Risking a flaming but jealous of those on weight loss injections

[Notmyfinesthours]

I’ve specifically not put this in the weight loss section as I’d rather hear from those who aren’t dieting or thinking about it. Might help me find perspective better.

I am not overweight. I never have been.
I have however had what feels like a lifetime of making sure this is the case.

I suspect many women feel like me. Brought up to fear being fat or greedy or ‘let myself go’ as if it were the worst sin.

Ive skirted close to or actually been in the midst of orthorexia for most of my adult life. Always saying no to pudding, finding the latest food that will fill me up but not have too many calories and fixating on it before I find the next one. Exercising most days, fitting it in by missing lie ins or nights in front of the fire.

Fretting in pregnancy, menopause and any ill health leading to immobility that it might trigger weight gain.

you get the picture? Self flagellation is big driven by an instilled fear of being fat given to many in my generation (I’m 58) (and yes I know I should address this first- I am trying but the media doesn’t help)

Several of my friends and family are big eaters, always seem to have the toastie and cake when we are out and by their own admissions do little exercise. They have often jokingly talked about being slimmer but say they like food too much and ‘have no willpower’ and can’t be bothered to deny themselves for the sake of a few dress sizes.

I know it’s more complex than that but they basically enjoy life in the way it should be enjoyed to my mind and accept they will be a bit larger bodied. I’ve actually always really admired this as an attitude or at least been a bit jealous of it.

But with the new weight loss injections several of them have dropped weight significantly and are so slim and delighted.

I just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection.

I know it’s more complicated, I know it costs them money, might have risks etc but it’s clear so many celebs are doing the same and it feels like it’s not going to be more commonplace.

Why is this making me feel cheated and am I just an awful person?

@SilenceInside its not though...its women posting because they want external validation/praise/positive comments....a photo is not indicative of state of health. every time someone posts a picture there's someone else having an emotional reaciton.....just read the slow losers thread and see how they feel about those other women who are losing very quickly. its just the other end of the scale from those with anorexia who post pictures of themselves. it's not just one womans post though, i see plenty of comments that are concerning.

@happytobee there is nothing easy about achieving weight loss. I think there is huge misunderstanding around what the weightloss injections do. They do not make you lose weight. They help you achieve weightloss by working on the various receptors in the body that have gone out of whack. Certainly, tirzepatide (Mounjaro) the one I take is an agonist and it wakens up the GLP 1 receptors in the body. This means that instead of feeling constantly hungry, I feel normally hungry, instead of craving food and constantly wanting to eat, I just think about food in a normal way - so that it is fuel, not a source of comfort or all of the other weird and wonderful dysregulated ways we start thinking about food. It helps regulate the digestion, so that overeating beyond satiation is no longer possible.

Everyone losing weight using a weight loss medication is still dieting in some form or another. The laws of physics have not changed and you cannot lose weight without eating less than you expend. It is not a quick fix and it is not easy. The weightloss injections just make it achievable for those who for very many and varied reasons have found it so very difficult.

None of this detracts from the efforts those who have remained slim may or may not have made to remain that way. Perhaps if those who have found it a massive effort had been a bit more open about what a trial it was in the past, they would feel less resentful now. I find myself wondering if all my slim friends who blithely told me that they "were so lucky" never to have gained weight were actually lying through their teeth and actually have really struggled over the years.

Another post where it sounds like you’re actively relishing the fact that the people taking it may fail.

Does it have a high failure rate, in comparison to what?

You seem to be spending a lot of time on the weight loss injections board, are you taking them yourself?

no i find i extremely interesting because its such a modern phenomenon and it has always got a few threads popping up in trending! am also from a family with lots of severely obese individuals (plus some with eating disorders) so if a medication is developed as a result that has more positives then negatives and is truly a long term option, then it would be helpful for certain family members!

@Oleanolean

".its women posting because they want external validation/praise/positive comments" yes, that's what I said. It's the only visible change that can be recognised when you lose weight, the health benefits are invisible. People do also post about their BP reducing, needing fewer medications for BP or for diabetes and so on. Or their fitness increasing. But perhaps you don't notice those when you skim threads as they are less obvious.

It is stupid to assume that looks and vanity are the only or even the main motivator simply because women post their progress pics and are happy about them.

It's nothing like anorexics posting pictures of their weight loss. People are not praising people who are underweight, or encouraging anyone to be underweight. The "slow users" thread is there to support women who are having slower than expected weight loss, it's their space to vent and to talk about their worries and concerns. Again, nothing at all like the disordered attitudes of people with an eating disorder like anorexia.

in comparison to hoped for aims of surgery...it does depend on the actual surgery type so you will get lots of different figures, you could give a broad estimate of around 20-30% but studies will vary hugely because you aren't comparing like with like..those people who fail to lose the expected weight or who put the weight back on, sometimes because those people are still attempting to binge or eat comfort foods.actually weight loss jabs are now being used to help those individuals post surgery.For those who were previously considering weight loss surgery, seeing as there is a risk of death from surgery, i would far far prefer those people to have easy access to jabs.

I get that, but it seems a bit harsh to be spending a lot of time reading the threads out of ‘interest’ then judging the posters and criticising them on other threads. The posters are there for support from other people in a similar situation.

people do praise people who are underweight or have achieved weight loss through unhealthy means though? People praise and idealise certain images but not all ...if someone gets to a BMI of 28 and decides that's where they feel they need to stay as it works for them,will they get the same comments of someone going down to a BMI of 20? if you are in the midst of a lifelong issue with your weight then you are probably blind to the whole story around weight loss. There can be a psychological difference in how people think about themselves and this includes how people respond to visual images....hence why i struggle to understand that you can't see the people posting images can be detrimental to other people with weight issues?

So some mystical theoretical 'rate' that cant be measured?

I know what the success/failure rates are for different types of surgery are and the complications around that very well, I researched it for months before choosing which one to go for.

Surgery has the best success rate longer term of all weight loss methods, albeit still not very high in percentage terms.

Also the stats are complicated by the fact that most people should expect to regain around 10% of their loss, its the bodies way of balancing itself out. So being sure about what statistics you're talking about is helpful to any discussion rather than bandying around a claim like 'bariatric surgery has a high failure rate'

Because that is not accurate.

am i criticising or am i commenting? where i have commented it is to raise the point that weight loss jabs are not a miracle cure, people still have to go through consideration of their diet, exercise, eat in a calorie deficit. The current phase of "omg they are a miracle" without acknowledging that there are potential downsides and some people are getting sucked into something they presume will solve everything.

@Oleanolean
You seem to want those on weightloss injections to be a certain way, think a certain way and fit into an approved box. Are they not allowed to be happy with the way they look for once in their life? Are they not allowed to want to show off external results like others do? Should they hide in shame and just be thankful they're hopefully not going to die? Can obese people just be allowed to live without one criticism or the other from others?

I don't get your objection to the varied ways different people are celebrating their weightloss. One person being proud of how they look after weightloss doesn't mean the same person isn't ecstatic about the healthy aspect of it too. A few people celebrating external looks doesn't mean everyone is doing so. People are allowed to have different priorities as well as hold different concerns at the same time.

You’re most certainly criticising them for posting progress pictures.

@WiserOlderElf
I just can't understand how you can stay in your low weight when the hunger returns.

My friend had gastric band privately because she wasn't morbidly obese. At first she lots loads of weight and weighed less than she ever had in her adult life. She looked ill and face looked awful. Now some years later she has gained most of the weight back. She still can't eat massive portions but she snacks often.

did I say it "can't" be measured ???!!! rather that there are lots of studies out there and that me posting lots of research papers on here is a bit over the top when there are different surgeries available. i understand why people are so reactive when it comes to discussions around weight but please try and take a step back from your emotional reaction.

I suppose that’s because all motivation to lose weight is not equal x

some want to lose a stone for a holiday or a wedding

some need to shed some weight so they don’t die

I have explained exactly why...that it is harmful to other people on their weight loss journeys! is that hard to understand?

As I have already mentioned, what’s hard for me to understand is that you spend a considerable amount of time reading boards that aren’t actually relevant to you, are supposed to be a support for people in similar situations, then criticising those posters on other threads. But each to their own.

@Oleanolean women are constantly surrounded by images of idealised 'perfect' bodies. It seems to have existed as long as human imagery has been available. If you are on a weightloss thread and you choose to share a photograph of your very normal imperfect body on your weightloss journey it seems unlikely that it will be harmful to someone else's weightloss journey, given that one only has to turn on the television, scroll through social media, or look at a newspaper or magazine to be bombarded with idealised bodies.

Had you looked at some of the photos that have been posted, you will see that they are very normal and not idealised at all and often are the bodies of posters with some considerable way to go to achieving a healthy BMI.

Surely, it is more helpful and supportive to witness other women's normal bodies on their weightloss journeys with all their lumps and bumps and imperfections than the endless 'perfect' media bodies?

Perhaps you could evidence your statement that sharing progress pictures is harmful to other people on their weight loss journey? I for one am finding your point on this very hard to understand.

It’s fine to not understand it, why would you if you’re not someone going through that process? It’s the gleeful ‘we’ll see’ that I object to. Like you’ll feel vindicated then they put the weight back on.

I'm surprised by some of the bitterness in the replies (of people who are anti-weightloss jabs).

I wonder whether it is because being fat phobic, or fatist? It is clear some "naturally" slim people, who have been restricting themselves for years, see their successful restriction as some kind of victory or sign of worth/strength/value - superiority basically. Their prize for this "work" is thinness. Those who do not have the same "will power", are not as strong/valuable/high-worth internally, and this shows externally via fatness, which (in society's mind) is rightly ostracised and criticised. Seen as ugly etc. However, now these "low value, greedy people" seemingly get the prize (thinness) without having to do the work - which is moral/value work, suffering. Not just eating less, you have to suffer daily for it. And this doesn't seem fair. They don't care that people on weightloss drugs are eating less or exercising, they care that it is quick, easy and assisted by medication. In contrast the thin person's "pain" has been a slow and life-long battle of will, which they have "won".

I think this is also why the "natutally" thin person loves the idea the the person on MJ will fail when they come off OR there will be a "marker" of their differences (loose skin etc.). They hate the those with will power and sacrifice and those without get the same "reward".

I don't agree with this at all. However this is the only way I can make sense of some of the replies. And quite frankly- if this is how some people feel - it is completely insane and disgusting.

Anti-weightloss jabs ppl on the thread, who specifically talk about resentment, jealousy, "cheating" - is this how you feel? Be honest, it's an anonymous forum.

I don’t think I have posted any comments that are vindictive. Perhaps for those of you who are responding to those people who are making neutral comments ( rather than those who are posting understandably upsetting comments) you might choose to take some time to think about those feelings. It’s an underlying theme that people respond with anger to what they perceive as criticism.

Do you really care about other people on their weightloss journey or is it about not making people who aren't on it angry/jealous/insert emotion about people on weightloss injections actually losing weight with proof?

Do you really care about others on weightloss journey or are you more concerned about not only telling obese people how to lose weight but also how to go about their personal weightloss injection journey?

What's it to you? Why does it seem like a need to control obese people in every way while observing them and their posts like some "big brother"?

I encouraged my mum to take Mounjaro. In fact , I pay for her treatment.
I was concerned about her weight. She was classed as obese and had high blood pressure. I didn’t want to lose her.
The main advantage of the injection is that it has stopped her thinking about food all the time and when she does eat she makes better choices.
She has lost four stone. Her blood pressure has stabilised , she has started working out in the gym. Thankfully she doesn’t have any side effects . She looks bloody amazing
Some of the posters ( not including the Op) have been positively salivating at the thought that users will have awful side effects and/or will put the weight back on.
I wish they would admit that they are simply jealous of those who have lost weight and look great.
I wish they would admit that they want others to be fat because they enjoy feeling superior to the fatties . Being slim is currency
I am slim, but if I ever became obese , I would take the injection