Risking a flaming but jealous of those on weight loss injections

[Notmyfinesthours]

I’ve specifically not put this in the weight loss section as I’d rather hear from those who aren’t dieting or thinking about it. Might help me find perspective better.

I am not overweight. I never have been.
I have however had what feels like a lifetime of making sure this is the case.

I suspect many women feel like me. Brought up to fear being fat or greedy or ‘let myself go’ as if it were the worst sin.

Ive skirted close to or actually been in the midst of orthorexia for most of my adult life. Always saying no to pudding, finding the latest food that will fill me up but not have too many calories and fixating on it before I find the next one. Exercising most days, fitting it in by missing lie ins or nights in front of the fire.

Fretting in pregnancy, menopause and any ill health leading to immobility that it might trigger weight gain.

you get the picture? Self flagellation is big driven by an instilled fear of being fat given to many in my generation (I’m 58) (and yes I know I should address this first- I am trying but the media doesn’t help)

Several of my friends and family are big eaters, always seem to have the toastie and cake when we are out and by their own admissions do little exercise. They have often jokingly talked about being slimmer but say they like food too much and ‘have no willpower’ and can’t be bothered to deny themselves for the sake of a few dress sizes.

I know it’s more complex than that but they basically enjoy life in the way it should be enjoyed to my mind and accept they will be a bit larger bodied. I’ve actually always really admired this as an attitude or at least been a bit jealous of it.

But with the new weight loss injections several of them have dropped weight significantly and are so slim and delighted.

I just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection.

I know it’s more complicated, I know it costs them money, might have risks etc but it’s clear so many celebs are doing the same and it feels like it’s not going to be more commonplace.

Why is this making me feel cheated and am I just an awful person?

But you're able to regulate your dietary intake yourself without spending thousands over time and potentially dealing with questionable side effects, I know which I'd prefer.

Each to their own - I'm not overweight, don't need to lose weight , but exercise makes me happy. If taking jabs to loose weight makes you happy with your body - do it. I just hope everyone doing it is in it for the long run and not a quick fix only go to back to old habits.

Yes exactly this.

Its the 'cheating' thing again

Cheating who or what?

I've used the jags, but I voted YANBU because you're being honest and I actually value that, rather than people hiding behind "oh but the side effects" and stuff like that. Fair play for admitting how you feel.

I tried to do the body positive thing about my weight and tell myself I didn't (or shouldn't) mind being bigger, but I did, and when I got prediabetes that was the wake up call that I really did mind and that the excess weight was contributing to health problems.

If it helps, weight loss injections aren't the quick fix they're portrayed as. You still have to change your habits and when off them especially work every bit as hard as you describe to maintain. So we'll all be in your camp soon enough.

I posted a thread about this a while ago - and got slayed! I do know what you mean though!

I'm pretty sure that these weight loss injections are not the magic pills they claim to be and that your bodily health is in a much better place for a lifetime of good care that the body of someone who is relying on drugs to lose weight. So, take pride in your achievement.

I always have a little wry smile (on my crinkly face) when I see those posts

The horror!!!

I do look older, Im ok with that, my OH even tells me this, but he also tells me that I am so much more than 'looking older' and I also know this, I feel 30 years younger, actually more than that because I was a big old fatty in my 20s too. So now Im running around, busy, energetic, buzzing

But you know, 'looking older'!!!

The before and after pictures of me dont even look like the same person.

I may in time have a face lift as Im developing my mothers jowls, perimenopause also did for them. But overall, looking older is better than how it used to be.

An increased risk of thyroid cancer?

Untrue.

If you compare food addiction to alcoholism
Sometimes you just have to admit you have a problem and understand other people can enjoy the thing you can't, without the consequences you face. It's not fair but it's just life.
Some people do not have to think about food that much at all. A bit maybe, they might think 'oh I just had a big pub lunch yesterday better tone it down today' but they won't have to track every calorie thay goes in their mouth just to remain barely in the healthy weight range.
It's unfair. But all our bodies are different.
And when people have to take weight loss drugs they are at an extreme end of the addiction spectrum.. coz they haven't been able to beat this for the sake of their health.
Some people have been able to keep on top of their weight despite having issues with food addiction
And it's very hard work. And it may seem it's not fair that some people have been able to get on top of it with drugs.. however you still have to put in work..
Like alcoholics on antabuse. Yeah it's a drug that heps but you still have to do the work, and want to do the work. It's not magic.
And inan ideal world you could do it alone be ayse these drugs do have side effects.
But if you've tried to do it alone and failed then for the sake of your health these drugs are good.
Don't resent people for taking them. It's still hard.
It's a great achievement that you've been able to keep on top of things without the drugs but not everyone can. And people die, they get very ill, they get disabled.. due to high bmi. It costs the NHS millions, it's a sad blight on people's lives.
That won't happen to you.. and it's good now that it won't happen to all of them either

@Genevieva what is it that makes you so sure that GLP-1 receptor agonists like Mounjaro are unhealthy and likely to be a problem for those that use them to lose weight? I wonder what it is that you've seen that makes you sure that this is the case?

I don't think you're horrible, OP and I applaud your honesty. You're not a hypocrite.

Call me a cynic or a horrid person but I don't believe for a single second that those banging on about weight loss injections causing cancer, etc, being unhealthy and so on - that they honestly care about total stangers' health and just that. Like hell they do. It's just fat-bashing. Oh look, gluttonous, greedy fatties getting slim without doing anything (a misconception, AFAIK) and that won't do.

I sincerely don't care about the health of people who are strangers to me. What I mean is, I certainly do not wish harm, pain or ill-health on anyone, but I really wouldn't actively preoccupy myself with thoughts about stangers' health. It's their business. I do not think I'm unique in this.

I'm not fat/obese, don't use these injections and wouldn't use them for personal reasons. BUT I do think they are a great thing. If it helps people lose weight, feel happier about themselves and healthier, look better and be more energetic after a long (even lifetime) of stuggle with weight - more power to them. I'm slim, but not envious and would be glad if my 'fat' friend became a 'slim' friend (if she wanted to), I'd be happy for her.

I have the same opinion about plastic surgery/injectables (in moderation, that's important). Don't have any myself (yet), but I don't see the problem, if it improves how you feel about yourself. The world is moving forwards, everything's advancing, so I don't see why people should still be stuck in the middle ages with their ashen soap and burlap tunics. Just because it's man made/created/not 'of nature', doesn't mean it's evil.

And your evidence?

I'm sorry, but I simply disagree. The advantages of a lifetime of eating healthily and exercising regularly are far greater than just weight and physique. A pill doesn't give you muscle tone, heart health and a vascular system clear of calcification. These weight loss jabs can improve people's weight and some other health indicators such as blood pressure relative to where they were, but not relative to a healthy person.

I've never thought of it like this before but you completely have a point: to your mind, you've done the hard work to stay slim and healthy your whole life, and now loads of people can just seem to write off those years using these injections.

Problem with these type of 'quick fixes' is unless you've learned to change your eating habits and mindset for over eating, which unless a medical problem, is the only way some become over weight in the first place you're stuck taking these injections for life because there's a real chance if you stop those written off years will appear quicker than you think.

You’re never a bad person just for feeling jealous!

If you were treating your friends badly based on your jealousy or tried to blame them for it then yes you would be unreasonable but you are clearly aware that your feeling are based on your own experiences with food and not because your friends have actually done anything wrong.

None of us can control our feelings, just how we react to them

OP all I can say is that I feel exactly the same way as you do.
I wish I didn't, but I do.

I didn't say unhealthy. I said not magic. And not comparable with the benefits of a lifetime of healthy living.

You thought you were in competition with these people but you are really only in competition with yourself and your feelings of fear of getting fat. They are in competition with the constant thought of food and not with you. Everyone is really just battling their own demons - it’s a bit of a naff saying but it is true.

On another thread that I cant remember what it was about now, someone diverted off and started posting links to information about Bluezones, its very interesting, they are zones where people live longest and some of the information was about diet, types, intake that sort of thing. Cant remember the detail and its more nuanced than this but its essentially dont eat so much, dont have a snacking culture, dont have a culture that praises or deifies overeating

Then look to the other side of the coin, the US and Australia, are these the biggegst countries at the moment? Im not sure of the stats actually but the food environment (which the UK has slowly been emulating) is all about that.

Its our food culture. Something I once enjoyed and got a lot out of, however its not healthy. I still love food, the textures, sensations, theatre of food, still love eating out but eat less thats all. Im a fabulous cook which also doesnt help.

@Genevieva so, obesity is definitely more of a problem than improving your health by losing weight using weight loss injections. So for people who are obese these injections are a sensible and appropriate choice. The comparison isn't a thin healthy person with a lifetime of healthy living.

OP I’m the same as you - similar age, exercise regularly, never actually been overweight (apart from straight after having kids) but basically been watching what I eat for over 40 years. Every day my aim is to consume as close to a calorie deficit as possible. Of course I don’t succeed, otherwise I’d have died of malnutrition, but my life consists of relaxing a bit then tightening up a bit to compensate, then relaxing a bit, and so on. The thought that there could be an easy option out there is galling.

However, I don’t think it is an easy option. All the weight loss drugs that have been available over the years have come with potential side effects, which are at best annoying, and at worst dangerous. People who are using mounjaro are aware there could be risks, but they’re balancing up the pros and cons, and deciding that weight loss is more important. So they’re not having an easy time of it. I see their compromise as equivalent in terms of suffering to my relentless quest to not eat pudding!

I do too!!

I completely admit I am jealous of those who have enjoyed and revelled in their eating habits. Now they can sit back and allow an injection to undo their greed.

Have watched my weight all my life (60).
I have denied myself so much!

yes, I feel cheated!!!!!

Every day my aim is to consume as close to a calorie deficit as possible

really?

On some level I understand what you are saying. Spent most of my life battling food and the same stone of weight, having been put on my first diet at 13 by my mother. I had a horrible relationship with food that tipped over into fluctuating between anorexia and bulimia through my late teens and early twenties. As I aged, I envied the people who seemed to be able to stay naturally thin, for whom all day and every day wasn’t a constant battle with food, where my mood/the day wasn’t dictated by the number on the scale. It’s easy to look at others and resent them (because that’s what it boils down to, not ‘jealousy’), but it’s unfair because the person who is at the heart of this is yourself (or in my case, myself).

in my case I lost the battle with my weight when perimenopause, a broken foot, two close bereavements (cancer and a mindless hit & run), a suicidal autistic teen, severe 3m covid bout and lockdown all coincided. Started to gain weight in a way I was unable to staunch. I also have PCOS and am hypothyroid, something I’d battled with all my life, but only got diagnosed between my 4th and 5th miscarriage. So naturally I had an avalanche of depression. Before I knew it I was 6.5st over weight and no idea how to get it off. Dieting didn’t work. Nothing did. And it felt overwhelming. My cholesterol, BP and pretty much every medical indices evidenced that my body was in crisis.

So 15m ago I started on Ozempic and 8m ago, when my loss had stalled completely, I moved to Mounjaro. I’ve lost 6stone, the odd big chunk in one go, but generally very, very slowly. I’ve worked to get every stone off by renegotiating my relationship with food, starting to exercise again once I felt less self conscious about my body. I’ve changed the way I socialise, and with whom. But I no longer wake and head to the scales or worry about what I will eat. No longer get regular severe migraines as these were triggered by both hormones and sugar levels, I have no joint pains, I sleep better, my depression is more under control and my bloods show optimal readings in line with a person 10 years younger than I am. I still have another half a stone to go and am hoping to get there by Christmas. I will likely, due to PCOS and thyroid issues (for which my doses have been decreased) remain on some level of mounjaro for life.

But for the record, I don’t have a saggy, jowly face, or saggy loose skin. Much of that is genetic - god knows I deserve a few perks given the baggage? I appreciate that some posters like to celebrate the negatives of losing the weight and looking like shit afterwards because that feeds the narrative that the jabs are a cheat, that the weight loss is undeserved, that our journey to where you sit more naturally is less deserving. If that makes them feel better, fine, but to me it seems mean spirited and somewhat vindictive.

But I am guessing by this point you don’t really envy (people like) me any more? At least I am hoping so. I am hoping you will realise that you need counselling to explore your issues with food and the way your esteem is linked to how others perceive you, how you compare yourself to them, and that your control issues and fear of food is probably a hangover from a relationship issue with a parent or some event as a child that you’ve not processed and addressed. Many of us on this medication share those issues - that’s how we got where we are. The only difference between us and you is that we’re doing something about our issues with food and not directing our resentment towards others under the impression they aren’t struggling or that they have it easier.

It would be nice if we could be supported rather than castigated and derided. It would be nice if people could be kind. Because, from the support I’ve seen on the relevant threads on here, on the Facebook forums and elsewhere, there’s a whole army of us waiting to support you on your journey to a healthier relationship with your body and food without criticism. Perhaps you could look at us and see allies?

i think you’re right