Risking a flaming but jealous of those on weight loss injections

[Notmyfinesthours]

I’ve specifically not put this in the weight loss section as I’d rather hear from those who aren’t dieting or thinking about it. Might help me find perspective better.

I am not overweight. I never have been.
I have however had what feels like a lifetime of making sure this is the case.

I suspect many women feel like me. Brought up to fear being fat or greedy or ‘let myself go’ as if it were the worst sin.

Ive skirted close to or actually been in the midst of orthorexia for most of my adult life. Always saying no to pudding, finding the latest food that will fill me up but not have too many calories and fixating on it before I find the next one. Exercising most days, fitting it in by missing lie ins or nights in front of the fire.

Fretting in pregnancy, menopause and any ill health leading to immobility that it might trigger weight gain.

you get the picture? Self flagellation is big driven by an instilled fear of being fat given to many in my generation (I’m 58) (and yes I know I should address this first- I am trying but the media doesn’t help)

Several of my friends and family are big eaters, always seem to have the toastie and cake when we are out and by their own admissions do little exercise. They have often jokingly talked about being slimmer but say they like food too much and ‘have no willpower’ and can’t be bothered to deny themselves for the sake of a few dress sizes.

I know it’s more complex than that but they basically enjoy life in the way it should be enjoyed to my mind and accept they will be a bit larger bodied. I’ve actually always really admired this as an attitude or at least been a bit jealous of it.

But with the new weight loss injections several of them have dropped weight significantly and are so slim and delighted.

I just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection.

I know it’s more complicated, I know it costs them money, might have risks etc but it’s clear so many celebs are doing the same and it feels like it’s not going to be more commonplace.

Why is this making me feel cheated and am I just an awful person?

@Kendodd did you tell people that you stayed slim by being hungry most of the time?

I have spent my adult life struggling to stay in a healthy BMI and I've often asked slim friends how they stayed slim and not one of them said it was by being hungry most of the time. They all said that it was fortunate genes, or they did a lot of exercise, or they just never gained weight, or they didn't like fatty food. Not once did anyone ever say that they went without, made a real effort and it was hard work and constant denial.

So, either I have the luckiest of friends, or many of them have been fibbing a bit. It seems from this thread and other similar ones that there are lots of really resentful slim people out there, who wish they hadn't denied themselves and had chubbed up, so they could now take injections to slim down too.

It's really weird to wish you'd spent your younger adult days being fat and unhappy just so you could take a drug now that makes it possible for you to restrict your food enough to lose 20 years worth of weight and then maybe have to take that drug long term to keep the weight off, all at a cost of £150pm that you don't need to spend right now.

I mean. That's actually blown my mind that someone would wish two decades of misery on themselves only to have the chance to spend money to undo the damage a little bit now they are older. 😬

Crazy!

This was the point I was getting at too! It makes no sense.
Ive been on both sides of the coin so to speak. I spent my 20s and 30s slim. I ate well and exercised because being slim was important to me.
Then a few things happened which led to me piling on the weight. I was absolutely miserable being fat. It affected my confidence and my life. My friends would never have known this, as I was ashamed of the state I’d let myself get into and I put a brave face on it all. After about 6 years of being very overweight I pulled myself together enough to lose it, and have maintained that for about 3 years. I’m now back to careful calorie counting and exercise to maintain the weight.
I absolutely wasn’t happier ‘saying yes to the doughnuts’, and I can’t imagine thinking ‘ah I would have just been fat and miserable for my whole adult life then spent a load of cash on injections to lose it if I’d known they were going to be available’. It’s nonsensical.

It's ridiculous isn't it? It's the female tightrope, you should be slim but still 'fun' and love chocolate, not boring and constantly denying yourself, so dieting or watching what you eat makes you dull, so we don't say we're dieting or being careful.

We should make it all look easy and effortless because how sad would it be to care about what you look like so much you can't have fun.

Same as dressing to be attractive but don't be a tease...and don't be a slag. Can't bloody win.

It is @ThinkAboutItTomorrow . I have to say after 40+ years of struggle my mind is slightly blown. I have never been aware of the simmering resentment that was beneath the surface for some slim people. I'm not saying all, as that clearly isn't the case, but it is definitely more than just one or two!!!!

Yes.
A relative of mine died recently (not weight related) she was about the same age as me, so not old. She had spent her whole adult life overweight, not massively, just about a size 16/18. Her weight didn’t restrict her life at all, there was nothing she couldn’t do because of it, well, the only thing, she didn’t wear a bikini at the beach (her choice) she wore a swimming costume instead. I know she would have like to be slimmer. She ate a lot more than me though, didn’t deny herself a biscuit or KFC etc. I’m now glad that she had all those tiny little pleasures in life that I haven’t had rather life under a cloud of hunger like I have. Her death has made me reflect on my own life choices regarding food. No one could have predicted weight loss jabs would have come along but if my relative had lived, I expect she would have taken them, she would have got down to the weight she aways wanted without nearly as much pain.

So @Kendodd did you tell your friend how hard it was for you all those years to stay slim? Will you change your ways now and starting eating KFC, biscuits etc and then in a few years take weightloss medication?

This is really disturbing. That someone would wish they’d spent decades fat. So they could then spend considerable time and money, effort, reversing it with medication. I don’t think I’ve ever read something so very odd.

Oh, and my relative wasn't miserable, she had a happy life. She wasn't happy about being overweight, wished she was slimer, but it in no way dominated her life the way some are suggesting.

Your friends were most probably fibbing.
They kept their weight down by restricting food.
Now the injections are here and the playing field is now level slim women are coming out of the woodwork and whining because all the fatties are slim too
Weight loss is an emotive subject . There are some little known celebrities who have been around for years but only seem to get public attention when they lose a lot of weight .
I am actually shocked at the number of people on this thread who are upset because strangers are taking an injection. It really is mind boggling

Having experienced both sides of this, I am certainly happier eating healthily and exercising than I was when I was overweight and eating what I wanted. You don’t know how you would feel being overweight unless you were in that situation. So feeling ‘a fool’ for doing what you felt was the right thing at the time is a wasted emotion.
And my friends and family would have said that being overweight didn’t bother me too, but it did. A lot.
I’m sorry for the loss of your relative.

Honestly, I just can't quite get my head around your thought processes @Kendodd . I've known a fair few relatives and friends die and of those that weren't slim, I have never ever reflected that I was glad that at least they'd enjoyed the pleasures of KFC or doughnuts. It just never entered my mind.

What about crack and fags?

Why dont you take those up and then just get help and patches to come off them later, live a little why dont you!

All of those things can be true AND they're still having to work hard to stay slim. I think it's hard to be slim in today's society, where we drive everywhere and most (?) people work behind desks, and the sort of food we eat has clearly had an impact on the nation's weight. I have good genes (all slim in my family) and don't like fatty foods or fast food and go to the gym four times a week and do a decent long dog walk every day but STILL have to deny myself or I'd naturally be about two sizes heavier.

These threads always end up with everyone at everyone else's throats so I am slightly reluctant to stick my oar in, but show me a woman who doesn't have some sort of issue around food/weight and I will show you a liar! I don't know any who don't think/worry about it far more than we should.

I’m shocked as well. I suspect there has been a sense of superiority in remaining slim v fat people for many . And now they will lose that perceived advantage and resent it.

im quite horrified there were women walking amongst us feeling like this, feeling they were better, pitying overweight people. Thinking they were more attractive, superior, had an advantage Thats utterly heinous.

however I also think there is overweight women who resent slimmer women. I see mean comments on here, about competitive under eating, when it’s clearly normal consumption. Comments on humble brags, snipey put downs.

I simply can’t comprehend why some women are like this. I’ve been both ends of the weight spectrum and at ni stage was I comparing myself to other women and being cunty about it.

@Kendodd at least now you know you can go and eat what you want for the next 10 years then spend a load of money reversing it with weight loss injections, if you genuinely think that will make you happy!

I guess my point is @AnonymousBleep that they never said the working hard bit. And I'm wondering why that is. I guess it goes to the heart of the original point made by the OP about being jealous of those on weight loss injections and the recent poster's comments about being glad that her larger friend had enjoyed KFC etc while she was alive. I am still in disbelief tbh.

I'm not sure why - it seems to be a myth that some people maintain. I know some very slim women and I know they all work VERY hard for it. Of course, you do get naturally slim people, who actually can eat what they want and never put on weight, but they are usually under 18 and/or really sporty and/or not cursed with the good old Anglo-Saxon build and metabolism!

Yes, I know.
Iife is too short to alway say no to the doughnut you really want.
I should add, I feel no resentment towards people who have eaten what they want some of the time, as I said, I'm glad my relative had all those little treats. And I'm glad she could have then lost weight with the jabs.
It a question of what adds up to the happier life.
Live a couple of stone overweight but largely, eat what you want.
Live slim, but constantly deny yourself the little bit of joy food brings.
I'm not natually slim, it's hard work every single day. I had the pain of food denial, she had the pain of being overweight. We were very close and I know she had a happy life so I think painting all overweight people as miserable is just a lie, her weight was just one small part of her life and who she was.

I think most slim people are more natually slim. For some of us it is a real miserable battle every single day though.

But you knew that when she was alive, surely? So at any point you could have said ‘wow, she seems happy even though she’s overweight, maybe I don’t need to deny myself so much?’.

I don't know your relative - you do. But what I can absolutely promise you is that every single member of my family and every friend I have (save, maybe one) would say the same about me. That my weight has not held me back and has not made me unhappy.

They would be (unknowingly) lying - because my weight has been a shame so deep I haven't ever opened up to anyone about how I really feel about it. When they see it 'not holding me back' they are seeing me lead a fullish life but it is still maybe half the life I really want to - my weight and how it makes me feel about myself being the limiter.

Maybe she was mostly happy, regardless of her size. But I truly think that is something only she is likely to have ever really known.

I agree. My daughter is not naturally slim - hasn't been, since birth, and it makes her sad that she's not skinny like her mates at school, which in turn breaks my heart. She eats healthily but just loves her food, but it's not just that. Her father has always struggled with his weight too - and it shows to me that there definitely is a genetic element to it too.

We all want what we can't have!

Surely @Kendodd you must known if your friend had a happy life being a bit overweight, you could have experienced the same? One donut does not a fat person make. You aren't telling me that you have only eaten rice cakes and lettuce for your whole life. There are plenty of delicious low calorie foods to be had. There has to be more to it than that.