Risking a flaming but jealous of those on weight loss injections

[Notmyfinesthours]

I’ve specifically not put this in the weight loss section as I’d rather hear from those who aren’t dieting or thinking about it. Might help me find perspective better.

I am not overweight. I never have been.
I have however had what feels like a lifetime of making sure this is the case.

I suspect many women feel like me. Brought up to fear being fat or greedy or ‘let myself go’ as if it were the worst sin.

Ive skirted close to or actually been in the midst of orthorexia for most of my adult life. Always saying no to pudding, finding the latest food that will fill me up but not have too many calories and fixating on it before I find the next one. Exercising most days, fitting it in by missing lie ins or nights in front of the fire.

Fretting in pregnancy, menopause and any ill health leading to immobility that it might trigger weight gain.

you get the picture? Self flagellation is big driven by an instilled fear of being fat given to many in my generation (I’m 58) (and yes I know I should address this first- I am trying but the media doesn’t help)

Several of my friends and family are big eaters, always seem to have the toastie and cake when we are out and by their own admissions do little exercise. They have often jokingly talked about being slimmer but say they like food too much and ‘have no willpower’ and can’t be bothered to deny themselves for the sake of a few dress sizes.

I know it’s more complex than that but they basically enjoy life in the way it should be enjoyed to my mind and accept they will be a bit larger bodied. I’ve actually always really admired this as an attitude or at least been a bit jealous of it.

But with the new weight loss injections several of them have dropped weight significantly and are so slim and delighted.

I just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection.

I know it’s more complicated, I know it costs them money, might have risks etc but it’s clear so many celebs are doing the same and it feels like it’s not going to be more commonplace.

Why is this making me feel cheated and am I just an awful person?

Op, you are being more honest than others who show faux concern for those on the weight loss injection when the truth is that they are jealous.

I don’t understand what you are telling me other than you think I’m stupid

I do not think you are awful

I think you are being honest

Its the best thing I have done for myself physically I am much healthier than I was five months ago but not everyone is supportive

no you are being honest, unlike a lot of posters on here who try and make you believe they never have a single uncharitable thought (but ironically are really cruel to the people who vocalise that thought). I suppose where you are at an advantage is you’ve been a lower weight for longer so perhaps less likely to have some of the health challenges those starting to take it have. And there will be some side effects, even if really inconsequential and irritating rather than serious.

Well, I presume they're not getting it for "nothing" as it they don't sound likely to have been so very overweight or have illnesses that mean they would get it on NHS.

I think you are missing the point of what the op is saying.

I’m confused. What’s the connection between this comment and the OP’s post?

Cheated of what? Feeling crap about yourself? Nobody looks at someone like you and judges them because of weight. Ok so your relationship with food/self image isn’t healthy by the sounds of it, but at least you’re not invisible or judged as lazy/thick/irrelevant etc.

in the same way that you’re bordering on orthorexia, allowed your relationship with food to blight your pregnancies etc, your friends/family have been blighted by judgement/self loathing and self sabotage

now they’ve found a tool to really help them silence the incessant food noise, the cravings etc and they’re finally getting control back. It’s not a cheat or an easy fix at all, it’s hard work. They’re starting from the point of not believing in themselves too, of not thinking they are worth it.

you have control - perhaps too much - but to feel FOMO or jealousy at others finding themselves is nonsensical.

they’ll probably look at you and think you’ve got it made, that life’s easy for you. Everyone has their own demons.

be happy for them, it’s a big deal.

I think you’re pretty awful except you seem to have self-awareness. Your mindset is that if you had to suffer then so should everyone else. I don’t know the answer but werent you raised to not be jealous of others?

I will also say, I am on mounjaro. On the NHS. I haven't lost significant amount of weight as it is prescribed due to an endocrine disorder, by my endocrinologist.

It has made a huge difference to me though, and I have been able to come off two other medications that I didn't like taking. I am finally sleeping again, and I don't have multiple panic attacks a day. It's also cured my almost constant nausea. For me, it has been a real miracle drug.

But very few people know I am on it, as I am quite sure I would face exactly the same judgement from them.

Well yes, but you've had the boost of being slim for most of your life. They will most likely pile on the pounds when they stop. Maybe you should consider having dessert now and again?

I've never thought of it like this before but you completely have a point: to your mind, you've done the hard work to stay slim and healthy your whole life, and now loads of people can just seem to write off those years using these injections.

I get it. It's not stupid to feel a bit aggrieved I don't think.

I've struggled with weight my whole life too, and am still just in the overweight category, despite having lose four stone. If I could have done it the easy way, fucking right I'd have taken that option.

I does sort of suggest that you can eat whatever you like for years, and take these injections and it'll be like it never happened.

YABU and also have a very poor understanding of the complexities of obesity if you think avoiding it is only about “being careful”

Have you always felt superior to these friends because of your slimness and feel that you won’t have that any more?

I felt similar. I did think I could lie and get the meds rather than agonise over this stone and a half. But I didn't go through with it as decided really tackling my eating and exercise might be better for me long term. I am meeting two friends tonight who have both used it to lose 2 stone and I know I'll feel a bit fat and frumpy like I always do with slim people! But that's my stuff, not theirs.

I so understand your thought process.

However, it’s likely your friends will be left with loose skin, stretch marks ect and will either have to stay on the drug a long time, pile the weight back on when they stop or have a life like yours, where they are constantly trying to remain slim.

You definitely should I’ve a treat every now and again though!

spend a day on a Facebook community for one of the weight loss treatments and you’ll see just how hard this process can be. So many women who have not told partners or family because they are afraid of the reaction, of the criticism and insults

it’s heartbreaking when other people feel they can be so cruel and mean about other peoples choices when it comes to their own health and wellbeing.

I’ve only told my oh and my son. Even he had something to say initially. he’s 18.. of course he thinks it’s easy to lose weight, but he worked crazy hard to get himself in shape and that’s without the menopausal madness and life long weight struggles I’ve had. I explained and he got it. He’s supportive of the losses I’ve had and says I look great

im finally getting to a place where I’m proud of myself. I’m actually believing for the first time in my life that I’m acceptable looking

I do get what you mean but it isn't a miracle drug - it can't change all of the internal damage that has already been done, the osteoarthritis in knees and other joints that will stay. It doesn't remove the fat cells,they just sit there empty ready to be refilled at the whiff of a donut whereas you won't have those fat cells to begin with.

Hopefully your DFriends will manage to control their diet afterwards but they are going to be have to be on it in a way that you don't to maintain their new weight.

You're not being unreasonable to feel like your life has been made worse by society's expectations, OP. Society's views on fatness and self-control seep into pretty much all of us.

Not sure feeling jealous of them is helpful, but it's not like you can help that. I also wouldn't assume the people on weight loss injections didn't feel the weight of those expectations though; they may just have hidden their feelings.

I'm not sure that's how it works?!

This is helpful, thank you

I suppose I’ve been assuming what they see and what they tell me, (that they are pretty relaxed about being bigger and enjoy the food and drink and having the extra time from not exercising) is the whole story. So it feels like they have literally been able to have their cake and eat it as a solution has now come along for them without any of the stress or denial.

They can all easily afford it privately so no sacrifice on that front.

Perhaps it isn’t all as rosy as it seems and I need to find more compassion. I guess I haven’t felt this as they have never declared any struggle or self loathing. They all present as being very relaxed and confident in their bodies and never tried any quick fixes or crash diets that I know of. They have plenty of times told me I’m a kill joy for saying no to cream on my hot choc etc. They say just saw people on this including celebs and thought it sounded like the best of both worlds so accessed it on line.

I appreciate for many the use of these meds comes after a lifetime of just as much struggle as I’ve had but without the actual end result of being slim. They definitely deserve some help and health benefit. I am genuinely a compassionate person on the whole so seeing it in that way is that everyone deserves a healthy life however they get there, and we aren’t in competition for it, has helped me thank you.

No, I can see exactly where you are coming from.

I too am definitely orthrexic in the way I eat. I try very hard to deny this to myself, but unless my family are at home I don't eat during the day. I lie to them at dinner and say I had a huge lunch etc etc.

I am by most standards pretty slim, but I'd like to be thinner. But I don't want to put anymore effort in. I have dreamt up plans of applying to an online program for WLI as my husband who would get accepted due to his BMI...but then I have to come into reality and know I would get found out. We only have a joint bank account and if I was found out to be at this, then he would find out about everything else.

The most ridiculous thing is I'm currently on steroids to manage a long term condition so I'm not even fully healthy. I'm fearful of putting on weight with them as they do start a voice in your head wanting carbs and sweets. And all I can plan is to try and fake it to get some Ozempic instead of accepting that being less of an idiot about food would make me feel better overall.

Trying to exist on the least amount of calories I can get away with without being found out in my mid forties is ridiculous, but I'm still at it. Rationally I don't think getting WLI would stop that voice, I think we would still be trying to 'game the system' and exist on even less than the WLI expected us to be.

I believe these are great drugs for people who are overeaters, this is a whole issue in itself. But those of us who want to chronically underneath will always find a way to do it and really don't need help with it. Even though it does sound like the perfect plan.

I think Sharon Osborne is in this category. She has used the Ozempic to give her "permission" to be severely underweight. And we need to fight against allowing ourselves permission.

I really have rambled here....your post struck a chord and I have kind of unloaded. Keep being kind to yourself OP

Yes I was but I was also raised to fear weight gain at the expense of my own happiness

I I think my jealousy is driven by my own sadness at my own experience but I appreciate that doesn’t excuse it and I do feel awful about my reaction hence posting here to try and face it

I does sort of suggest that you can eat whatever you like for years, and take these injections and it'll be like it never happened @SunsetSkylane

its really not like that at all.

but if people do carry on getting fatter and fatter, the can suffer all manner of serious health problems and shorten their lives.

@Seagall which part in particular, obviously I was using hyperbole with the "fat cells refilling at a whiff of a donut" but that is exactly how fat cells work.

Fat cells are a store of excess energy, fatter we get the more they store and when we lose weight they sit empty waiting to refill. New research show that largely fat cells numbers stay the same from adolescents so it's why people who were overweight as a teen will struggle with losing fat as an adult as they will already have the fat cells.