Risking a flaming but jealous of those on weight loss injections

[Notmyfinesthours]

I’ve specifically not put this in the weight loss section as I’d rather hear from those who aren’t dieting or thinking about it. Might help me find perspective better.

I am not overweight. I never have been.
I have however had what feels like a lifetime of making sure this is the case.

I suspect many women feel like me. Brought up to fear being fat or greedy or ‘let myself go’ as if it were the worst sin.

Ive skirted close to or actually been in the midst of orthorexia for most of my adult life. Always saying no to pudding, finding the latest food that will fill me up but not have too many calories and fixating on it before I find the next one. Exercising most days, fitting it in by missing lie ins or nights in front of the fire.

Fretting in pregnancy, menopause and any ill health leading to immobility that it might trigger weight gain.

you get the picture? Self flagellation is big driven by an instilled fear of being fat given to many in my generation (I’m 58) (and yes I know I should address this first- I am trying but the media doesn’t help)

Several of my friends and family are big eaters, always seem to have the toastie and cake when we are out and by their own admissions do little exercise. They have often jokingly talked about being slimmer but say they like food too much and ‘have no willpower’ and can’t be bothered to deny themselves for the sake of a few dress sizes.

I know it’s more complex than that but they basically enjoy life in the way it should be enjoyed to my mind and accept they will be a bit larger bodied. I’ve actually always really admired this as an attitude or at least been a bit jealous of it.

But with the new weight loss injections several of them have dropped weight significantly and are so slim and delighted.

I just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection.

I know it’s more complicated, I know it costs them money, might have risks etc but it’s clear so many celebs are doing the same and it feels like it’s not going to be more commonplace.

Why is this making me feel cheated and am I just an awful person?

Thank you. This is interesting. I guess I feel like I have constant and unrelenting food noise as well and I have my whole entire life- and it makes me miserable.
You are right that I have the impression they haven’t been miserable about their food noise as well as had the benefits of listening it (cake and more free time!) but now they get an ‘off key’ that I can’t have.

I appreciate the stories telling me this is unlikely to be true- and even if it was I need to just focus on solving my own issues and not worrying about anyone else.

I am amalgamating replies but this has really resonated and taking advice from others perhaps therapy can be my off key and WLI theirs. Really helpful posters so thank you.

I am also constantly fighting my cravings and would LOVE a magical pill that could fix that but I am not jealous at all of the current weight loss injections. You mention the risk but brush over them - they are in fact significant. It’s not a magic pill, it’s a heavy artillery that will likely backfire. Obesity is a serious enough condition to justify these risks but they are there.

Another thing to consider is how you become obese (in most cases, not all) - often by eating a lot of food that makes you feel shit and not moving enough. Is that the lifestyle you’re genuinely jealous of? There is more to life than just the calories - the quality of food and exercise affects everything. You can be slim and unhealthy in your body and mind.

I am much more inspired by striking a good balance between healthy eating - while also allowing yourself some ‘treats’, and exercising well because it feels good rather than because one should, or feels ashamed not to.

You mean you've spent your life feeling smug and superior and now all those fatties aren't even being punished for their gluttony.

Really horrible attitude op, you're basically saying you're sad because you enjoyed feeling better than your squishier sisters and now you can't.

Wow, us fat people just can’t win can we? Judged when we’re fat and now judged when we do something about it (at considerable expense) to sort it out. I would imagine most of your friends if they’re truly big and not just abusing Mounjaro to lose a stone, are lying when they say they weren’t bothered. My eating has caused me so much pain and distress in my lifetime, I wouldn’t in a million years tell my friends about it - especially not my slim friends who would be pretending to be sympathetic while silently judging like you are.

This will be a lifetime, astronomically expensive battle for me - you have absolutely no reason to envy me at all.

Absolutely, every single person losing weight needs to do it in a way that suits them and is effective for them, its no one elses business what other people are or are not going through

There is a big loss for the life that now has to change, for those who had surgery (I know this thread isnt about surgery), there is a loss about how things were before and you have to overcome that, same with people on injections, it has its pros and it has its cons and if the pros outweigh them then, all good but it doesnt mean you disregard the cons, you have to expereince them and live through them

I've lost 2.5 stone so far on weight loss injections and I'll tell you it's been from skipping the cake and all the nice treats in line with calorie counting. As someone who has fought my weight physically and mentally my whole life I've deserve to invest in myself properly now.

Well done to you for having that willpower and time and space to exercise and turn down treats.

Thank you for sharing. It’s helpful to know I’m not alone although I’m so sad you have also battled the same way. It’s exhausting being so obsessed about something you battle to deny yourself every single day. And still hate the way you look. I keep thinking if I at least got a killer body out of it maybe that would justify it but being slim is somehow never slim enough or still wobbly or lumpy etc etc.

I would like an injection that helps me feel less hungry all day every day so I can not think about food. I need to stop that turning into jealousy towards though to those who get one.

Now that the technology exists it's only a matter of time until patents lapse, fresh research reduces side effects, and the results can be achieved through pills not injections.

In a few years anyone who wants the effects will be able to access them. Then you can join in should you wish to.

@MrsDeWinter I’m on Mounjaro & wasn’t an overeater, always watched my weight etc, but due to a health condition and various medications I have been put on (including steroids which are notorious for weight gain) I have gained weight which has been extremely difficult to lose due to my health condition. I am on Mounjaro to balance out the weight gain I’ve had from my medications.

Op, it’s such a complex issue, maybe try to focus more on yourself than other people.

Many people are on Mounjaro etc for many different reasons.

I get it OP. As someone on the injections myself, it feels like an advantage that I don't feel hungry, tempted by foods etc. For you who's had to be restrained your whole life so that you don't gain weight, it makes sense that you feel cheated almost.

However, you have gone through your life being slim because of your restricted lifestyle. Your friends have been fat etc because they didn't restrict themselves in their lifes. The consequence of that was that they were probably fat most of their youth and you were slim.

I enjoy food My choice is not to avoid deserts in favour of being skinny. I'm not jealous of your skinniness, it's your choice. Weight loss injections aren't risk free, and presumably don't last forever, not something I'd choose to do.

I can remember as a young adult thinking, god I can't wait to get to my 50's and I won't care any more, and I can just eat what I want. Well, I'm in my 50's and still controlling my diet OP.

I hear you in as much as it's a daily battle. I'm vain enough to accept it though, I really don't want to be fat and unfit, so I say no a lot, and run.

I sympathise. I’ve lost 30 pounds from cutting my calories very low. I’m stuck in a massive rut and want to overhaul my entire life. But the dieting has been very miserable. I have PCOS so to lose weight I have to consume less than 1400 calories. My BMR is depressingly low. Many nights I come home and just eat my chicken and veggies in bed and stay there all night. I’m always cold now!
I hypothetically could spend the money but I’m planning on having some cosmetic surgery next year.

The mental torture of dieting is a nightmare. Would love for this element to be eliminated.

It's a positive that you have identified your emotions over the eating/weight management of you and your friends. You know it's your issue, not theirs, but you seem stuck as to how to process and work through these feelings.

I think a good therapist would help you massively.

In the meantime, try not to beat yourself up with guilt. If your friends are real friends, and knew how you feel, they'd probably feel bad for you rather than upset with you. And I say that as someone who has successfully used Mounjaro.

Anyway these threads never fail to amaze me with the investment people have in other peoples weight loss methods and eating habits

You eat too much, you eat too little, you eat too much fat, you eat too much carbs, you eat too much salt, you eat near bedtime, SW is rubbish, WW is rubbish, diets are bad for you, calorie deficits arent effective, injections and surgery is cheating, blah blah blah

Everyone just has to do what is right for them, advice is helpful, but people need to find their own way

You have an eating disorder, I would address that if you haven't already.......and yes it's OK to be jealous

But - if they paying for these drugs its expensive and studies show it's a quick fix and the weight will probably go on faster when they stop taking it. The side effects can be horrendous. Its at least £139 a month and the goes up in price with higher doses. It has altered Sharon Osbourne's metabolism to the point she admits, she is too skinny, she doesn't like it and is physically unable to gain any weight no matter what she eats.

This is a medical drug that people who really need it for a medical capacity are struggling to get hold of because half the world and its wife are taking it as a quick fix for weightloss

Your tone completely doesn't match the OPs, and only one of you is coming off badly tbh.

I get where you’re coming from but I don’t know a single person on the injections who hasn’t had years and years of trying to lose weight by dieting, dealing with the constant failure/binge/depression of failing / binge. I imagine the injections are a relief not to be back in that constant cycle

I don't think you are unreasonable at all. Much the same way as I am sure there are plenty of people wondering why they bothered to save and scrimp to buy a home that will be sold to pay their care home fees when Jill next door has hers paid by the government.
I don't think there's an answer to it though as frankly if people can now loose weight on a drug then they should. (And I sat that as a fairly healthy weight currently on a diet as I've put on a few pounds more than I would like and my size 10s don't fit!)

I don’t think that’s it but I’ll reflect on this and challenge myself. I love my friends and have genuinely only ever felt deeply jealous that they have what has always appeared to be such a relaxed attitude with food and their bodies. They willingly get in hot tubs when we have away days and sit up without covering their midriffs. I’ve always been the anxious one who covers herself up so I don’t inwardly feel any superiority.
It seemed to me they got to keep this attitude, just feel less hungry so can drop weight and not have to battle it. I don’t think they need to drop weight, I think I do iyswim and I want to do it without all the agony I go through.

But your harsh words have made me promise to reflect more and face up to the answers.

I totally agree with you. Being a child of the 90s when Bridget jones was seen as sooo fat...I've spent a lifetime restricting myself to remain in my jeans. I maintain a fairly iron discipline, but my god, I'd love to take ozempic and eat what I want, even for a month. I am absolutely aware my attitude to food isn't healthy and I think I might have some sort of dismorphia because I am so critical of my body. It's the usual trap for women, viewed through the prism of our bodies, but that's been my mindset for so many years...it's a bit sad now that I'm thinking about it.

Would you mind me asking a question?

I thought that they worked by switching off the appetite in a way, reducing the desire to overeat.

If your weight gain isn't due to overeating how does it help you lose weight?

Genuine question, not being in any way snarky.

One thing though- I've lost weight very slowly on weight loss drugs on purpose, so I can keep my muscle and shrink slowly too, and I do still enjoy food. I do eat cake and chocolate, but just very occasionally and part of the overall calories of the day, and you are right, having less food noise about it is a nicer experience.

I don't want to live with permanent nausea and hate food, and I haven't, and if that was the sacrifice to make, it wouldn't be for me.

I think in the future, people will regulate their weight using pills and possibly go in and out of treatment over the long-term. If and when that happens, that might be something you can do if you feel so strongly about it.

I'm proper fat. Everyone thinks I don't care, sometimes I even believe that myself.

I'm not going to tell someone that I hate myself because I can't say no. That my overeating is a million times more complicated than what I eat.

That I hide behind my weight.

I'm not on WI, I'm not convinced they would work for me-but I don't begrudge anyone.

I think unless you understand the psychology of wanting something but depriving yourself of it for quite abstract reasons such as 'health' and in that very deprivation you are heightening your obsession with the thing you are rejecting you just won't get this post.

I have so much food chatter in my brain. I bargain with myself, I cajole. I am in a constant state of input versus output such as 'If you have that treat you will enjoy it and feels less glum but your arteries and your arse won't thank you for it, so DON'T eat it. The dopamine though? It feels so good but you will then feel bad for it after. This walk is really nice, having a piece of cake after isn't too bad is it? If you have the cake there will be no wine for a week though...or cheese. Hmm, when is it lunch? Read the label on this sandwich, shit the saturates are red but the calories are amber, put it back. Ah, the label on this one is all green. Pick that, you don't like falafel but have it.' And on and on and on and on.

If you don't have this about food the angst by OP will seem ridiculous. I am a size 10 and if I could take the injection to stop this constant food chatter in my brain I would but I don't qualify and losing weight will be frowned upon (recovered anorexic). Having a constant dialogue about it is exhausting, I'd love to not worry about food.