Risking a flaming but jealous of those on weight loss injections

[Notmyfinesthours]

I’ve specifically not put this in the weight loss section as I’d rather hear from those who aren’t dieting or thinking about it. Might help me find perspective better.

I am not overweight. I never have been.
I have however had what feels like a lifetime of making sure this is the case.

I suspect many women feel like me. Brought up to fear being fat or greedy or ‘let myself go’ as if it were the worst sin.

Ive skirted close to or actually been in the midst of orthorexia for most of my adult life. Always saying no to pudding, finding the latest food that will fill me up but not have too many calories and fixating on it before I find the next one. Exercising most days, fitting it in by missing lie ins or nights in front of the fire.

Fretting in pregnancy, menopause and any ill health leading to immobility that it might trigger weight gain.

you get the picture? Self flagellation is big driven by an instilled fear of being fat given to many in my generation (I’m 58) (and yes I know I should address this first- I am trying but the media doesn’t help)

Several of my friends and family are big eaters, always seem to have the toastie and cake when we are out and by their own admissions do little exercise. They have often jokingly talked about being slimmer but say they like food too much and ‘have no willpower’ and can’t be bothered to deny themselves for the sake of a few dress sizes.

I know it’s more complex than that but they basically enjoy life in the way it should be enjoyed to my mind and accept they will be a bit larger bodied. I’ve actually always really admired this as an attitude or at least been a bit jealous of it.

But with the new weight loss injections several of them have dropped weight significantly and are so slim and delighted.

I just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection.

I know it’s more complicated, I know it costs them money, might have risks etc but it’s clear so many celebs are doing the same and it feels like it’s not going to be more commonplace.

Why is this making me feel cheated and am I just an awful person?

Don't be jealous of me.
I've tried EVERYTHING to lose weight for 20 years.
Even on the jabs it's coming off slowly.
I'm spending £150 a month I can't really afford, and I'm terrified of what will happen when I have to stop it.

The thing is, the Op is just being honest. And not rude. But is making a treatment that will improve the lives of many, all about how it impacts them. And Op is right to look at themselves. If you are angry other people have the chance to live a healthier and better life the problem is an internal one.

Op hasn’t been nasty like a few others in this thread. But what’s really obvious is the people who are annoyed (and in some cases angry) that there’s a medical treatment available that can improve people’s lives, generally have no clue what the injections do.

So many times on this thread people claiming ‘now they can just take a jab and eat what they want’, despite it not working like that at all. How are people so angry about the jabs but have no clue about them?

It’s very strange that a treatment has been developed to help people with a condition they don’t have, is a source of annoyance and anger for them. To the point they just aimlessly throw insults and incorrect assumptions.

Someone on this thread said they understood it because taxi drivers didn’t like that Uber set up in competition and this is the same. So are there women that feel they are in competition with fat women, for their livelihoods? They feel they have something that fat women don’t and now the former fat women will be competing with them for whatever it is?

It actually makes no sense. Unless they feel something is being taken away from them.

Being angry or jealous someone has a treatment available for a condition they have and you don’t is bizarre. It’s like being angry that there’s treatment for alcoholics.

Just more of women tearing down other women isn’t it? Not necessarily the OP but some of the really nasty posters on this thread using hyperbolic language about something they are clearly ignorant about.

For those that gleefully say it costs a lot of money and gives a lot of side effects. I can afford it forever no problem and so far I’ve had no side effects. Not everyone does.

As for people putting the weight back on after the jabs if you stop taking them. Why does it seem to me that some people want that to happen? Why is that?

For those interested in the Manchester scheme - the BBC is now reporting it:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cjd54zd0ezjo.amp

This quote perhaps particularly pertinent to this thread:

"Experts have warned in the past that the drug is not a quick fix or a replacement for eating well and exercising, and should only be offered under medical supervision.

Amanda Pritchard, the chief executive of the NHS, said the drugs would be a "game-changer" for public health and could reduce the risk of diabetes, heart attacks and strokes."

Can you come back and answer what I and several others have put to you - is she eating the same calorie intake or not?

You’re right, there is very much a gleeful element to the ‘they’ll have awful side effects and they’ll put all the weight back on again’ posts. Maybe those people should ask themselves why that idea seems to give them pleasure?
I don’t use the injections myself but have a close friend who does. She’s had very minimal side effects, has no loose skin and she looks and feels absolutely wonderful. It gives me joy to see her so happy and reenergised, because I love her and want her to be happy and healthy.

You’re not who this is for

your concerns all relate to vanity, not health

i don’t think a lot of people appreciate that these medications are about saving lives not looking good in photos

Lilly even say on their website it is not for cosmetic weight loss

I agree it’s really unpleasant

And blaming the patriarchy.

No, if you choose to see yourself in 'competition' with other women about their weight thats on you.

If you feel shit about yourself and the only way of feeling good is to down on others, feel superior, criticising women for 'looking older' and the saggy skin or just being a gluttonous old fatty, that is on you too.

Really good news today about the trial for unemployed people. This is going to change lives and improve society. I’m so pleased that people who can’t afford it from deprived communities will get access. Everyone deserves a chance to live healthier and we know that socioeconomic inequality plays a big part in obesity.

It’s also a cultural thing- when everyone around you is very obese you are more likely to let yourself go. This could have a huge positive impact on these communities. Bravo Labour 👏

Your second point is extremely important

Its fascinating to note for me, that when I was really big, I didnt seem to notice how big the population in general are. Now Ive lost weight Im interested in just how big people are, I didnt seem to see it and I wonder why, it must be like you said.

Its a shame is limited to one small place though, are the results going to be statistically significant?

They could have done 4 trials in similar places. I live in an area which is one of the worst for deprivation in the EU (although we're not in the EU anymore), its down in the leafy south east!

I've struggled with disordered eating rather than overeating per se, so am only slightly overweight now and have mostly been a 'healthy' (ha!) weight. But for me it's not that I can't feel being full, it's that I actively like it and have used it as a way to self-medicate against anxiety. You know that feeling of feeling overfull and sluggish and sleepy, or the big lull after a sugar rush, that a lot of people hate? When my anxiety was at its worst, and unmedicated, that was the only time I didn't feel actively in a sort of fight or flight adrenaline rush. So it wasn't that I couldn't feel that feeling, it was that I was addicted to it. Caitlin Moran has written (I think) well about this - she talks about people using food as others use alcohol or drugs, to dull the pain, and she argues that carers, including mothers, are particularly prone to this because, unlike an alcohol or drug addiction, overeating never impairs your day-to-day ability to cope, though obviously it damages your health long-term.

But of course, she’s on jabs now, rather than actually changing her diet.

If this were true...

a) she wouldn't lose any weight
and
b) she is likely making herself very ill indeed with the combo of lots of rich food, booze and the jabs

you are more likely to let yourself go

Go where?

unfortunately many of those on the weight loss threads are motivated by how they look externally rather than the health benefits, as you can tell from those posting their "before" and "after" photos...people are often aiming for goal weights or BMI's towards the low end of healthy rather than accepting that its possible to be healthy at a more sustainable weight. one woman had hit her goal weight and a low bmi but was still carrying on because of her "fat bum and thighs" . Its extremely difficult to get people to separate their perception of the need to look slim out from simply being healthy.

lets see!

OP I get you. I've had to control myself most of my life, though I've had a few short periods of letting myself eat what I want and be big.
Trust me they have not enjoyed being overweight. They have felt loathing, insecurity, guilt, sadness when they try clothes on.. it's this society. I used to put on a happy face but I was self conscious 24/7

Injections come with side effects and can result in looking frail as they are so effective.
You've done wonders for your body looking after it for so long.
I think it's great they exist but try not to be jealous.

@MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned you've explained that really well, its been a known factor in why gastric surgery has a high failure rate. People automatically presume that once i am x weight i will be happy but those feelings don't miraculously change unless people acknowledge food is a coping strategy.

So gleeful at the thought people will fail and put the weight back on 🙄

OP I completely understand and sympathise. Battling different restrictive ED’s for years, missing out on ‘naughty treats’ because of the huge fear of the consequences, now it all seems like a waste because being slim is so achievable. Anorexia is an incredibly competitive illness and I’m very thankful that I’m out the other side but I do worry for those still trapped in the disorder or young girls prone to it as I think these weight loss injections could have detrimental impact for those with restrictive ED’s. I am of course happy for those who have been overweight and unhappy for a long time and may have now finally found the answer but it’s okay to also admit bitterness towards the ease they appear to have the body they’ve always desired whilst millions of people like us will also be feeling resentment that we have to hide.

You gave highlighted society's judgement of fat people. That they are lazy, gluttonous, feckless people with no self control. You have verbalised what many people think.

There is a societal link for sure, its deeply rooted as far back as the bible, when you think of it. Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins and whether it's fair or not, being overweight makes people think of gluttony.

There is a stereotype of successful people being slim - I'm sure if most people were told to imagine a successful person, their mental image would be of someone slim, fit and attractive. Then there are phrases such as 'beauty is pain' and 'no pain, no gain', long established ideals of women being martyrs or self denying, and I suppose, while I'm on the subject, of women being secondary to men, being weaker than men (to boost their egos and their ideals of masculinity) and not taking up too much physical space.

Pretty messed up when you think about it. These ideas take a long time to die out.

@Oleanolean

Before and after photos are a way of visibly recognising the weight loss. It's stupid to assume that looks are the motivation for weight loss just because people post them and are happy with their progress. Health benefits are not visible and are harder to recognise. I don't recognise your comment about aiming for goal weights to the lower end of healthy. In fact I often see discussions about the issues with trying to achieve lower goal weights and people aiming for the middle of a healthy BMI range. One woman's post that you disapprove of is not representative of the majority.

This ozempic stuff brings to mind book/movie Awakenings where catatonic patients were given L-Dopa. They woke up and lots of fun for a while until the med stopped working and they ended up catatonic again. Let's hope ozempic et al won't stop working.

Before and after photos are a way of visibly recognising the weight loss.

I agree with this. I think it's also worth considering threads like the 'what are you looking forward to when you've lost weight' types. The vast majority of answers are not about looks. They are about how someone feels, what they can physically do and how they are perceieved by others in public.

Things like being able to run with their their child, not being judged in restaurants, getting off x medication. It's actually not very common for someone to say 'fitting into a size 8'. The closest they might come is to say - to see myself in photos and not hate myself.