Bringing your whole fucking family to A&E

[changedlife]

Waiting to be seen at A&E. sent here by GP because DH has had an adverse blood result that needs to be dealt with.

A&E packed as usual. To be expected. However one family is here with one woman. There are 5 grown adults with the patient who is in her 30s... I don't know her issue but laughing a joking with the family. Just to add to the joy their phones go off constantly whereupon they give a blow by blow run down of her current medical state (she's hurt her foot it seems - from the latest phone update. )

DH is disabled. There is nowhere to sit In A&E. Foot-family are settled in and have actually just had a KFC delivery. I swear it's like an evening out for them.

DH can't stand. So have sent him back to wait in the car - which as he has a blue badge - is quite close. I'll call him when his turn comes. As I can stand.. However .. AIBU to think you don't need FIVE adults accompanying you to A&E. ? Especially with some really poorly older people have had to resort to sitting on the floor ? (And no one has volunteered their seat for them. )

Says who?

You asked if she should have, I said in my view she should have yes

She wasnt being gatekept from NHS services, she wasnt there to access them was she

And I already said, if someone needs someone there, that is ok

Classism and racism, nice throw in there.

I think it’s pretty clear which side of the fence you are on.

The problem is, that if no one ‘gate keeps access to the NHS’ it will soon become the preserve only of those who can’t/ won’t pay for it. We all know what will happen to it then…..

Actually this can be sign of an oncoming or even ongoing seizure. It would certainly have sounded mad to you - I get that but don't make assumptions. She may well have been told to come in if she felt certain things.

Temporal lobe seizures

How are you qualified to decide how many carers, there need to be?

Staff are unlikely to proactively raise this as an issue (human natural inclination to avoid conflict) even if they are aware of it as an issue. But if you raise it they will have to deal with it. Be proactive.

@Allthegoodnamesarechosen I sit on the side of people being able to access a&e and not being afraid to go?

In the summer we were with my dad who was having chest pain. All of us had been advised to come as they thought he was dying when they took him in in the ambulance. We were booted out into the waiting room while they did a procedure, and we were one of those families laughing and eating. (Not loudly, but still.)

Because none of us had eaten all day and we were so stressed and emotionally exhausted that it was easier to have a laugh for five minutes than to sit there and think about our dad dying. We'd have been one of those families getting vitriol on here.

It’s pretty simple. One person to accompany, everyone else has to go wait in the canteen or elsewhere. People eating in a waiting area is unhygienic and should be done away from other people and the appropriate place. It’s not a social event.

A lot of hospitals now have effective holding areas to keep away the packs of attendees. But given the balance on this thread it seems that vast majority think people like this are just a nuisance and get in the way of the business of the hospital

The only time when more than one adult (a max of two) needs to attend A&E with the sick/injured person is when the sick or injured is physically disabled or has extreme mental disabilities and needs two to calm them down after having meltdowns etc.

The reception team and security guard should have asked the extra people in KFC gang to leave.

Problem is its a me me me society. Before covid, my friend did injure her ankle (not broken) but needed crutches. I went on the bus with her for a follow up appt at hospital (parking is a joke the best of times). No seats were available on the bottom deck. Not one gave up their seat until I shouted "could someone who is more mobile than my friend with crutches please give up their seat for her" or something similar.

On the few times I go on the bus, why is it ALWAYS ME that gives up their seat to people who have mobility issues?

I blame the a&e department. I've said this myself when I've been there, it's like a day out for some. At point of check in, they should be told they can only have 1 adult with them and everyone else needs to leave. They also need to keep checking on the waiting room to ensure no one has crept in, or have a lockable door you pass through to prevent hanger ons from coming in. Those that need the seats at present are left stood up, it's ridiculous. It really pisses me off when you see full families in there, I have to bite my tongue at there selfishness and inconsideration!

I don't know where you are but where I live (Belgium) the extended family would be asked to wait elsewhere and only one person (maybe two if parents of a child) to accompany the patient. No way whatsoever the whole clan would get seating in A&E. Also the ordering of food is absolutely unheard of here. You might fill a cup of water at the dispenser, maybe eat a small snack from the vendingmachine if your situation allows it.

While my OH was in a waiting area in A&E, before and between the numerous tests for his chest pains, there were no medical staff in view most of the time, so it was a huge relief to him to know that I would be able rush out and seek help if it was suddenly needed urgently, or just to fetch him water to drink, things like that.

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect one person to be allowed to accompany you through the long wait. If it helps the patient to stay calm, it has to be a positive thing health-wise. The family parties should be stamped out though!

Yanbu at all! Sounds like a jolly outing for a family which can't do anything unless together. Not on at all, it's a place to wait for treatment and anyone with a brain should realise this, you don't sit around joking, also there is little space, common sense. I've come across this as well, whole bunch of kids taking up seats, constantly eating and on phones, loud, no observation of around them or just don't care.

You are well within your right to complain and I'm sure the staff will agree with you. Just a reminder this is a hospital, be mindful of patients needing seats, tje smell of takeaways isn't pleasant for those waiting. I do despair of people like this, so rude and selfish. Xx

They should be more alert and step in to prevent this kind of situation 🙄

We went to London on the summer with my mum, she’s in her 70s and had a knee replacement last year so struggles to stand on the tube although wasn’t on crutches. I found that it was quite rare for someone to give up their seat voluntarily even if sitting in the mobility seats, but every single person I did ask politely “would you mind if my mum sat there as she’s got a bad knee”, got up and let her sit down. At one time I would have been worried about asking young 20 year old somethings in case I got a mouthful back but to be fair they all moved when asked. I think the issue is everyone is waiting for someone else to move first

Agree. Young men in health should be standing up first for those in need and the elderly. Its a basic politeness that few people have or think important. My son would stand up first and also help with pushchairs, bags, hold doors etc . I’ve raised him to think of this. Respect and helpfulness.

It's not just A&E where this happens. This happens all the time in my oncology clinic, huge families treating it as a 'day out'.

But for cancer patients it's not just noise and their take-away food. It's the infection risk from extended families with coughs and colds.

The qualified nurses stand around chatting amongst themselves - 4 of them for 55 minutes at my last appt. when waiting for my blood tests.

The reception staff say nothing. It would be quite easy to allow only (say) one family member into the waiting area.

The only decent staff, who are rushed off their feet, are the poor phlebotomist (left on her own for ALL patients) and the consultant.

The reception staff need re-training, the nursing staff re-deploying, the consultant needs a junior to help, and the phlebotomist a medal!

Sitting in my oncology clinic appointment for 2-3 hours tells you everything that's wrong about the NHS at the moment.

I broke my wrist recently and have attended fracture clinic several times.
Whole families turning up just for one patient including children in prams.

Absolutely, my dad recently definitely needed me during the long wait for a bed (28 hrs) and most people had 1 person with them, they definitely needed them. And we helped out the people who didn't have anyone. Drinks, getting to toilet, getting staff attention etc
Even just us though felt like we were intruding on peoples pain and worst time in their lives. But we were respectful
Whole families coming is ridiculous and unnecessary, it's like a day out usually for the jobless

Absolutely extraordinary that it’s allowed in oncology, with immuno-compromised patients.
Isn’t it strange that it was possible for everything to be so authoritarian and strict during the pandemic, even when this made it extremely difficult for everyone, and yet a tiny bit of strictness can’t be managed in situations where it should be a no brainer?

Yep. My local hospital makes its gynae oncology clinic share a waiting room with its maternity unit. The emotional impacts of that are fairly obvious, but add in mixing immuno-compromised people and babies and toddlers and it leads to the conclusion that whoever made the decision to share the space is sociopathic!

Itwasnevermine
Says who? You can't gatekeep people from NHS services. Yes what happened to OP is bad but the classism and racism on display on this thread has been horrendous.

O course the NHS needs 'gatekeepers'. It's not a bottomless pit of money and resources. One issue being discussed on this thread is how to keep superfluous people who are not patients from clogging up the system and putting other actual patients at risk - as well as making life difficult for the doctors and nurses. Selfish, stupid, inconsiderate people as described in many comments above.

If you have seen racism on this thread, please report it.

Absolutely. And then you get some posters saying it's not the responsibility of A&E reception and security staff to maintain good order there. 🤔

Why aren't A&E staff ensuring that actual patients can sit?

^This, exactly.

I suspect its because the staff worry that these kinds of people will become aggressive if challenged.

But, I agree. A senior nurse can and should show some leadership and authority and manage the situation.

However, in my clinic at least, they don't. The problem is, I think, the culture and leadership of this particular hospital.

This is a very large city hospital in NW England. Pictures of the managers adorn the walls, which speaks volumes about the culture.