Risking a flaming but jealous of those on weight loss injections

[Notmyfinesthours]

I’ve specifically not put this in the weight loss section as I’d rather hear from those who aren’t dieting or thinking about it. Might help me find perspective better.

I am not overweight. I never have been.
I have however had what feels like a lifetime of making sure this is the case.

I suspect many women feel like me. Brought up to fear being fat or greedy or ‘let myself go’ as if it were the worst sin.

Ive skirted close to or actually been in the midst of orthorexia for most of my adult life. Always saying no to pudding, finding the latest food that will fill me up but not have too many calories and fixating on it before I find the next one. Exercising most days, fitting it in by missing lie ins or nights in front of the fire.

Fretting in pregnancy, menopause and any ill health leading to immobility that it might trigger weight gain.

you get the picture? Self flagellation is big driven by an instilled fear of being fat given to many in my generation (I’m 58) (and yes I know I should address this first- I am trying but the media doesn’t help)

Several of my friends and family are big eaters, always seem to have the toastie and cake when we are out and by their own admissions do little exercise. They have often jokingly talked about being slimmer but say they like food too much and ‘have no willpower’ and can’t be bothered to deny themselves for the sake of a few dress sizes.

I know it’s more complex than that but they basically enjoy life in the way it should be enjoyed to my mind and accept they will be a bit larger bodied. I’ve actually always really admired this as an attitude or at least been a bit jealous of it.

But with the new weight loss injections several of them have dropped weight significantly and are so slim and delighted.

I just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection.

I know it’s more complicated, I know it costs them money, might have risks etc but it’s clear so many celebs are doing the same and it feels like it’s not going to be more commonplace.

Why is this making me feel cheated and am I just an awful person?

That’s ok, because that comment wasn’t aimed at you. I was replying to someone else entirely.
I don’t perceive it as criticism, I am not taking weight loss injections and never have. I lost a lot of weight through diet and exercise a few years ago and have kept it off. I just genuinely don’t understand people having such strong reactions to other people doing something that doesn’t affect them at all. It’s really weird.

@hughiedoesntfight I think because of increasing scarcity of jobs, men/relationship & opportunity this is driving competition. If you look ‘hot’ facially/figure this drives confidence & you have much more power. The respect society has for the ’undeserving’ beautiful is pretty astonishing, look at talentless yet stunning celebs/women & often the worship & certainly the superior opportunities.

Twas ever thus but society is becoming ever more visual, everything is on line, want a relationship with a successful, alpha male of even a half decent man (?) it’s all on how you look now at least at first & this is becoming more prevalent.

@ChangeHasCome same reply as previous! I could ask why you think anyone not on WLJ that makes a comment about WLJ is coming from a place of being “angry/jealous/insert emotion” . The “ jealous” comment is one that comes up a lot by people losing weight, where they comment that others are going to be jealous….part of someone not being influenced EXTERNALLY by how others look is that you DONT feel jealousy at someone else’s looks or weight. You may have heard of projection, a number of people on this thread are projecting their internal feelings onto other people’s statements ( even neutral ones).

@ChipsDipsAndBlips I am now questioning the reliability of every slim friend's assertion that "they're lucky"! I've openly struggled for decades to stay within a healthy BMI and I've always asked slim friends how they stay slim and I now think that they've all been eating rice cakes and lettuce all these years and fibbing to me!!!!

Reading these threads filled with bitterness and resentment from those who have been slim but have essentially gone without for years, I feel like my reality is doing some kind of 180!

It's the whiff of religiosity about this attitude that I find so distasteful. Sackcloth and ashes, sinners (fat people) must repent, etc.

I could ask why you think anyone not on WLJ that makes a comment about WLJ is coming from a place of being “angry/jealous/insert emotion”

I don't and I haven't said you feel that way. It's a question based on your post where you said people on weightloss injections are posting before and after pictures and talking about the physical benefits, which apparently aren't a good thing in your opinion. Then saying you dont think it is good for others on weightloss jabs. (What - to see or read? I don't understand your point).

So I'm wondering if your stated reason is the true reason or if you actually think it would make others [insert emotion]? It doesn't make sense otherwise.

You didn't respond to my earlier post to you where this started btw and I'd love to know your response to it. You've also only commented on this part of my second post to you but I'd also want to understand what another poster has been asking you which is why you seem to be all over that board in an unapproving manner? You don't have to answer of course but it's interesting.

If you spent quite as much time reading these threads, as you claim to do you would know that most people are exercising and actively changing their habits.

That non of the threads talk about it being a miracle drug for weight loss. The weight loss is still hard. The fat isn’t melting off.

People (generally) on these threads talk about it being amazing because of how clear their mind feels. How they feel in themselves.

and almost every poster I have come across, also talks about he downsides. Whether that’s cost, side effect and so on. Many of yeh support threads have loads of people talking about concerns about their health.

The downsides are posted about all the time. And on threads like these the side effects are posted about, misleadingly, by people who have no clue what they are talking about. As has happened on here. I don’t recall anyone insisting there’s no downsides to it at all.

It appears you have dipped in to a few and then clinging on to the posts that suit your narrative and ignoring the majority that doesn’t fit.

@MargoLivebetter I think many can be ‘lucky’. & eat pretty mindlessly up until about 25. Age plays a big part. Losing weight often involves more restriction in menopause & for some it takes them back mentally to perceived halcyon days of happy youthfulness, fun & power.

I wonder if all the people so concerned about people taking these jabs are ever found on the competitive under eating threads, telling people how their attitudes are poor and how damaging their comments are and how they might damage themselves in the long run.

I havent got an emotional reaction to it

I said it cant be measured. I didnt say you said it cant be measured

You said it had a high failure rate

I asked in what way, in comparison to what

You then said in comparison to what the hoped for aims of the surgery. That is a theoretical thing that cant be measured isnt it.

yes it can! If you are a surgeon carrying out a particular weight loss surgery and 30% of your patients fail to lose the expected weight or later put that weight on , then that’s one measure of failure…as you have done your research then I’m sure you will have come across the relevant stats for you particular op.

If you don't feel hungry, you won't crave the food that's unhealthy, therefore saying 'no' to a pudding/ sweet sugary shit isn't difficult and doesn't take 'will-power' (whatever the fuck that is, a leftover hanger over from the Middle Ages and self flagellation!)
The better question, and actually an essential question is why do we crave foods which are bad for us? Why do some people become addicted to certain things and not others? If only we could get to the root cause of human vice, we'd probably be able to understand and live healthier and longer lives.
Why do you want that cake, is probably a better question.
When I got covid, I lost my appetite completely for six(ish) weeks, it was totally liberating, I didn't have to deny myself any foods, I didn't crave any foods, I was happy not to eat 24/7! because I didn't want it, much the same way as alcohol doesn't bother me, but my dad was an alcoholic, if he had one drink, he couldn't stop. Myself and others can have one drink and we're done.
Your friends on their weight loss injections aren't denying themselves food, they simply don't want it, it's two very different things.
I hear what you are saying, you think it's unfair you have to work hard at something, when others around you can buy something rather than working at it. Life is unfair though, you could argue it's unfair you have the will power to say 'no', whereas seemingly your friends don't.
It's unfair a dyslexic person has to work so much harder at school, Than a naturally academic person.
It's unfair that some people can pay for better education than others
It's unfair some people inherit and others don't
It's unfair that some people are born with stunning good looks others need to pay for cosmetic surgery...
It's unfair that some people who desperately want children can't have them, others who aren't fusssed or don't give it any thought, get pregnant straight away.
It's unfair some people have abusive families and others have loving families...
Life is inherently unfair, and since you will never be able to change it, you need to learn to find away of not letting it bother you, because it's only you, who is getting upset by it, so it's not doing you any favours.
Life is a bit shit, really OP, I'm sure we'd all love to be slim, beautiful, intelligent, talented and earn £££££££££££!
So if you're friends are no longer hungry, that's cool, maybe one day science will discover the key to addiction and non of us will crave or become addicted to anything. Maybe these jabs are a small step to understanding that, then you and me won't have to deny ourselves anything, as we won't want it in the first place!

Ah well thats a specific marker

Are you talking about a percentage of weight loss, so to lose 100% of your excess weight? 50% of your excess weight?

If you want to talk about that marker, thats fine, the poster should have said that.
Its generally around that one should hope for/expect around 60-70% of excess weight. Some studies measure that specifically, and there are inclusions or exclusions in some studies about the 10% weight gain after that. There are different markers to the 1 year, 5 year, 10 year mark. Obviously everyone hopes they dont put it back on again, that is everyones aim. But nothing is 100%.

That was my aim, I just went along with the stats and wanted to lose 70%. However Ive lost over 100% of my excess weight.

My other aims were to be able to move around easily, to lower my risk of stroke/heart disease/diabetes - achieved
I wanted to come off my blood pressure medication - not achieved. GP wont remove it (although I know its my choice) because he says although my BP is normal, its a silent killer so as I have no side effects I need to stay on it as a preventative, ok, I will at the moment, does this equal failure I wonder
Also wanted to specifically lower my cholesterol and improve my ratio - achieved

I didnt do it for the looks but I am over the moon with myself, now a cheeky cocky thing, strutting around, Im pleased about this, good for me. So although Im not really on social media and have no one to share pics with and bore them to death, I know I look like someone else now, my face is bright and happy, full of life, thats a nice thing to see.

@hughiedoesntfight you are welcome to your own narrative.

Personally no.

I do feel proud of myself for losing weight through dieting, it was tough and slow and I stuck with it (finally after years of false starts) so yes, proud of my determination.

BUT no, not smug, I had so many false starts that failed and it was mostly because of lack of head space and where I was in my life, it's not as though I suddenly became a 'better' person the time I lost weight to the 20 times before I tried and stumbled!

But I am a bit jealous of people who take maintenance doses for life because keeping the weight off is a constant, boring battle and I'm sick of it.

Well I hope it makes you feel a bit better to know that not all fatties have ‘revelled in their eating habits’. I was raised by an anorexic mother who did and still does, loathe fat people. I was made to feel ashamed of being slightly tubby as a child (I remember being told that she couldn’t understand why I was overweight because she definitely wasn’t), whilst simultaneously having it drummed into me that I was to finish what was on my plate so I wasn’t wasteful. A rather confusing time. As a result, I have spent my life turning down anything deemed naughty - I never eat cakes crisps or chocolate etc and don’t snack, whilst eating far too much at mealtimes because I eat past the point of fullness. I am full of self loathing and can’t bear to look in a mirror.
I’ve been on mounjaro for a month and for the first time ever, have started listening to my body in terms of feeling full. My mental health is improving.
So I do hope it’s somewhat comforting for you to know that even some of us fatties have had a lifetime of denying things and feeling self loathing every time we contemplated a chocolate hobnob.

Give over. There is much more to weight than just the matter of physical health and it is disingenuous to pretend otherwise.
See also Body Positivity and accounts of overweight people that they are perfectly healthy and do not appreciate opinions that they must lose weight.

Of course I am. Why would you think I needed you to tell me that?

Since I am actually on alot of those threads I would have a far better knowledge of them, than you do wouldn’t I?

I think I would agree here, if the injections meant people ate the same/enjoyed food the same but still lost weight. That is not how they work though. My understanding is that they take away your appetite/craving and really your enjoyment of food. Please correct me if I am wrong.

I have heard, through reading various articles etc. that they also diminish craving and enjoyment of alcohol and other drugs that break through the blood brain barrier. They do this by dimming the reward centre of the brain.

This sounds remarkable. But is it enjoyable? I have always been pretty slim but put on weight through menopause and would like to drop a stone. But would I want to lose enjoyment of food and wine etc.? I love cooking and having meals out etc. I really enjoy a glass of wine.

If I was struggling big time with the above - obese, alcoholism - I would take the trade off for sure. Would I take it now?

It could be the case that you enjoy other things in life more when on these jabs? I would love to know.

I don't think these weight loss jabs are a walk in the park - there is always a trade off. I understand why people take the trade off but it is a balance isn't it.

Also, if you start them and see the benefits does it become a forever thing? It could be a rollercoaster like existence.

@MadeupofMultipleRivers certainly for me, I have not lost my enjoyment of food and I enjoy cooking still. I just eat less, and choose healthier options.

It almost seems like people want these injections to result in a terrible, horrible, sad and depressing experience for obese people to have to endure in order to lose weight. I have had one instance of side effects after a few weeks, now I know how to avoid that happening again. I have no side effects now, 14 weeks in, and I feel incredible. The whole experience has been a revelation to me, and I wish I could have done this years ago.

I had dinner with two friends who are both using Wegovy last night. They've lost weight, look great and enjoyed their food and wine! Both did say they had really struggled with tummy related side effects though.

You don't quite lose the enjoyment. I still really like food but I no longer...

a) can actually eat that much of it, especially the rich, less healthy options. I feel fuller much more quickly and feel overfull or bloated if I push my luck. Plus, it takes longer for the food to be digested so I'm stuck in that over full stage for longer.

b) crave carb-heavy foods. I could eat a donut now and enjoy it, but I don't have a compulsion to eat it and so because I want to lose weight my logical brain has the power and is able to simply decide not to eat it. What I WANT to do, now wins over what I CRAVE to do.

@SilenceInside I am honestly happy for you - I am in no way jealous of people who take the jabs just interested in how they work.

I think I have been lucky to the extent that I have never really had a problem with over eating - and that has not been through huge will power, just is the way I am. I have plenty of other vices.

These threads are interesting as you do see what a struggle food is for some people. It is very, very rarely just a case of people being lazy and lacking will power.

That’s not right, it reduces your appetite, by slowing your digestion and also contains a hormone that signals to your brain you’re full and satisfied.

People still enjoy food I do, just you eat less of it, because you want less. You know when you’re full. Same will be for smoking or booze I guess. feeling satisfied or full doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy it.

yes some minority of people have had issues, but over all it’s not the majority, by far. And usually it’s minor, a couple of days. For those struggling with not wanting to eat, again it’s a small minority but that’s wider mental health issue.

I have to say I am also wondering about the long term effects. I know these drugs have been used for years - but were prescribed for diabetic or pre-diabetic patients. Patients whose long term health, carrying too much weight would be very precarious. People underestimate how dangerous diabetes is.

Yet now we have a lot of people taking these drugs (off label) when they are marginally overweight or of normal weight and just want to be 'skinny'. I appreciate that the vast majority on this thread do not fall into that category - but it is pretty widely known that most of Hollywood are on these jabs. I live in an expat community and LOT of the women are on these jabs just to drop a few pounds and look 'thin'.

I wonder what the long term consequences of this 'off label' use will be. The drug acts (in part) on the pancreas and well a very good gastro doctor advised me to never f**k with the pancreas.

So we will see in time, as always what the outcome will be.