I know IABU - just lost it over a parent and child space

[General90]

I feel awful because of my eldest child and it was so out of character for me.

we were going to our local supermarket which is always full of people parking in the child bays without children. Anyway, a car had followed us on the motorway and a roads and had driven like a lunatic, tailgating me and cutting people up. She was in front of me when she pulled into the car park and took the last child space and got out and walked into the shop. My DH was driving so I got out and went in where I proceeded to ask her to move her car and she was aggressive to me so I just lost it and we had an argument in the shop.

my DS didn’t witness me shouting at her but I’d tried to get her attention when she’d parked and so he knew there was an issue.

all the way home he was saying he was worried and asked if the police would arrest her. I feel horrendous that it’s by behaviour that influenced this. I know I should have just left her and found another space.

I am pregnant and hormonal, but didn’t excuse my behaviour.

Forgive yourself, u were irritated and hormonal. Let it go. The lady shouldn't have parked on child bay

Please don't excuse your disgraceful behaviour on MH, hormones or pregnancy. It's an insult

Completely see why you'd be annoyed, this would wind me up too (also currently hormonal pregnant...but would irritate me even if I wasn't!)

Agree with PP though, she's clearly an arrogant arsehole who will continue to be one regardless of such confrontation...hopefully karma exists!

Honestly if this thread written by an elderly (non-disabled person) who got on a bus and wasn't able to sit in the priority seating because strapping young men were sat there there would be outrage. No one would be saying "those seats aren't protected in law, just a curtesy" "don't be so entitled" etc.

For a parenting forum there is such a consistent lack of empathy, consideration and compassion for mothers of young children.

I think this is a wake up call - you can't behave like this, is there a reason you are so angry?

It is about the size of the spaces. In my local supermarket the car park is generally fairly busy so never a "quiet corner" with extra space to park. So only option for space to easily get the babies/toddlers into the car is the parent/child spaces. So to save my back and injury to my children these spaces are needed.

Secondly the parent/child spaces are near the trolleys which means I can get a trolley whilst still seeing my children in the car and bring the trolley to the car to load the children into. So for safety I am not happy to walk away from my car (my toddlers can now unbuckle their seat belts) to fetch a trolley when I can't see them.

Thirdly parent and child spaces have direct access the the footpath so I can walk my toddler safely and not across a busy carpark. Maintaining our safety.

Also for those saying about disability in this the man whom park in the last parent/child space parked next to an empty disabled bay (so not disabled).

Oh back off Gandhi. Pregnancy hormones can make women emotionally volitile. The OP KNOWS she shouldn't have.

She's pregnant. Sheesh. Did no one have pregnancy volatility?

Oh don't beat yourself up, it happens. In future, I would just report them to security inside the shop and get them to call out their registration across the tannoy.

Agreed. Good on you OP. She might think twice next time! Why should she get away with it! Bad behaviour should be called out more often then people might stop acting like such dicks because they can!

Hornonal rage is a thing. Just as menopausal rage and premenstrual rage is. Is it ideal? No. But it is an explanation and a reason to go easy on yourself.

It can be bad enough that it is considered a psychiatric condition and considered in law

Surprised you are getting such a hard time tbh, it was her in the wrong! Good on you for speaking up.

You know what OP, we all try to be balanced and rise above it but sometimes in life people just really get on your fucking nerves! I try to avoid it because I always feel like shit after a confrontation but people do make it hard sometimes 😁

You both behaved badly. Your son might not have witnessed it, but you upset him over a parking space. Was it worth it for that and the stress to your unborn child?

@Daschund no it definitely wasn’t, hence why I feel the way I do afterwards.

I don't think there's much point in AIBU but try to reflect on what's going on for you, it's definitely not healthy and even apart from the risks of antagonising random people who could get really angry back you could be in trouble with the store if the person makes a complaint, but even more, for you, try to sort out what's wrong and destress your life from the outside and inside and think about values and how you want to behave as you obviously feel bad.
Tomorrow is a whole new day :)

I might get angry if an able bodied person took a wheelchair spot (my brother is disabled) but I would never react over those parent/child spaces.

Behave 🤣🤣

I don't mean to kick you when you're down OP but following someone I to a shop and shouting at them is an unhinged thing to do! Work on your anger about little things. Life is too short to lose it about the little things.

Go give you kid a hug and chill the fuck out

I watch too many crime dramas but I'm a major wuss- what if the other person was in a mafia family or has an over protective brother/ husband/ dad ??? 😅🤣
Sorry op very unlikely but don't antagonise people !!!!

🤨 I’ve had ‘pregnancy hormones’, twice, at no point did they make me aggressively accost a randomer in public.
She put herself at risk.
She made a bad decision that could have gone very wrong.
Presumably she didn’t post on here to get a load of pats on the head and positive affirmation.

It's absolutely anti-social to park in a parent and child space if you don't have a child with you.

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to comment. I have tried to read most of them but didn’t expect so many responses.

my behaviour was totally unacceptable and I will make sure I recognise this when I have my meeting with the peri-natal MH team tomorrow. Regardless of what I’m going through, it isn’t an excuse for the way I acted. While I understand some posters agreed with the principle reason re. Parent and child spaces, I would usually have just driven off and got on my my day. Which is absolutely the right thing to do, so why I acted so out of character is very questionable.

I will take on hoard the advice, particularly to model better and calmer behaviours.

Poor you. I know how it is to completely act out of character because something just tipped you over the edge. She sounds like a selfish bitch.

On parking spaces… I think they all need to be bigger. They are never big enough for my car (XC 40) and several times I’ve had to clamber in via the passenger seat.

Those spaces benefit others just as much as a parent and child. The meagre space of a regular parking bay makes it damp near impossible to manoeuvre a toddler or baby out of a car seat without dinging the car next to you.