Risking a flaming but jealous of those on weight loss injections

[Notmyfinesthours]

I’ve specifically not put this in the weight loss section as I’d rather hear from those who aren’t dieting or thinking about it. Might help me find perspective better.

I am not overweight. I never have been.
I have however had what feels like a lifetime of making sure this is the case.

I suspect many women feel like me. Brought up to fear being fat or greedy or ‘let myself go’ as if it were the worst sin.

Ive skirted close to or actually been in the midst of orthorexia for most of my adult life. Always saying no to pudding, finding the latest food that will fill me up but not have too many calories and fixating on it before I find the next one. Exercising most days, fitting it in by missing lie ins or nights in front of the fire.

Fretting in pregnancy, menopause and any ill health leading to immobility that it might trigger weight gain.

you get the picture? Self flagellation is big driven by an instilled fear of being fat given to many in my generation (I’m 58) (and yes I know I should address this first- I am trying but the media doesn’t help)

Several of my friends and family are big eaters, always seem to have the toastie and cake when we are out and by their own admissions do little exercise. They have often jokingly talked about being slimmer but say they like food too much and ‘have no willpower’ and can’t be bothered to deny themselves for the sake of a few dress sizes.

I know it’s more complex than that but they basically enjoy life in the way it should be enjoyed to my mind and accept they will be a bit larger bodied. I’ve actually always really admired this as an attitude or at least been a bit jealous of it.

But with the new weight loss injections several of them have dropped weight significantly and are so slim and delighted.

I just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection.

I know it’s more complicated, I know it costs them money, might have risks etc but it’s clear so many celebs are doing the same and it feels like it’s not going to be more commonplace.

Why is this making me feel cheated and am I just an awful person?

Like you say, it's not something I've personally experienced so I can only talk from my limited experience about my friend having the surgery. I suppose, as someone who's actually never been overweight (although this does NOT mean I've loved my body at all times, far from it), it does seem that my friend has had to sacrifice a lot by having the gastric sleeve. Including her marriage, actually, because she never recovered fom her husband admitting he didn't find her attractive when she was really big, and when she slimmed down, she just couldn't find a way past that (what he said was unforgiveable imo). But that's the thing, clearly the sacrifice is worth it - as you've said - and this is something it's difficult for someone who hasn't walked in those shoes to fully understand.

I have gained weight because I have 'addressed my food issues'. That's what happens when you start ot eat normally at 55, after a lifetime of mostly starving and occasional bingeing.

I do not envy those who are taking the weight loss injections, because they are the guinea pigs who will suffer the side-effects, which, like with botox, veneers and fillers, will doubtless turn out to be worse than the problem they were meant to deal with. (I speak as someone who got 3 veneers in the 1980s when I fell and broke some teeth, and the repairs discoloured. I have no idea why people would choose this voluntarily for all their teeth!)

At the moment, we are in the 'Emperors New Clothes' phase, where few are acknowledging that botox and fillers age you, even though everyone can see it. The long-term side effects are only now becoming clear, but people are still choosing to discount them. Who cares aout the results, so long as it fits the beauty standard? who cares if the beauty standard is 20 year olds loking 40?

[As a side-note: I totally believe those of 39 etc who get ID checked - many women of 40 with no botox and fillers and minimal makeup look younger than many woman of 25 with all of those, and as shop-workers we have to 'challenge 25'. Only today I challenged a 40 year old woman]

We'll soon reach that phase with weight loss injections - you need them forever or you regain the weight. And I'll eat my hat if they don't go the way of fen-phen and the like. Whenever something moves from trials to mass use, unrecognised side effects appear, and I'm betting wegovy, ozempic etc will have some bad ones - which I could probably predict if I were bothered to research their chemical composition.

And that is all very well when weighed against (sorry) really high BMIs. But for 'overweight' people to be taking them to meet a beauty standard? No, the benefits will not outweigh the risks.

As for the 'excitement of medical professionals' - remember how excited they were about SSRIs? And how that 'excitment' means we now are still prescribing those, even though they are no better than placebo - and worse than placebo for young people. But I digress.

Lots of this is about beauty standards. Look at Victorian pictures, even from slums. You will see stout women, especially post-menopause. Seeing the pictures of my ancestors has really helped change my thinking. Not a thin one among them - and they were not rich.

I now love and appreciate my body in a way I never have before - like fuck am I about to inject shite into it.

Wow, some of these posts are 🦇 💩!

@SpidersAreShitheads Do you think the same about people who use nicotine replacement therapy as an aid to quitting smoking? That they're just taking the easy option instead of the harder option? Isn't this similar? A tool that makes quitting a food addiction easier?

@SpidersAreShitheads this thread was started by a healthy weight person specifically to talk about being jealous and feeling cheated by her friends who are obese and taking weight loss injections. Those of use taking WLI stick to our chats on the specific board, unless threads are started about people like us in Chat, AIBU or wherever. I think it's reasonable to allow a right of reply to people who start threads like these!

The only justification an obese person needs to give for choosing to use WLI is that it will make it easier for them to lose weight. That's rather the point! That's what the injections are for, to help. Like other medication.

YANBU.
It's a bit like people on a low income but not low enough to claim benefits being jealous/resentful of people on benefits. It's understandable.

Im exactly the same as you op spent a lot of my life trying very hard to not be overweight. You articulated a lot of what I feel very well. So I see where you’re coming from. BUT there’s something you haven’t mentioned and people like us often ignore because we are staying slim because we feel it looks better and we should be slim. And that is our health. Make no mistake your health will be much much better than people who have eaten badly and been overweight for a long time. And injecting an artificial substance to control your bodies’ basic functions is going to do you no real favours. Keep your health in mind. Xox

The thing is those of us on them are waiting for a reason why everyone is so upset

I sort of agree op

People don't even have to justify why they are taking any kind of medication. It has nothing to do with anyone else. Life isn't a competition. It isn't "cheating" to not do something in the hardest way possible. Nor do you get an award for putting your blood, sweat and tears into it.

Why is there always someone who joins a polite and interesting discussion, insists it's a 'bun fight' and then tries to turn it into one?

Can we just let this interesting conversation happen without pointing fingers for a change?

OP your post sounds very sincere and
I think people and giving you a hard time.

In case you get to read this, I think your issue is that you link being slim with restricting yourself, and exercise with punishment. Like you I stayed slim but didn't feel the same way as you.

In reality the important thing here is health.I don't envy those losing weight with drugs, I do think that staying healthy/ slim by exercise and good food is the way to go.
When you exercise our heart, tendons, bones and muscles become stronger. When you eat healthy foods, you are looking after your circulatory system, your organs are maintained for longer and you prevent diseases.

The key is to find a form of exercise you enjoy. For me is the outdoors, its not just physical but also mental benefits as your brain produces endorphins while doing an exercise you like.
Start enjoying healthy foods. Which fruit/ soups you enjoy the most? It's possible to enjoy exercise and healthy food when you stop linking it to "looking good" it's the objective that makes the difference. My objective is to live my live as long as possible with the best quality if life. There is no drug that can achieve that in itself. x

Hmmm. When vaping was introduced, it was initially marketed as a way of helping people give up smoking! And now look!

That's my concern with these drugs too. It's that old adage - when something looks too good to be true, it usually is. I haven't been massively following all this though and I'd be happy to be proved wrong.

Well, vaping is an excellent way to give up smoking. What happened there is unscrupulous marketing which is disgusting. The flavours, the colours, the designs etc etc. Appalling. Watch The Big Vape: The Rise and Fall of Juul. Very interesting (and I say that as a smoker who used vaping to give up smoking, and will soon be giving up vaping)

I don't really know where to begin with a post that compares prescribed drugs to Botox and veneers. You won't die if you don't have Botox but you may well if you don't reach a healthy weight.
Overweight people don't qualify for ozempic, wegovy and Mounjaro. You have to be obese.
You also have to diet and exercise for it to work.
These drugs came to be prescribed for weight loss after long term use to treat other illnesses.

Just start exercising and getting toned lol, there's no injection for that. People who need MJ will have a bad relationship with food and their weight loss will make them look sallow and unhealthy as the small amount of calories they can take in won't be all of the food groups they need, it will just be small portions of unhealthy food.

@AnonymousBleep it seems almost like some people are looking forward to any possible long-term side effects, so they can crow about how stupid all the fatties have been and enjoy us getting our comeuppance.

Vaping is not a medicine. It's not been tested and proven to help with specific medical conditions. It's not prescribed by doctors and dispensed by pharmacists. It's nothing like weight loss injections.

Re: food & its temptations, food is a great, easy pleasure & hit, we’re hardwired towards that,

Life in UK has got tougher for most, we generally don’t have time for leisured pursuits & other pleasures not so easy to come by.

Maybe I wasn't clear in my post.

I don't object at all to people using the injections because it makes it easier for them. Because god knows, why wouldn't you want to make it easier?!

What I find irritating is that people don't say that's the reason. There's a whole lot of contortions going on to justify the use of injections when really all that's needed is to say that the injections make it easier.

So I'd apply that same logic to anything health-related, whether that's quitting smoking, weight loss, drug use etc. Do what you need to make yourself healthier.

People who use nicotine patches don't go to such lengths to explain why they've chosen to use patches, we all know it's because it makes the process easier - and that's fine. The same should apply to weight loss injections. There's no prizes for doing things the hard way!

I'm not sure whether these weight loss injections are safe long term for non-diabetics, so I don't feel that it's the right decision for me. Otherwise I'd absolutely use them to make it easier - losing weight is hard hence why I'm so fat!

So that's what I mean when I say genuinely I wish people the best with no judgement, it's just frustrating that we can't discuss this openly and honestly.

And on reflection, that's because we have seriously fucked up attitudes to eating, weight loss, and self-esteem so women (especially) feel that they have to justify WHY they're taking it and coming up with a reason rather than just being honest about wanting to make the process easier. And then everyone gets prickly.

Also another reason why I feel snarky about the injections isn't actually to do with the people using them - it's about the companies selling the injections giving people incentives if they get others to sign up. I think that's ethically wrong, and the checks in place to ensure that people meet the criteria are non-existent.

Well, there are lots of interesting and scary stats about WLS- divorce is one of them

Divorces spiral in those who have had surgery, the reasons for that are varied, yours is a good example.

The word sacrifice is interesting though, the trade off means that the 'sacrifice' if you want to use that word, is a bit empty and meaningless.

Its like being reborn (Im aware I sound a bit mad, have an infection at the moment probably, I'll blame that), therefore any thing that needs to be managed or done differently is just part of the new life.

Im sure there are those who are struggling with different aspects, I can only talk for me and for the vast vast majority of those in my support group.

@SpidersAreShitheads but of course that's the reason, it's so obvious it hardly needs saying. And all the other comments about why, are part of why it helps and makes it easier. They're not lying, they're giving context and personalisation to the obvious overarching idea that WLI makes losing weight easier.

These drugs can potentially be hugely beneficial for the very overweight. Chances are that any potential side effects will be outweighed by the weight loss. However, I am worried about the amount of people who seem to be able to get them who are not particularly big. There is going to be risk of long-term damage for some.

I also do get the OP, I’ve had phases of life when I’ve been very slim but I had to work bloody hard at it and was borderline disordered eating. I remember being at a friends hen do and pretending to the bar man I was pregnant so he’d give me tonic all night so I wouldn't have the extra calories from alcohol. That wasn’t normal and was getting in the way of enjoying a normal life. Since my second child I’ve struggled a bit with my weight and find it hard to get a middle ground. I can be thin when I’m obsessed but a bit chunky when I have free rein to eat what I want but I don’t really have the time or space to prioritise myself.

@ChristmasFluff Lots of this is about beauty standards. Look at Victorian pictures, even from slums. You will see stout women, especially post-menopause. Seeing the pictures of my ancestors has really helped change my thinking. Not a thin one among them - and they were not rich."

It's interesting - I was told that my great-grandmother (born 1869, lived in a poor area of Cork - not known for an abundance of food in that particular time and place) was nicknamed "Rashers" as she was so fat. And I saw a photo of a great grand-aunt (born 1890 in India) and she had double-chins.

Feeling the way I do on MJ, I do wonder if across any population, people have varying levels of hunger hormones, in the way that we vary in so many other ways too. Because I don't know how else to explain this, but a couple of weeks after starting the jabs I thought 'this is what normal feels like'.

It's like taking antidepressants for depression. Many people judge those who take SSRIs instead of using natural methods to improve their mental health. Even GPs are more likely to tell you to try exercising first. How about letting people decide for themselves what they do and don't need instead of making them justify asking for medicinal help. They know themselves best.

Pictures of overweight people in poor Victorian pictures can be skewed because of clothing but also because people were incredibly short. If you're 4'9 and peri menopause and after your 110th baby, you'll start thickening up around the middle, to modern eyes they might look 'fat'

And of course there were some overweight people, of all classes but at some times in history its been more likely to be the upper classes because they had food to eat, the likes of my ancestors, as far back as the pics go look like minatures, including the men.