To think my H is being an asshole for saying...

[tellmesomethingtrue]

that he'd like me to dress my age, or younger, and not wear old lady clothes that no man would find attractive?

I'm 41.

@gillefc82 dont bother going to M & S!! i was in the other day (aged 69) and I wouldnt wear much of their stuff! did get a new pair of jeans but have no idea who designs their dresses! I refused to wear that style back in the 70's and still refuse to wear it!! hideous!! and everything is for over 6.5 feet tall! I am 5 feet tall! @tellmesomethingtrue how does an old lady dress? (I am one now! lol)

God. Men. My DH did it in a slightly different way, he told me I needed to buy some arse leggings. To which I said you first. Anything he says to put my outfit choices down I turn it back around and say at least I don't dress like a farmer/p.e teacher/ 80s DJ, which he hates. My marriage isn't in a good place as you can tell.

I can assure you that many women after the 'weird in between age' don't wear M&S.

My Ex had 2 category of clothes he liked; smart or sexy. He couldn’t comprehend a working wardrobe of wash and wear clothes that weren’t exciting (they were work appropriate). I wonder if yours is the same?

I only used to comment on my ex’s dress sense when asked. Or on anyone’s clothes actually.

He used to tell me constantly how unsexy my clothes were, used to call my PJ’s ‘grannies’

Funny enough, now he wants to reconcile, I’m apparently now stylish🙄

I wouldn’t put up with this, unless you specifically asked his opinion. Wear what makes you happy. Also ‘as his wife’ added to it is not nice but I don’t know why!

Depends how it's said. Like others have said, if you have a healthy relationship and it's said in the right way, no one would take offence.

I've been in a slump previously, where I wore the same jacket, even when it ripped under the arm.

I didn't realise how depressed I was and had let myself go by not caring about what I wore, when I previously had been stylish.

DH, a close friend or family member not saying anything would be more an issue than someone helpfully bringing it to my attention.

Sounds like you have more issues than this though as that's more a face to face in the moment comment, not a conversation to have on text.

What about the things he does as your husband?

I'd bring a few of them up

Well I would take him shopping! Let him spend his money and only wear the bits I like!

Say “I just checked on Google and this is how a t**t’s wife is supposed to dress, once you’ve become a man my outfits will change to match’
Then arrange a night out with your mates and wear a leather dress and stilettos 🤣 and stay out all night.

Coming from a bloke, that's constructive criticism.
He's only saying it for your benefit.

That isn’t for her benefit, it’s for his even more so when he mentioned what he thinks other men find attractive and her not being it because of how he feels about how she dresses. Why would he want her to attract other men other than for his own ego?

No decent, confident bloke would say that about his wife.

I highly doubt that changing the way you dress will fix your problems.
You said about dressing for you and not for men which I absolutely agree with however, why don’t you have a little experiment with different clothes? Maybe you’ll find that you like things that you wouldn’t normally buy/wear? I don’t dress for my DP, I dress for me but I do like to wear things that I know he will appreciate from time to time because I want him to look at me and think, that’s my woman 😍 but then I know he thinks that just looking at me anyway. We’ve been together for nearly 15 years and not without our fair share of downs.
Could you be a little accommodating to his needs? He wants to look at you and be like, “yes that’s my woman!”.
I hope you guys can find a level ground.

To be fair they do have some good bits

Equally misogynistic comment.

What’s he on about !??
All the young women I see around about where I live are in chunky sneakers , wide leg or barrel leg jeans and pastel chunky jumpers / Borg fleeces at this time of year .
They wear very little makeup or it’s very natural looking makeup .
In summer I was seeing a lot of midi floaty floral dresses and hair bands .
What does he expect you to wear ?
I am in my 60s so tend to be in above knee dress, cardigan , tights and ankle boots or leggings with a long shirt that covers my hips and bum .
so I’m dressing mainly for comfort

@StMarieforme How is that even vaguely misogynistic?!

This!!! Firstly it doesn’t sound as though he put it very nicely and secondly he’s a coward for doing it over text message and not just having a conversation about it in a more mild mannered and kindly away. He’s been very unkind.