Let them. (What have you walked away from and not looked back?)

[girlfriend44]

I thought this might be interesting.
There's a saying go round and a group called let them.

You walk away from conflict, arguments, problems without getting angry and getting into conflict also chasing people when the relationship is toxic.
You basically walk away and let people think what they want.
Have you walked away and not engaged recently and let them.

I think sometimes it can make you feel better.

We always think we have to engage, argue back, try and get our point across, be worried about what people think.
Have you adopted the let them approach and has it helped you?

Some people on a group have had let them tattoos done, and show them off.

Thank you so much!
Yes, my DS is free now too.

Yes it's more this than going NC with people etc.

DH often had what I called "hare brained schemes" and, instead of trying to point out the foolhardiness or lack of logic, I started saying "yes dear". Most of the time the things didn't happen anyway

I've always been like this, I can leave a job, friendship, partner anything and not look back or much care if they are not treating me right. It saves a huge amount of energy and drama in the long run.

I don't have an inflated opinion of myself, I just don't tolerate shitty behaviour.

Exactly. Everyone’s constantly trying to compete with each other and will always have something to say that’s intended to give them the upper hand against you, no matter what you do in life and you aren’t going to change it, so just concentrate on what you want and what makes you happy. Others opinions don’t mean shit. Let them do as they please and you do the same. You can’t control people. Something I always live by is ‘’when someone says or does something needless and unpleasant to you, instead of wondering what’s wrong with you, wonder what’s wrong with them’’ And it’s so true because happy people don’t go around mistreating others. It’s made life so much easier and my self esteem so much higher.

I think this is a lot like me.

I have always, in my head, thought it was mostly "bugger this, I can't be arsed with the faff".

Let Them sounds far more adult 🤣

This is an important lesson to learn in life. Fuck 'em and let them

’when someone says or does something needless and unpleasant to you, instead of wondering what’s wrong with you, wonder what’s wrong with them’’

I like this^

Sometimes I use as a gauge;

Do it to me once, shame on you
Do it to me twice, shame on me

If I’m in a situation I don’t like, I assess it with this, and it helps me make the decision as to what to do next.

I do this, and I’ve been encouraging my daughter to do the same.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference "

The trouble is when you start arguing it gets nowhere lol because everything thinks they are right.

I have done this or variations my whole life I would say I accept people for who they are and expect the same in return, sure I don't agree with everyone all the time but why am I more right than them?

So I don't stress myself over them

It’s been two years for me. So pleased I walked away from
the madness. Poor dh still suffering with his bro, but he is nearly ready to shut the door. It’s sad, but self preservation has to come to mind when people are toxic.

Exactly!

Well done! You’re DH will get there in his own time and once that door is closed, keep it firmly closed.

It’s a wonderful feeling when you adopt this approach.

Been tested on this today!

What happened? I like all the real life examples

So ghosting then?

I was inspired to do this many years ago when DD was about 7. I overheard her conversation with a friend who was saying to her 'If you don't do what I want, then I won't be your friend anymore,' and DD gave her the most bemused look I've ever seen and simply said, 'Don't then' in a faintly puzzled tone.

It was just awesome. A lightbulb went off in my head and I thought, 'Genuinely, that is the most PERFECT response to someone I've ever heard'

She sounds like she had a very wise head on her shoulders for 7!

I gave DD similar advice when she was going through some difficult friendship issues in Year 9. Basically I told her that she can't control what other people think of her, let them think it. She lost a close friend to another "group" and it all became quite nasty - usual catty schoolgirls stuff. DD was distraught at the time, it was like a bereavement.

Sure enough, when she dropped the rope and walked away from the drama she found peace.

Yes.

So often I've been nagged into getting some task started by DH, to then have my share completed and his sitting there undone. Or he insists we need to buy xyz DIY tool when I'm perfectly clear that we already have what we need (because it's MY toolkit, and he wants to pretend he has the manly knowledge to do DIY...).

But it's under a fiver, so I let him.

Because it's not worth the argument about how I always contradict him :D (is it my fault that I have an encyclopaedic memory for every time he bought something we already had or didn't bother to send thank you cards to his share of he wedding guests?)

Friend of several years nice woman generally, contact on WA and meet up for a meal say once every 6 weeks Been to each other’s houses, occasional drop ins, etc.

been a few awkward moments… arranged to meet in restaurant, I got there… waited… she’s changed venues and is sitting in a restaurant a few doors down (Dublin quays)… I’ve got settled, coat off, got fizzy water so a bit put out but hey ho

go to the ‘new’ restaurant… she orders wine for us (I like her taste so fine with this) it’s brought to table and poured. Friend doesn’t like it and asks for it to be changed. Manager or proprietor comes over, face like thunder but keeping lid on anger. She apologises and explains she wanted something a bit different… gets ‘smoothed’ over but put a cloud over things

lots of awkward moments as above over the years. Really, quite a few!

anyway about 8 months ago, maybe longer, asked if her and her husband would like to see comedienne on earlier this month. She said yes, super… I said put date in diary and booked 2 tickets for them…. My treat.

about a week before SM she gets in touch to say we need to meet up as we haven’t seen each other for a while

i think, hmmm she’s forgotten SM… but decide to wait and see

then Sunday night, 10.00 pm sends me WA to say they can’t make it. The night out was Tuesday. Feeble excuse. No emergency.

I said thanks for letting me know.

and have ‘walked away’. There’ll be no looking back