Risking a flaming but jealous of those on weight loss injections

[Notmyfinesthours]

I’ve specifically not put this in the weight loss section as I’d rather hear from those who aren’t dieting or thinking about it. Might help me find perspective better.

I am not overweight. I never have been.
I have however had what feels like a lifetime of making sure this is the case.

I suspect many women feel like me. Brought up to fear being fat or greedy or ‘let myself go’ as if it were the worst sin.

Ive skirted close to or actually been in the midst of orthorexia for most of my adult life. Always saying no to pudding, finding the latest food that will fill me up but not have too many calories and fixating on it before I find the next one. Exercising most days, fitting it in by missing lie ins or nights in front of the fire.

Fretting in pregnancy, menopause and any ill health leading to immobility that it might trigger weight gain.

you get the picture? Self flagellation is big driven by an instilled fear of being fat given to many in my generation (I’m 58) (and yes I know I should address this first- I am trying but the media doesn’t help)

Several of my friends and family are big eaters, always seem to have the toastie and cake when we are out and by their own admissions do little exercise. They have often jokingly talked about being slimmer but say they like food too much and ‘have no willpower’ and can’t be bothered to deny themselves for the sake of a few dress sizes.

I know it’s more complex than that but they basically enjoy life in the way it should be enjoyed to my mind and accept they will be a bit larger bodied. I’ve actually always really admired this as an attitude or at least been a bit jealous of it.

But with the new weight loss injections several of them have dropped weight significantly and are so slim and delighted.

I just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection.

I know it’s more complicated, I know it costs them money, might have risks etc but it’s clear so many celebs are doing the same and it feels like it’s not going to be more commonplace.

Why is this making me feel cheated and am I just an awful person?

Sorry, I just read your other post too.

I think actually we're broadly in agreement.

I have seen lots of posts/comments from individuals who are absolutely insistent that the injections are the only possible way they can lose weight, and for the most part, that's just not true. For some, yes, but certainly not the overwhelming majority.

The injections make it easier to lose weight. End of story. Exactly as you say - that's all the reason there needs to be.

I think the reason people (women) feel the need to justify it is multifaceted. You're right, it's partly because there are these threads and they want the right of reply. But I think it's a lot more than just that - I think there's a lot of stigma and shame attached to weight, and some kind of moral value attached to weight loss. Perhaps on an unconscious level. So that's why people (women) seem to go out of their way to justify why they're taking it when really, it's fairly simple - it makes it easier and takes a lot of the hard work of dieting away.

And making it easier is a good thing.

That's really not how it works.

It's not as simple as obesity being caused by greed either. There are many contributing factors and they interact. Genetics, stress, other health conditions such as PCOS, hypothyroid, medications such as steroids, antipsychotics and SSRIs, hormones, eating disorders such as BED, repeated yo yo dieting, and poverty, to name but a few, have all been proven to interact with each other to increase the risk of obesity.

As a psychologist I have come across people in my time in MH services who were distressed about their eating and weight, they weren't sat back revelling in it. Quit with the nasty fatphobia and be glad you don't have those problems yourself.

Reframe it as having looked after yourself and your body.
This will reap its own rewards.

Life is filled with sacrifices and choices. You didn't know when you chose not to have pudding there would be a miracle cure for weight loss. Neither did these people on the injections.

We just don't know what life will throw at us. Love your best life. Don't worry about others and their journey.

** live but love also apt!

No it’s like we are all doing the same test. And there’s you then other people have the equivalent of dyslexia or adhd and need more time, extra support and so on to level the playing field.

The fact that you label people as lazy for eating too much doesn’t even make sense. How is it lazy to eat too much?

and the fact that you hope people have a side effect, even it’s it’s small is just weird.

Why does other people weight have anything to do with you? What negative impact is other people getting healthier having on you?

Its really quite clear that some people (not all) that do the ‘I just tried harder than you and you are lazy’ pile of rubbish, felt they are having something taken away by other people being a healthy weight. and that they can’t help but try and insult overweight people because they enjoy it. Its quite sad.

Why can’t you be grateful that your hard work worked and other peoples didn’t?

@SpidersAreShitheads Surely it's only "easier" if they were able to do it drug-free instead. Yes, in theory everyone can lose weight with diet and exercise, but clearly it's not that simple or everyone would be slim. Are you actually choosing to be overweight right now? Or is being a normal weight something you haven't been able to achieve so far despite knowing diet and exercise works?

Most of my mum’s side of the family are morbidly obese. My great Nan was, yet she worked full time in manual work until she was 79. So she was not lazy. My mum is obese but not morbidly. But then she’s been “on a diet” my whole life.Her dad was morbidly obese. I am morbidly obese. My sister with the same upbringing is slim. I know at the most basic level it’s calories in v out but I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if there is a genetic element at play.

Us fatties never get a break, do we?

Get called fat, lazy, pathetic, told we cost the NHS so much money etc because we weigh so much and all the health problems that come with it, not that I've personally had them but I just get tarred with the same brush.

I've had my own mum and aunts call me fat since I was 12, got put on numerous diets, got taken to hypnotherapy, slimming world, weight watchers, told I would never find a boyfriend and repeat til you vomit.

I've exercised 6 days a week, dieted, watched what I ate and also had the fear of being judged by everyone because I'm not slim.

Been led to believe my whole life that I'm not worthy because of my weight, because I wasn't slim.

And the stupid thing is at my heaviest, I was 16 stones and 6 pounds so not exactly tv documentary worthy fat or taking up 2 seats on an airplane fat either.

I'm now 44 and im really fucking tired but now there is something I can do about it, spend my own money on and yet I'm still judged, still called lazy, still moaned about for helping myself with my weight because I should never have been fat in the first place and now I must still suffer to lose weight, because how dare I use something to help me and for once, make it a bit easier?

Fucked up really, isn't it?

Sorry hit send too soon. I’m on mounjato now and I’m not going to feel bad or that I’m cheating for taking a medication to help me with a health issue, same as I do for other chronic health issues I have

You are not overweight @Notmyfinesthours therefore why be jealous of people who are morbidly overweight who cannot lose weight without injections! Good grief, you are being unreasonable

Yes it's pathetic that people comment on what you spend your own money on.

I'm a little bit jealous of people who can take it, I fully admit, only because I wish I could do it!
I can't due to another medication and my mum had thyroid cancer

Just reading these responses, I did just have another thought.

People who are naturally slim or who have remained slim without dieting - people who are overweight often seem to be saying to them "well, it's OK for you - you've never been overweight, so it's easy for you. You've never had to fight to stay slim..."

But some slim people are saying that it's NOT been easy for them and that (in some cases) they've had a lifetime of forcing themselves to make the hard decisions and deny themselves the enjoyment of the calorific foods.

I wonder if those who are slim feel that it's somehow not acknowledging their hard work? As if their sacrifices are being dismissed because they're being told "it was easy for you" - and they're saying that actually, it was bloody hard for them too.

Just reading through the differing responses objectively.....this seems to jump out. Some slim people seem to be annoyed that their hard work isn't being acknowledged.

I'm fat though, and have always been fat so I might be wrong here 😅🤷‍♀️

Its not either or, its both

Your genetics/hormones will play a part in how you physically feel after food, what your satiety levels do, affect to some degree your choices. They are still your and my choices but its a lot harder if you dont have an off switch and live to fear the hunger (which Ive learned does not need to be feared, not sure whether that was a physical or psychological thing now)

The jabs are tools to help that.

And for the posts saying that people arent 'honest' and saying they have this and that medical condition, obesity IS a medical condition, a very dangerous one at that.

I find it very interesting to observe the life of women who through drive, ambition, intellect, beauty, having a super toned body/being fit dramatically change their life’s trajectory for the better.

Self advancement if you like. Any ‘tool’ that makes this easier for themselves & family they grab with both hands & play their God given ‘hand of cards’ to their advantage.

It’s not PC but being beautiful, slim & cultured etc gives huge advantage. Talent & intellect not so easy to come by or perhaps kindness and generosity of spirit, but the rest are now increasingly up for grabs.

In a world where decent men feel few and men are swiping on dating apps & so visual, being slim & attractive confers much advantage.

Is scarcity causing this resentment OP?

YANU I say this as someone who’s been on Mounjaro for 5 months. I currently have a bmi of 45 so still very obese . If I didn’t loose another lbs I wouldn’t want to stop the injection, yes I’ve lost 3 stone but that’s the side effect

• my mental health has never been better
• i don’t hate myself
• i don’t feel shame and self loathing that I’m choosing to kill myself slowly and can’t stop
• my brain in quiet, there’s a peace and silence I’ve never known
• I feel in control
• i can handle my emotions without eating myself into numbness or wanting the pain of feeling full that’s better than the overwhelming of the emotions
• i don’t think about food every second of every day
• i procrastinate less
• im motivated
• im joyful

im glad you were able to be strong enough to not eat , but I can relate to how strong that urge that is, and not being able to just leads to self hatered, but I still wish for you and all that find it hard that freedom.

i 100% know it’s a drug that’s doing it not me and if I stop the drug the brains the same, so it’s for life but I have a life now it was treading water waiting for death before.

I believe what I’ve written will make no sense to most people, it makes no sense how much my brain has changed and how ridiculously easy it now is to make good choices, to stop , to choose a better option so when people say it’s easy to eat less and exercise more it is, I’ve had four months of it being easy, but I’ve also had 40 odd years of it being impossible .

yanu to want that.

I would always prefer to be in a position to not need these injection than to need them.

If people want to use them, that's up to them. I just don't see how it's a reflection on me or anything to do with my weight. Someone it's more engaged for you OP.

I do have an issue with people using unregulated versions that aren't prescribed by a medical practitioner but then I'm like that will all drugs.

Ask yourself this, if you knew 20 years ago, these injections would become available would you have changed your eating habits in advance? I doubt it.

You’re not awful. But lots of people don’t have to struggle to be slim. I’m one of them. I eat whatever I want when I want it. I just don’t want to eat unless I’m hungry so I genuinely can’t work out whether I eat more or less than other people or what is going on really. That might change as I age. I don’t know.

The point I’m trying to make is I don’t know what these injections are doing. But if they are triggering whatever’s going on in my body or mind in others then I don’t think it’s a bad thing and I don’t think you should suffer. If you want to try them then do.

And no I’m not perfect. I’m a hideous smoker. If someone gave me an option for a pill or injection to make me not bothered about smoking I absolutely would.

So some people with a problem get help to deal with that problem. It's not really your business is it?

For me I don’t dismiss that many people are slim through hard work. But it can be hard work and still easier than some people have it.

i worked incredibly hard on my career to get where I am. But I can also recognise that while I have worked hard, made sacrifices and so on, there are other people who worked just as hard or harder and haven’t got to where I am.

I couldn’t say that I know what it’s like to put in the work and the sacrifices and not get to where I wanted to be. My experience of the hard work paying off is not the same as someone working hard and it not paying off, especially when it’s not a level playing field.

If 2 people prepared for a test and one has dyslexia and the other hasn’t. Giving help to the one with dyslexia doesn’t take away the others hard work or achievement. The one without dyslexia can have worked very hard, so can the one with dyslexia but because it’s not a level playing field both peoples ‘hard’ is different.

Something else is that for many satiety & weight changes around menopause for women.

How many had tiny waists & gave no thought about food or particular fitness in late teens & mid 20s? For many weight can pile on in menopause.

It is good to read this, thanks for being honest OP. Mounjaro etc has a load of different triggers for people, which is why you often see the vitriolic reactions or those of faux concern. As far as I know, it is not possible to eat whatever you want and still drop a load of weight on MJ. But just generally I don't think it is unreasonable to feel miffed when people seem to get easily, what you have fought for for years.

I get it OP. I lost 2 stone through long, tedious dieting and am an age where I gain weight super easily and lose it painfully slowly. I exercise 5 times a week and spend 6 months a year back on the diet to lose the 6lbs I gained in the months I relaxed a bit. If I could take a maintenance dose of mounjaro forever and never have to think about food again it'd be bliss.

However, I don't begrudge the people who take injections because I know they've had a much harder time overall.

I also think / hope it's showing that there's a lot about weight gain we don't understand. People on it talk about 'the food noise' and describe an intensity I've never had which makes me wonder if there's something physiological that NEEDS treating. Hopefully it will transform the way we all think about weight gain and rewrite the nonsense script about 'all you need is willpower'.

OK, so I'm one of "those" people who cheat to lose weight.
But you know the self flagellation you live with? Imagine that, but only after you've eaten the stuff you really shouldn't. The fixation you've spoken about with the latest food that fills you without calories, imagine that being about food, just in general. But it doesn't really pass, it's just everything.

Now that jab, it takes away a lot of the mental reward. It switches off the feelings of happiness, and enjoyment to a certain extent.
I have a slim friend, I've watched her eat and always been quite jealous that she can pick at food (I shovel it down, even after having 85% of my stomach cut out, I shovelled food in so quick that I've been sick, in fact it became such a common thing that I was sick just blood once- I'd torn part of my oesophagus. I'd been told by my surgeon that eating like that could have ruptured my pouch)

When starting weight loss jabs, I was like my friend. Not bothered by food.
It didn't allow me to continue being a greedy fat fuck, but it did allow me the space to make better decisions because the bad food wasn't something that felt like arcade machines going off in my head as I ate anymore.

I don't think you have an easy relationship with food either, but I'd prefer to have the self restraint to not need "help" to eat properly at a cost of £100-£200 a month.

I think losing weight isn't as simple as choosing to eat the right foods and exercise more. And that's the problem. Making the right choices isn't easy for lots of different reasons.

If we all had unlimited time, money, motivation, and energy - and were properly educated on nutrition - lots of us could lose weight the traditional way.

The problem is, that's not life.

Modern life is busy, stressful, and lots of us are knackered. We don't have enough time. There's lots of unhealthy food that's dressed up as healthy food. Conventional information about weight loss is often not particularly helpful and GPs have very little training on nutrition and diet. That means that lots of us don't have very good knowledge of how to lose weight effectively other than the usual "eat less, move more" mantra that's often cited. And of course we know it's more complicated than that - what you eat matters just as much as the calories that go in, just to use one example.

It can be really expensive to eat healthily. And it can take ages to make some meals from scratch. When you're tired after a long day at work, it's so much easier to just chuck something in the oven. Healthy food doesn't last as long in the fridge.

And of course, none of that addresses comfort eating or stress snacking. Or skipping meals because you're so busy, and then grabbing crisps or a chocolate bar because you're starving.

Even without getting into more complicated areas such as metabolic changes, hormones, and UPFs etc - there are lots of reasons why it's bloody hard to eat healthily and well.

None of this means that we can't. It would be probably possible for lots of us to lose weight through the right diet and exercise.

But it's HARD. And when you're using all your energy on lots of other areas in your life, sometimes there's not just the emotional energy to focus properly on balanced eating. So yes, it could be achieved with diet and exercise for nearly all of us but there are too many other things that get in the way, plus there's not enough good quality information available about nutrition.

I know exactly why I'm overweight. And for the last two months I've actually (finally) started to do something about it. That's why I was so interested in the injections - I thought it would be a game changer for me. But after reading up on them, there are too many question marks over how they're being used, how they're being prescribed, and the long-term safety in non-diabetics. Maybe if this was in 10 years time, I'd make a different decision as there would be the data to show that they're safe. So it's not a moral/judgement thing from me at all. I got a blood clot after a COVID jab so I know I'd be the sod who gets the rare side effects listed 😅

It makes no difference to me if other people have injections. Absolutely none. I completely understand why anyone would prefer to make the process easier. If I was comfortable with the safety, I'd be doing the same.