them if they swore at him he would not treat them. This was a while ago sure would not be allowed now. It worked though.

At the first sign of aggression or rudeness these ignorant fuckers should be ejected from A&E. They'd soon learn, even bloody pigeons can learn basic Actions Vs Consequences.

These people need to be taught respect and gratitude for the training, expertise and commitment of the doctors and nurses who treat them.