Risking a flaming but jealous of those on weight loss injections

[Notmyfinesthours]

I’ve specifically not put this in the weight loss section as I’d rather hear from those who aren’t dieting or thinking about it. Might help me find perspective better.

I am not overweight. I never have been.
I have however had what feels like a lifetime of making sure this is the case.

I suspect many women feel like me. Brought up to fear being fat or greedy or ‘let myself go’ as if it were the worst sin.

Ive skirted close to or actually been in the midst of orthorexia for most of my adult life. Always saying no to pudding, finding the latest food that will fill me up but not have too many calories and fixating on it before I find the next one. Exercising most days, fitting it in by missing lie ins or nights in front of the fire.

Fretting in pregnancy, menopause and any ill health leading to immobility that it might trigger weight gain.

you get the picture? Self flagellation is big driven by an instilled fear of being fat given to many in my generation (I’m 58) (and yes I know I should address this first- I am trying but the media doesn’t help)

Several of my friends and family are big eaters, always seem to have the toastie and cake when we are out and by their own admissions do little exercise. They have often jokingly talked about being slimmer but say they like food too much and ‘have no willpower’ and can’t be bothered to deny themselves for the sake of a few dress sizes.

I know it’s more complex than that but they basically enjoy life in the way it should be enjoyed to my mind and accept they will be a bit larger bodied. I’ve actually always really admired this as an attitude or at least been a bit jealous of it.

But with the new weight loss injections several of them have dropped weight significantly and are so slim and delighted.

I just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection.

I know it’s more complicated, I know it costs them money, might have risks etc but it’s clear so many celebs are doing the same and it feels like it’s not going to be more commonplace.

Why is this making me feel cheated and am I just an awful person?

Quite a lot of people ARE healthy despite their weight.. however their weight impacts their health.
I have been morbidly obese. My weight has fluctuated throughout the years. I am a rock climber. I climb mountains as a hobby, I do between 10k to 20k steps a day every day.
And I'm not the only larger person I know who is actually really physically active.
Of course there are people that aren't too.
But you can't just assume due to someone's size, that they do not exercise.
This is a massive misconception about obesity. 90% of weightloss is down to diet. You cannot exercise your way out of an unhealthy diet.
So there will be many people who take weightloss drugs for whom the health impacts will be great as they will be able to enjoy all the exercise they were previously doing, even more without the stress of the weight.
You seem to think it's all just going to be people with no muscle tone who suddenly become bones and skin.
That will be a very small proportion.

i got the wonder jabs in may off my gp. my diabetic levels were very high due to mental health issues and binge eating, my gp knew i needed help. im still on low starter dose working really well since day one took 19 jabs lost 2 stone 10 pounds. my bionge eating is in total control, if we need the jabs we need them. am expecting to come off blood pressure pills soon and reduce my diabetic medication soon as well.

I have been over weight all my life even as a child and I take Mounjaro. It's not an easy fix nor an easy choice. I feel like it sucked all the colour out of life.

I never have an appetite so I need to force myself to eat so then I feel sick. I can't go to the bathroom normally so it's either nothing for days or can't leave the bathroom. I have constant heartburn so have to take meds for that as a side effects.

So yeah can see why you are jealous 🙄

I'm honestly so fed up of these bashing threads. They never reveal any proper concerns.

"Oh but the side effects!" Why do you care? They don't affect you. If I feel sick that's on me. Even if they cost the NHS money, it's probably less than my obesity would cost them.

"But it's cheating!" Cheating who? Life isn't a competition. There's no prize at the end of it. You don't get a prize for being miserable about your weight.

"You're lazy!" You don't just jab yourself and watch the fat melt off you. You're still calorie counting, exercising and living a healthy lifestyle.

Just admit it. You hate that people are becoming less fat because it means you have less people to look down on and nobody can tell whether they're one of the lifelong skinny people or a fatty turned skinny. For a website that proclaims itself to be so full of feminists, Mumsnet is full of women who hate other women for simply existing.

Its different strokes for different folks though isnt it?

Most people who have had surgery, me included tried the jabs. I would have stayed on them if I could bear injecting myself but couldnt stand the needles so the stuff just sat in the fridge after a while. They worked amazing though and if I had been able to inject myself I would have stayed on them, no bother

A lot of people who have had WLS of all types, may one day, and some do now, use the jabs too, that is also not uncommon, they're just a tool in the armoury. I may need to think about this one day in the future, i wont count it out and I wont count it in.

I do have to take a cocktail of vitamins you're right, its the price I pay, I dont mind although I have to stay on top of it. My hair did thin but it then starts thickening up again after the 9 month stage, this is a normal process, your body spends many months on around 800 to 1000 cals a day, if that in my case, so its to be expected, its now thickening up nicely but at the same time I was full on perimenopause so this compromises it slightly.
You're right I can only eat small portions but I only need or want small portions, so this isnt a negative as such, although I have to always have a doggy bag in a restaurant and no doubt anyone else on MN in the same restaurant will be whispering 'oh look at her with her orthorexia, not finishing her teeny tiny starter'.
You cant eat and drink at the same time, this is correct, you just have to manage that

So injections are far preferable, they are not invasive in the same way. Why on earth someone who had surgery would be 'pissed off' at those on injections I have no idea though.

Yes it's due to hypothyroid but I'm on a high dose of thyroxine both GP and consultant said weight loss injections are unsuitable as my metabolism is too slow, slowing it down further would cause gastric problems

I've asked for a different prescription i.e. natural thyroxine to try and see if it suits me better but neither will give me the script to try it out from the USA even though I'd have to pay for it.

I cook from scratch with occasional processed foods, the allotment provides a lot of good veg and fruit I limit anything starchy and sugary, am frequently on my feet and active. My energy levels are excellent, mind you before the thyroid broke, my resting phase was pacing up and down wearing holes in the carpet. so I took a big bump down on energy levels for me. The only thing that has worked in a weightloss of around 1lb a week is a N-Acetyl Cysteine which I've been trying for 9 weeks so a quiet and hopeful woohoo on that.

well it starts off "you are being completely ridiculous"

I am still interested but happy to wait some years to see if I am going to try. So far following Facebook etc forums I have learnt not to have too low goal weight otherwise your face will look like a raisin. I am trying to loose weight slowly by exercising and eating healthy food.

The overweight friends have felt like shit. Others have made them feel like shit. The food Talk is a front that you have to do cause jolly fatties are better than miserable ones. Ozempic is not a miracle drug on it's own. And now that they're struggling with that comes with the judgement of being a cheater and not doing the rings thing. Relearning everything they're used to regarding food.

I don't know your friends. But trust me. You have nothing to be jealous of. They haven't been happy and there hasn't been having their cake and eating it too. I bet they would have done anything to have your self control and the ability of being skinny. Overweight and orthorexic are not that far from each other.

I've looked into weigt loss meds to help me. I'm so sick of being a failure when it comes to weight and looks. Have yet to find a doctor that will prescribe me some. But I put up a happy face cause that's what you're suppose to do. So no it is not the easy way out. It is fuckton more complex.

I think it's more they'd be pissed off that it hadn't been an option for them, than pissed off with the people having them. My mate who's had gastric surgery is so much healthier and happier as a result, that's great, but it has definitely come at a price. I'll have to ask her opinion on the injections, as I don't actually know!

This is the issue.

Do you think we enjoyed and revelled in being over weight? Binge eating? Really?

Honestly, you don’t get and that’s fine. It’s not about you. It has no impact on you.

It’s about other people getting healthy.

TBF - and this is veering a bit off topic - divide and conquer is how the patriarchy stays on top. We've been socialised to compete with one another, however feminist we consider ourselves. It's always so, so evident in the weight loss threads.

If you could, which you cant, you would do well to read and engage with WLS support groups, with respect you are talking absolute rubbish!!

People who have been through such a momentous procedure/journey, both painful, taking lots of time, lots of energy and motivation have nothing but praise and wishes of success for anyone else who manages to lose the dead weight, literally.

The miracle of what that feels like is phenomenal, I cant even list the things associated with it.

Most people who have had WLS have used every single tool going, been to every single service/resource/club/grym, tried this, tried that, the list is endless. Including jabs.

You have an unhealthy relationship with food and so do those having the injection. They seem to have found a miracle cure for their unhealthy relationship with food and you haven't. I think that's what you're jealous of.

I'm not sure what the options are for therapy/self help around this sort of thing but seems like you need to try and find a solution for your own demons here. There is a middle ground.

I admire your honesty just as I admire anyone's ability to view themselves honestly. The fact that you have this ability may in part explain why you have successfully managed to control your weight. Self-delusion is a tragedy in my book.
I'm also super slim, have the same weight and statistics at 65 as I did as a late teenager, and it is all down to self-control which is often difficult.
But the way I look at it is the benefit to society that these people are no longer obese. I care much less about how they get to the right place, just that they do, and am glad that they have support in whatever form. This will save the NHS (hence each and every one of us taxpayers) billions. So welcome the injections and the courage of anyone who takes them, please.

I admire your honesty, and can understand you feeling like that. However, as has already been said, you do seem to lack understanding of the complexities of obesity; if being slim was as easy as ‘being careful’ all your life, then everyone would be slim. It isn’t like that for very many people.

And now they’ve gone and moved the goalposts on you! People you previously felt superior to, because they were larger than you and so presumably hadn’t been putting in the same attention to ‘being careful’, are getting thinner. You can’t feel so superior to them now.

Your honesty is refreshing. It's not nice to judge those on injections but we're all only human and we do judge. The important thing is that we realise that we're doing it and try to change. Think about what you're saying though - because you've suffered and been unhappy, you don't think it's fair that others should get the same results without suffering and being unhappy.

And as PP have said, it's not all roses on the injections. I recently had to come off them after trying for a year. It did help with my food cravings but it gave me terrible heartburn, stomach upset that never went away, fatigue and depression. I've finally had to admit that I'm going to have to make a 180 degree lifestyle change that is sustainable of I want to lose weight and keep it off. I need to find form of exercise I enjoy so that I can keep doing it long term.

So, I'm sad about that. But I don't begrudge those for whom the injections are working. And I'm also relieved that I don't have to worry about the side effects anymore. In some people it can lead to permanent gastroparesis and even pancreatitis.

I'm sorry you've had such a stressful and difficult relationship with food and your body. I understand the struggle, although mine is with overeating and using food to escape painful feelings and stress. I think we all need to be a bit more gentle on each other and on ourselves.

Well I admit to being jealous of you OP because your efforts paid off and mine didn't. I've been dieting for 30 years. I'm always the one who says no to pudding, I've counted every calorie I've ever eaten and I've always exercised. But I'm a slave to the fairly well known set point theory so my reward for all my efforts over the past 3 decades is morbid obesity. 16 stone, bmi 41. The harder I try the bigger I get. So jabs it is as soon as I can afford them.

I’ve been on some sort of diet since I was 15 - that’s 30years of thinking about food and I’m still fat until this year- I’ve done five months of mounjaro complete with feeling sick and other side effects and I’ve lost 3 stone it hasn’t been easy and I’ve felt genuinely awful for the whole time but now it’s off it’s never going back on

Well why did you proclaim that then?

For most people it has been an option, unless you mean around 10 years ago and further back when they didnt exist privately as such

I would almost guarantee it (although Im not eating any hats as I cant finish a whole one) that no mega fat person who has lost weight via surgery is judgemental or sneery about those on jabs.

We get enough of our own judgement because you know WLS is mega cheating.....

such as.......hair falls out, saggy skin, looking older, teeth fall out, vitamin regime, expensive, recovery time, organs removed when you travel abroad to do it, cheating, lazy, still stuffing their faces, hope they didnt get it on the NHS, yada yada yada.

@greenday16B yes, every single day. Because although I’ve never been overweight, I’ve always wanted to lose a bit.
There’s a bit in Bridget Jones’ diary when someone says “don’t you need x number of calories just to stay alive”, and she marvels that eating is actually considered essential by most people, when she’s spent her whole life seeing everything she eats as a failure!

@itwasnevermine not judging but exploring.

sad.

I have to confess to feeling thoroughly irritated by the weight loss injections and it's taken me a while to figure out the reason why.

For me, it's the inability to have a conversation about them without someone shouting you down for "just being jealous" or accusing you of having an agenda.

I think there's a lack of honesty among SOME of the people who have the injections. Some people have genuine medical conditions which make losing weight very difficult so having the injections makes perfect sense. But most people just don't want to try because it's difficult (and it is).

Of course it's appealing to take a pill that makes it easier. I understand that and I don't actually judge anyone for that. But I think I feel frustrated by the long list of half-baked reasons that people reel off as their "reason" for "needing" the injections when really it's just that it makes it easier.

I mean, if you want to have the injections then just have them, it makes absolutely no difference to my life. The more people at a healthier weight, the better - less pressure on the NHS helps us all. I just find the lack of honesty around the conversations really annoying.

And god forbid if anyone DARES to suggest that taking a maintenance dose of weight loss drugs for life might not be the ideal solution! AFAIK the drugs haven't been tested long-term on individuals who aren't diabetic. The longitudinal studies were done on diabetic individuals which is a whole different ball game.

Just for reference, I'm really overweight. I would be the perfect candidate for the injections, and I could afford them. It would be AMAZING if I thought they were definitely safe, but I've read a lot and I don't feel as if I can be sure. So I'm going to continue doing this without injections, because I think it's probably safer.

I don't begrudge people the injections but I do feel resentful that it's become like some kind of cult. People taking injections claim no one understands what it's like, make up all kind of half-arsed reasons why they can't lose weight the same way as everyone else, and refuse to even discuss the idea that having to take a drug for the rest of your life might not be healthy.

There are some people who really do need these injections due to genuine health complications that make it hard to lose weight. And of course, there are those who are very overweight so the benefits outweigh any potential risk.

That's why I feel irritated by them, I think. I'm certainly not jealous as I have the option to use them myself, and I'm actively choosing not to (because I'm risk-averse and have a tendency to react badly to drugs).

Also, extra context, I'm autistic and I do find a lack of honesty in conversations really bloody annoying.

If you've chosen to use the injections because it's easier then fair play. I hope it works out for you and I hope you don't suffer any side effects. That's a genuine wish from me.

Completely agree OP. Feel like I've spent my entire life working hard to stay slim, had to say exert self control. Spent most of my awake hours thinking about food.

Now all the lazy people who've had years enjoying the 4 slices of cake and flapjack just get to cheat and have the same results.

It's like we're all doing the same test only they've been given the answer page and we've spent years studying. What's the point in working hard?

And then you feel awful for thinking things like this, but secretly hope these injections will have some horrid yet mild side effects like spotty feet or something.