Risking a flaming but jealous of those on weight loss injections

[Notmyfinesthours]

I’ve specifically not put this in the weight loss section as I’d rather hear from those who aren’t dieting or thinking about it. Might help me find perspective better.

I am not overweight. I never have been.
I have however had what feels like a lifetime of making sure this is the case.

I suspect many women feel like me. Brought up to fear being fat or greedy or ‘let myself go’ as if it were the worst sin.

Ive skirted close to or actually been in the midst of orthorexia for most of my adult life. Always saying no to pudding, finding the latest food that will fill me up but not have too many calories and fixating on it before I find the next one. Exercising most days, fitting it in by missing lie ins or nights in front of the fire.

Fretting in pregnancy, menopause and any ill health leading to immobility that it might trigger weight gain.

you get the picture? Self flagellation is big driven by an instilled fear of being fat given to many in my generation (I’m 58) (and yes I know I should address this first- I am trying but the media doesn’t help)

Several of my friends and family are big eaters, always seem to have the toastie and cake when we are out and by their own admissions do little exercise. They have often jokingly talked about being slimmer but say they like food too much and ‘have no willpower’ and can’t be bothered to deny themselves for the sake of a few dress sizes.

I know it’s more complex than that but they basically enjoy life in the way it should be enjoyed to my mind and accept they will be a bit larger bodied. I’ve actually always really admired this as an attitude or at least been a bit jealous of it.

But with the new weight loss injections several of them have dropped weight significantly and are so slim and delighted.

I just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection.

I know it’s more complicated, I know it costs them money, might have risks etc but it’s clear so many celebs are doing the same and it feels like it’s not going to be more commonplace.

Why is this making me feel cheated and am I just an awful person?

Yes apparently now its a disorder to eat healthily and leave things out of your diet if you dont think they're doing you any good.

Yet its also a disorder and 'bad thing' to overeat and to also eat UPFs in excess (difficult not to, they are made to make us eat them in excess)

Its also a disorder to not eat enough.

Everything is a disorder!

I can see where you are coming from but there are always going to be medical advances that change the ‘rules’, and a slimmer population helps us all in the long run (burden on NHS and social security). I also think exercise is way more relevant than diet for living well into older age (balance, strength, bone mass, heart health etc.). But one day they will invent a pill that gives you those benefits too.

You're not an awful person. However weight loss injections aren't a panacea. You still have to watch what you eat and exercise, you don't just 'get slim'. There's some pretty grim side effects too. Don't envy women who have had a lifetime of judgement & fat shaming for taking a legitimate opportunity to help themselves.

Pcos
Hashimoto
Lipodema

You are more than welcome to my health conditions that make weight gain super easy and weight loss super hard - I gain if I go over 1000 cals and that is with exercise- at 800 cals i only lose at the same rate as a moderate dieter (for normal bodies the weight drops off quick at that calorie level) so it isn't just a case of watching the wine or chocolate or just being careful and dropping the Xmas/ holiday weight for me - it is hard and unsustainable- nothing to be jealous of and don't worry- I don't get to enjoy myself. And no I am not greedy, gluttonous, stupid and lazy or whatever you judge me as to support this jealous feeling of yours.

Plus for lipodema you can't even diet that off.

And I haven't even hit menopause yet!

I hope to get the injections soon.

I do get where you’re coming from and have had a couple of me moments of similar feelings. BUT, the exercise you’ve done has strengthened your body, especially your bones- and muscle mass, which is so important as we age. Maybe enjoy dessert now though!!

I'm fat and wouldn't touch these injections with a barge pole.

But I do feel sorry for you OP - it sounds like you've had a lifelong difficult relationship with food and your body.

They weren’t happy at the extra few dress sizes.
Hence the joking while eating toasties etc…

Same folk always say “oh, you’re lucky to be slim”
No. It takes work to be slim, like you point out.

I get what the OP is saying and its not just said about weight. Its kind of in the same vein as e.g. "I fought and struggled to get a good degree and my manager left school at 16 and doesn't care who knows it." You have spent your life struggling to maintain something that society values and your friends decided that society's opinion could go hang and they would go their own way and that hurts enough but now it appears to you that those people are having their cake and eating it. They can choose to have what you worked so hard for without apparently putting the hard yards in. It makes you feel that your lifetime effort was for nothing, is valueless. Feeling that doesn't make you awful but I think you could benefit from some help to work through those feelings

You're not awful at all OP and I know exactly what you're talking about. I don't feel the same as you do with regards to them and I speak as someone who has received treatment for many years for my eating disorder. But I do see your point.

They haven't carried on as normal with the cakes and just had an injection that's made them slim though, have they? The injection makes them able to do without the treats and follow the sort of diet you follow to stay slim. So you're all restricting food, they just have to have injections as well. So, no, nothing whatsoever to be jealous of. In one way or another we all have to choose between what we'd prefer to consume and how much we'd prefer to weigh. Now if someone was on an injection that meant they could eat all the cakes and be slim, I'd be jealous of that.

They're not a different source as the pharmacist / pharmaceutical company have no idea why you are using them

What conversations like this make clear to me is that the world (and often our parents) have done a right bloody number on screwing us all up over food and weight. In my case, my parents were screwed up by theirs and I suspect theirs by theirs. And all screwed up by society.

In the end I think ALL of us need compassion. How did we get to the state where we are ashamed of a biological need to eat and ashamed of the results. Or fearful to eat and fearful of the results. Where we resent each other and hate ourseleves for it.

I could genuinely sit and weep over the generations of millions of people (mostly woman but not exclusively) that have carried this burden of guilt and shame over eating.

Orthorexia is an eating disorder. It's 'eating healthily' as anorexia is 'watching your diet' and binge-eating is 'enjoying your food'. And, for that matter, as OCD is 'being careful' or agoraphobia's 'being a homebody'.

There are a lot of disordered eaters on Mumsnet. Doesn't mean it's not a pathology.

I get what you mean. However you are saving around £200 per month for the rest of your life.. you can spend it on something nice? In most cases they will out weight back on if they stop whereas you are on a more stable course. And the health risks is the main factor that means I’d rather be in your position.

The OP's not bashing anybody, she's talking of her own real life experiences and struggles. It's take a special sort of spite to interpret OP's post and responses as you have and I feel sorry for you.

Good luck although your intake will still need to be the same if thats the rate you lose at, it just will feel more comfortable

And just to pick up on your comment about the loss rate, most people on the jabs are losing around 1 to 2lbs a week, Im not sure where this narrative comes from that people are losing a stone a month or something. Im sure some can, in the early days, but most dont

I didnt even lose that and had WLS, my loss after the first couple of months was about a 1lb a week, very very slow!

You are not awful just honest.

But the thing is I have also denied myself food all my life, exercised when I don't enjoy it all to stay slim. Menopause stopped all this working for me and I piled on the weight.

I use Wegovy but I have to be on a strict diet with it. I can't eat all the pies and lose weight. The only thing that is 'free' on Wegovy is the willpower.

The medication for diabetics is ring fenced by the NHS in the UK. This has been done to death on a million threads and no I catn find them, I cant be arsed.

The ops post was designed to have us at each others throats ,how could it not .
Not spiteful at all ,just saying it as it is

What are these grim side-effects being mentioned every other post? All I'm reading is that GLP-1s improve cardiovascular health more than would be expected from weight loss, appear to retard dementia, and assorted other benefits still under review.

I totally get it TBH! For me, it’s when people on weight loss injection threads declare, “OMG this is how skinny people feel” about their lost “food noise”. As someone with anorexia, every damn day is a constant battle between the 2 parts of my brain, one saying, please eat something!” And the other saying, “no, you’ll get fat!” All day long. Maybe some thin people don’t have food noise, but many of us have it constantly, we just battle against it.

No. It hasn't been. Because your pharmacist does not know why you have been prescribed it. I go in with my prescription and they don't ask me why I am taking it. Possibly private Vs NHS has been ring fenced, but your pharmacist will not know why you are taking it.

This is me, OP. You're not alone.

I understand what you’re saying. I work hard to eat sensibly and exercise to stay trim and on the face of it those who haven’t worried can then lose the weight easily and with ‘no effort’. However in reality the side effects don’t sound great and once they stop the treatment they will have to work at maintaining that weight, so I’m not jealous of that for them.
I do think that healthy eating and appropriate exercise needs to be reinforced early on with kids and their families as there is an increasing level of obesity in this country which is pretty depressing.

Exactly this, they can’t do it forever and then the weight will come back on, but for the time they are slim they have fewer health risks.