Risking a flaming but jealous of those on weight loss injections

[Notmyfinesthours]

I’ve specifically not put this in the weight loss section as I’d rather hear from those who aren’t dieting or thinking about it. Might help me find perspective better.

I am not overweight. I never have been.
I have however had what feels like a lifetime of making sure this is the case.

I suspect many women feel like me. Brought up to fear being fat or greedy or ‘let myself go’ as if it were the worst sin.

Ive skirted close to or actually been in the midst of orthorexia for most of my adult life. Always saying no to pudding, finding the latest food that will fill me up but not have too many calories and fixating on it before I find the next one. Exercising most days, fitting it in by missing lie ins or nights in front of the fire.

Fretting in pregnancy, menopause and any ill health leading to immobility that it might trigger weight gain.

you get the picture? Self flagellation is big driven by an instilled fear of being fat given to many in my generation (I’m 58) (and yes I know I should address this first- I am trying but the media doesn’t help)

Several of my friends and family are big eaters, always seem to have the toastie and cake when we are out and by their own admissions do little exercise. They have often jokingly talked about being slimmer but say they like food too much and ‘have no willpower’ and can’t be bothered to deny themselves for the sake of a few dress sizes.

I know it’s more complex than that but they basically enjoy life in the way it should be enjoyed to my mind and accept they will be a bit larger bodied. I’ve actually always really admired this as an attitude or at least been a bit jealous of it.

But with the new weight loss injections several of them have dropped weight significantly and are so slim and delighted.

I just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection.

I know it’s more complicated, I know it costs them money, might have risks etc but it’s clear so many celebs are doing the same and it feels like it’s not going to be more commonplace.

Why is this making me feel cheated and am I just an awful person?

So pleased to hear this - I’ve half a stone to go to get to a BMI of 25 (ok 24.9), and had been advised to go for a BMI between 23-24, but was initially a little fearful of the saggy boobs and loose skin that I’ve so far managed to avoid. DH is very happy that I can still fill my bra 🤣... I may now consider an extra 10lbs/aiming for BMI 24ish now - but I’ve been on this journey for 15m, with a few plateaus, so am not sure I have the stamina. I’m really happy with being a size 10 and maintaining with sensible eating, long dog walks and a few sociable sessions at the gym with girlfriends.

You’ve hit on something there.

Honestly, the inference that overweight people are incapable of making sustainable changes to their eating and exercise habits and are destined to be fat forever is very tiresome. Also the idea that those on jabs are just sat on the sofa eating takeaways and family size bags of crisps whilst the fat melts from them rather than making healthy changes is laughable.

@OldScribbler maintenance doses…

Good for you!

Yes Im the complete opposite to you, Ive lost 10 stone but look like a flesh coloured waterfall. Im quite fascinated by it to be honest. No one would tell, I dress very well, you cant see it but in the bath I look like an environmental disaster!

I have never had elastic skin, very thin with stretch marks from a young age, like you say, its just genetics and your skin and body type. My loss took a fairly long time (for WLS) too, so not really quick loss.

And I meant to say this (cant remember if its this thread or another, they all meld into one in my head) someone posted about 'sacrifices' in relation to people who lose weight by surgery (I know this is off at a tangent), and yet when I detail all the things that are meant by that, they are lifestyle changes, a life overhaul if you like

So its interesting how people frame it negatively for either meds or WLS, as a 'sacrifice' but if you do it without those methods, its a lifestyle change.

Funny how people see things.

.

I get where you’re coming from but, where you think I’ve had to endure careful eating all my life to be where I am, your mates are thinking you have great self control where food is concerned and they probably wonder why you don’t have the cake as you can afford to without worry of putting weight on.
now from their view point, their little quips while eating the cake is because they know they shouldn’t be eating it, it’s awful because you know you need to lose weight and no matter what you try it’s not working, so you eat the cake to make you feel better, then you feel sh#te! It’s like running in circles and then one day someone comes along with something to control it all, and by god you’re gonna take it and run with it!
we all might be back to square one 2 years down the line and you’ll still be the skinny minny who has to put them back together. Hold that thought of jealousy, and just enjoy this time with your skinny friends.

I am not saying I ran a weight loss business. I am simply telling you what all legitimate studies show. Which is that if it sounds too good to be true, it is.

I understand this, I really do. Your honest account of this makes sense.

I guess it's a bit like saving up your pennies painstakingly and then watching someone who was always careless with money get a windfall.

It just doesn't fit with our sense of natural justice.

And that's where actually it's wrong if you look under the surface. Because I speak as someone who has been judged for years by everyone for being fat. Before that it was for being a smoker. Before that a drinker.

Here's the thing. I'm a really sensible, dorky woman at heart. I was such a goody goody at school. But I have some kind of natural dopamine deficit. It makes me addicted to things very easily.

First I had to give up alcohol because I just couldn't moderate my intake. I also spent twenty years giving up smoking at least twice a year then starting again in a cycle of despair. When I finally gave up smoking, I spent a decade piling on weight and then extreme dieting on VLCDs, then back up again.

The difference between me and your friends is probably simply that I mix with judgy middle class people who will look down on me for being a fat/smoker/drinker. That has "forced" me to go to unhealthy, extreme lengths to try to fit in. If I was working class I reckon I'd have just settled for being a fat smoking alcoholic. 🤣 Or something like that.

I have lost weight on mounjaro. It's miserable. I am always nauseous, or worse, actually sick plus diarrhoea. I've never had anything so severe, I have felt so ill. I'm weak and achy a lot of the time.

It's costing me a fortune for the privilege.

I wouldn't admit this externally. I'd put on a brave face.

I am slimmer, and people have complimented me on this. I just feel sick. But it's unacceptable to be fat in our society, and fat people are demonised and demeaned. We are "less than".

So it's not reasonable to fat people to be damned if we do, damned if we don't. But I get how it must feel to have struggled to do it the hard way only to see people finding ut easy.

@OldScribbler
80-95% of ‘traditional’ dieters regain all the the weight they lose within 12 months of completing a diet (depending on the research you look at). The attached every recent study of more than 20,000 semaglutide (ozempic/wegovy) users showed that less than 20% of them had regained all their weight and moreover that 56% of them kept between 75-100% of the weight off.

www.epicresearch.org/articles/many-patients-maintain-weight-loss-a-year-after-stopping-semaglutide-and-liraglutide

@anon666 is your current dose of Mounjaro too high if you are constantly nauseous or actually being sick, with diarrhoea all the time too?

But why would you pose that in a way to reassure and make the Op feel better? If you are just citing studies? When mention previous work if you are just citing studies?

You basically said ‘don’t worry, soon enough they will be fat again, their health will be at risk and you can feel better again’

If Op is made to feel better by that she is a pretty awful friend.

There was an article with women in US charting their struggles with weight loss injections. Some have had horrendous side effects. Also you can't stay on it forever.i guess the idea is to help you shed the excess then stay at a reasonable weight. Like most of us I could drop few pounds , I think you have done well though. Surely an occasional treat would be OK though.i would not be envious of those on jabs. After an OP this year I had to inject my tum .Really not nice! Your overall health will.be better overall.plus the costs are very high as well

It's just the truth, which takes no sides, nice or nasty. i live with someone who struggles with weight. I know how it feels for her - an incessant struggle. My feelings for her are not affected.

It’s been life changing for me. I have saved a fortune in food, eating out and lunches. I eat once a day and feel absolutely great! I have gained hours a day to use productively rather than cooking and eating. I have my confidence back as I have lost so much weight. I look younger and fitter and could not be happier with my decision.

I have not had a single side effect, maybe I am lucky. The only one I notice is that I never fancy a glsss of wine anymore, which is s benefit in my book.

It’s a new start for me, and one of my best decisions to take the plunge. I am happy to take them for life. The money I am saving more than covers it.

I stuck with 7.5 and maybe that’s the key. I have lost weight slowly and steadily with no side effects.

Nearly 4 stone loss for me and no lose skin. I’ve been told I look 10 years younger and my skin is looking really good!

Yes me too- I’ve lost it very slowly and make sure I eat 1450 calories a day

Tbh op, true friends want the very best for each other. That’s my view. I want my friends to live long and healthy lives, so happy for them to find healthy ways to do just that.

I agree @Savingthehedgehogs if you’re feeling negatively about others getting access to weight loss injections, then you need to address something deeper inside yourself as you have issues with your self esteem and external validation. You will never be truly happy if your happiness is dependent on comparing yourself to others.

I’ve embarked on this journey to become healthier due to the cancer diagnosis of loved ones this year. I’m not in competition with anyone else- I’m doing it for myself.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. I'm sure many older people who have scrimped and saved all their lives for retirement feel similarly when others who were more frivolous with their money get free care home places and they have to pay.

I think it might help to see the healthy eating and exercise differently. If you see the exercise as something you have been doing to support your mental and physical health rather than just to keep weight off, it is easier to see that the benefits can't be replaced by an injection. You have had those health benefits for all those years, the others haven't. I hope that helps you feel better.

And I’m sure there are many younger people who have worked hard, climbed the career ladder, saved for a deposit etc and then seen their peers gifted £££ to buy their first house. But that’s life, isn’t it? Some people have to work hard for stuff, others don’t.
I agree with the posters above who say that usually people are happy for their friends when they have good fortune. As I said above, my best friend is currently using the injections and I’m honestly delighted to see her so happy and healthy. I lost 3 stone a few years ago with diet and exercise, but I’m not bitter or jealous… maybe if I’d had the chance to use the meds I’d have done so too 🤷🏻‍♀️. Comparing your journey through life to other people’s is guaranteed to cause misery.

I get you OP!
I have also have decades of restricting my diet and not eating that doughnut that I really, really want and basiclly being hungry. I feel like all those years I could have eaten much more freely, not lived with hunger and just taken the jab now I'm older.

But you’d have spent all those intervening years overweight. Which you obviously didn’t want, as you restricted calories to avoid it.

And I feel like I've been a fool to do so.

So you’re saying you’d have been happy to spend the past 20-30 years (or whatever you’ve been restricting calories for) fat, as long as you could reverse it when you were older?