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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I've booked the trip of a lifetime

253 replies

soundsintheair · 12/10/2024 16:34

DH & I have been looking for ages and after a few drinks we have booked to go on a holiday of a lifetime, however I need to tell my manager next week. I will need 3 weeks off including over Christmas /NY

I work for a smallish team and we have to split the leave between us as we can't all be off at the same time, so it will mean that some of their Christmas plans will be affected if they were hoping to have time off. I know he might tell me I can't have it off in which case I would leave my job.

I feel awkward about it but also I've just got to that point where I just want to do what makes me happy. Aibu?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 14/10/2024 11:34

InNeedOfAWin · 12/10/2024 20:06

Because OP has posted on a public forum and invited others’ opinions.

Also, I’m clearly not the only one with that opinion, so feel free to jump on them too.

She didn't invite opinions on her destination. You and one or two others chose to offer them anyway. I haven't got to the end of the thread yet so I don't know if it's been asked but I'm wondering what the OP's husband does for a living and if his work situation is the same. Will both of them be job hunting?

piccolorhinoceros · 14/10/2024 11:36

@coffeesaveslives I read the posts just fine thanks (and that is in the OP), but the operative phrase is if her holiday isn't approved. That changes the intention from leaving a job on good terms, to flouncing off in a huff.

backinthebox · 14/10/2024 11:38

berksandbeyond · 12/10/2024 19:01

How is Mexico the ‘trip of a lifetime’?

Well, since you asked…..

As a professional traveller, who visits 2-3 different long haul destinations each month and have done for nearly quarter of a century, I have Mexico right up there at the top of my list of favourite countries I’ve been to. Where is the other? Well, I’ll tell you, in a bit. 🤣 I would easily recommend Mexico for the trip of a lifetime. The first time I went was in 1998, and we rented a van and drove down from the US through the desert to Puerto Penasco. After arriving in the dark and drinking too much tequila, we woke next morning and it was beautiful - I nursed my hangover warm flat Coke and huevos rancheros whilst watching pelicans diving for fish, a thing I still love to watch now when I’m there (I did it last week, between hurricanes, but minus the hangover!)

For the adventurous, the first thing you need to do is get out of Cancun, which is the airport you probably arrived at. It’s a shithole, aimed at American underage drinkers. The Mykonos or Ibiza of Central America - but no one assumes the rest of Greece and Spain lack culture or natural attractions just because there’s a party vibe going on in one corner! That would be the opinion of the uneducated. If that describes you, let me enlighten you.

Leaving Cancun to the west, you can first visit Valladolid before coming to Chichen Itza, the best restored Mayan ruined city. It’s amazing, and there are well known cenotes nearby to swim in, Ik-kil being the most famous of many. This is the furthest many get from Cancun on a day trip, so is fairly well known, I won’t describe it further here. Wandering further along this road you pass various other smaller Mayan sites in various states of excavation, before coming to Merida. A fascinating little city few visit, with great nightlife (less frenetic than Cancun) and restaurants, it’s a very good place for stocking up on traditional Mexican crafts such as hammocks, glassware and carvings. It’s not far from Merida to sleepy Celestun, one of Mexico’s many Biospheres, where you can take boat rides through the mangroves and see flocks of flamingos in the lagoons, and go looking for horseshoe crabs, giant iguanas, howler and spider monkeys, raccoons, and coatamundis. From Celestun or Merida, head south along the Campeche coast, taking in more little towns, cenotes, jungle and Mayan sites. Eventually you begin to get to the highlands of Chiapas, and this is a wonderful place (if a little questionable on the rebel activity front!) Jungle ruin Palenque is the standout sight, but Tonina is amazing too - Mayan sites with very few visitors given their historical importance (mainly because they are so difficult to get to.) We rode horses up into the cloud forests near Tonina, through the Spanish moss and orchids, and watched fireflies lighting the sky as we slept in hammocks hung in a cabana on a mountainside in the jungle. The cascading clear blue waterfalls of Agua Azul are worth a visit too. Onwards towards San Cristobal de las Casas, another beautiful and traditional town in the highlands, famous for its culture and traditional textile work.

From here you have a choice - you are halfway to Mexico City, and could continue on to there with all of it’s Aztec history and sites, as well as more recent Mexican culture. Or you can head back towards Cancun, which is the route I know better (having done it 3 times, taking around 3 weeks each time but seeing new things every time I went.) Or, for the very adventurous, you could turn southwest into Guatemala through the endless dense jungle of El Mirador National Park, to see Tikal, the greatest of Mayan cities, onward through Belize, and return to Cancun that way.

I chose to stay in Mexico, so many things still to see there, and went through the northern part of El Mirador NP, spending a night feeling like Lara Croft at Calakmul along the way. We didn’t see a jaguar, but many do here. I wanted to spend more time on the Yucatan coast. Once by the sea, I visited the shimmering turquoise waters of Laguna Bacalar - famous Instagram location now but deserted when I stopped for a swim there. UNESCO World Heritage Site, the Sian Ka’an Biosphere and down to Punta Allen next for a long tailed boat through the lagoons to see manatees and dolphins in the wild, as well as eagle rays, saltwater crocodiles, massive turtles, and endless bird life - everything from frigate birds to eagles to tiny hummingbirds. You can take trips out to the Mesozmerican reef (the second longest barrier reef in the world) to scuba dive, and beyond to see the whale sharks.

Northwards, you begin to come back towards the more touristy places, but they are still worthy of your time! I spent over 2 weeks just on this bit once, with my children who still rank it as one of the best holidays ever. Basing ourselves in Tulum, the first time I went I stayed on the beach in a tent, the second time, in a $10 dollar sand floored cabana I had to provide my own hammock for, the third time we had a bed and our own bathroom but still the sandy floor of a traditional cabana. However, you could stay in a top end yoga retreat cabana like something the elves built in Lothlorien if you wanted to splash the cash. Beautiful bars and restaurants - the best margaritas are here, and one night under the full moon we watched hatching turtles crawling down to the surf. Two Mayan sites are worth your time here - the obvious one of Tulum, still spectacular on its cliff top even with all the day trippers from Cancun, and Coba, deep in the jungle and containing the only pyramid I know of you can still climb to the top of (I’ve done it twice. Still terrifying.) Moving back up towards Cancun you are now into the Riviera Maya tourist zone. You can still find secret little cenotes to cool down at where only the locals go, but there are the big ones too, where you can raft, paddle board, climb, snorkel and scuba through the caves, watching the blind fish below you, and if you go at sunset - the bats as they leave their caverns for their nights hunting.

Into adventure park territory now, Xel-ha is still fabulous, despite the number of tourists. For a one stop experience, you can see mangroves, shallow reef snorkelling, zip wire, tubing along a freshwater river with cliff diving spots along the way, and the restaurants and bars are included. Xplor is where the big zipwires are though, equally as good at night as during the day. Playa del Carmen is a tourist town but less ‘drunk yanks’ than Cancun, and a good base for boat trips, sailing, scuba and snorkelling. Go further north though if you want to snorkel or dive at the Museum of Under Water Art (MUSA,) the first modern sculpture park of its kind, and certainly the biggest. You can see this if you take a boat trip to Isla Mujeres, although sadly these days that is just an extension of the worst tourist traps of downtown Cancun, no longer one of the most beautiful beaches in Mexico.

Even on a single night stop in Cancun, with little time to get out, I still find something wonderful to do - most recently I took a kayak deep into the Nichuptze Lagoon directly behind the zona hotelera.

Or, you could be like some of my colleagues, and say ‘Mexico? It’s shit. Nothing to do except sit on a beach, or go to Coco Bongos.’ 🙄 It’s all about your mindset.

Anyway, back to the OP @soundsintheair - if you are doing it properly, 3 weeks for this trip of a lifetime will not be enough. Best be fair to your colleagues, hand your notice in now so you don’t drop them in it over Christmas, and plan for longer. It’s really not fair to issue your boss a ‘give me the holiday or a leave’ ultimatum. The polite way to have done it would be to have asked properly before booking, or accept that you will have to leave your job gracefully in order to pursue this adventure. I sincerely hope that you don’t class 3 weeks of sitting on the beach in Cancun as the trip of a lifetime! You will be disappointed!

And where is the other destination in my top places for the trip of a lifetime? Well, you’d be brave to go there atm, but Jordan with it’s deserts and reefs, entire ruined cities from Petra to Jerash, Crusader castles and medieval history, Dead Sea, biblical sites from the place where Moses saw the Promised Land to the river where John the Baptist baptised Jesus, its welcoming Bedouin culture, rock climbing, star gazing, dune bashing, camel riding - it comes close to perfection imo as the trip of a lifetime. But maybe not for now.

Costa Rica? Nice enough, but for those who haven’t really travelled and want somewhere safe and popular to go and read about it once in a magazine. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been, and I’d like to take the family as it will be fun, but don’t sneer at Mexico and suggest Costa Rica instead. Comparing apples with oranges there.

Niceandkneesy · 14/10/2024 11:50

coffeesaveslives · 14/10/2024 10:34

@Niceandkneesy but people leave jobs all the time - or do you only think it's disrespectful because she's planning on a nice holiday rather than something necessary?

The only disrespect shown was by OP to her colleagues, as I previously stated, yet you seem to overlook this.

MILLYmo0se · 15/10/2024 07:40

OP have you spoken to work yet? How much notice do you have to give if you are leaving?

coffeesaveslives · 15/10/2024 10:22

@Niceandkneesy I don't see leaving a job you're not happy in as being remotely disrespectful 🤷‍♀️

coffeesaveslives · 15/10/2024 10:23

piccolorhinoceros · 14/10/2024 11:36

@coffeesaveslives I read the posts just fine thanks (and that is in the OP), but the operative phrase is if her holiday isn't approved. That changes the intention from leaving a job on good terms, to flouncing off in a huff.

But the end result is the same so I really don't get why people are getting so worked up over it.

Each to their own, I guess, but it must be exhausting getting so offended by other people all the time.

RawBloomers · 15/10/2024 19:40

piccolorhinoceros · 14/10/2024 11:36

@coffeesaveslives I read the posts just fine thanks (and that is in the OP), but the operative phrase is if her holiday isn't approved. That changes the intention from leaving a job on good terms, to flouncing off in a huff.

She isn’t “flouncing in a huff”. She’s leaving so she can do what she really wants to do.

FckTheSchGateHuns · 15/10/2024 21:00

Just leave. If you are granted it the rest of staff will resent you anyway.

Kjpt140v · 15/10/2024 22:58

soundsintheair · 12/10/2024 16:43

We're going to Mexico btw

Thought you said it was a holiday of a lifetime.

LoveBluey · 15/10/2024 22:58

Wow some people are very invested in this and also failing to understand that not all workplaces are the same. We don't actually know if other people have already had any Xmas leave approved and how much this may impact them. The OP says their plans may be disrupted but also that many people choose to work as they get more money.

In my previous job I was in a team under one line manager but we all had such separate workloads it didn't really matter if we were all off at the same time as we couldn't cover for each other so we'd all book 2 weeks at Christmas.

I've also worked at a university that pretty much closed for 2 weeks so everyone had leave over Christmas.

My current role requires a bit more cooperation between the team but I wouldn't hold it against someone else for booking their dream holiday.

FluffBut · 15/10/2024 23:18

I’ve had between 4 and 6 week annual holidays since 2006. I’ve always given plenty of notice to my employers of my intention to holiday for between 4 and 6 weeks at a time, often over Christmas. This has never been challenged when plenty of notice is given and handovers of responsibilities are carried out to others before leaving.

Not all employers are the same and not all industries are the same. I personally find it less disruptive to myself and the organisation to take one big chunk of time off rather than a week in Feb, week at Easter, 2 weeks in the summer, week at October half term, week at Christmas. Constantly needing someone to cover you.

In fact some roles are less busy over Christmas bar Retail, Hospitality and NHS, so employers welcome you taking time off when it’s quiet.

That said, I would never book a holiday without first having the time off authorised by my manager.

MocktailMe · 24/10/2024 20:55

If you're happy to quit then I don't think it's unreasonable at all. Is it unreasonable to hand in your notice at all after the start of October incase it disrupts Christmas??? I left a job the week before Christmas before and had no regrets. Enjoyed my Christmas, started my new role in the new year.

Companies don't care about you, remember that.

CherubEarrings · 24/10/2024 21:49

soundsintheair · 12/10/2024 16:43

We're going to Mexico btw

Mexico trip of a lifetime? I would not classify it as that. Not worth behaving badly for surely?

MeAgainAndAgain · 26/10/2024 16:11

CherubEarrings · 24/10/2024 21:49

Mexico trip of a lifetime? I would not classify it as that. Not worth behaving badly for surely?

Handing in (or contemplating handing in) your notice isn’t ’behaving badly’.

And many people would classify a trip to Mexico as ‘a trip of a lifetime’.

Other people can have holidays when and where they want, no need to put them down for it.

fairycakes1234 · 26/10/2024 19:30

Sorry and off topic a bit but Mexico isn't really a trip of a lifetime, just a sun holiday 😀

MeAgainAndAgain · 27/10/2024 17:05

fairycakes1234 · 26/10/2024 19:30

Sorry and off topic a bit but Mexico isn't really a trip of a lifetime, just a sun holiday 😀

Why don’t you try to meet up with the OP so you can actually shit on her rather than verbally doing it?

RichardMarxisinnocent · 28/10/2024 18:11

fairycakes1234 · 26/10/2024 19:30

Sorry and off topic a bit but Mexico isn't really a trip of a lifetime, just a sun holiday 😀

That's strange, because I spent almost 2 weeks in Mexico, didn't go anywhere near a beach, and did absolutely no sunbathing. I did plenty of sightseeing, and visited museums and ancient ruins. It's completely possible to go to Mexico and have a holiday that's nothing like a sun holiday (but there's also nothing wrong with going on a sun holiday).

backinthebox · 30/10/2024 03:49

@CherubEarrings @fairycakes1234 im not excusing the OP’s approach to this conundrum, but your posts about ‘not the trip of a lifetime’ do demonstrate your ignorance. Mexico is very much the trip of a lifetime if you want to make it so (and I agree it can also be ‘just a beach trip’ if you are the sort who would just sit on a beach for a fortnight.) I posted a lengthy post earlier in the thread about the trip of a lifetime sights you could see in Mexico, but there were a lot of words in them, so I suspect your eyes just slid past without reading. I can highly recommend Mexico as the trip of a lifetime though - 25 years a professional traveller, 3 long trips and numerous short trips to Mexico in that time, and I feel I’ve only just scratched the surface. I would love to see more, there is much more to the place than the beach. (Top tip btw - if you ARE going just for the beach, I can recommend dozens of better places!)

fairycakes1234 · 30/10/2024 09:18

backinthebox · 14/10/2024 11:38

Well, since you asked…..

As a professional traveller, who visits 2-3 different long haul destinations each month and have done for nearly quarter of a century, I have Mexico right up there at the top of my list of favourite countries I’ve been to. Where is the other? Well, I’ll tell you, in a bit. 🤣 I would easily recommend Mexico for the trip of a lifetime. The first time I went was in 1998, and we rented a van and drove down from the US through the desert to Puerto Penasco. After arriving in the dark and drinking too much tequila, we woke next morning and it was beautiful - I nursed my hangover warm flat Coke and huevos rancheros whilst watching pelicans diving for fish, a thing I still love to watch now when I’m there (I did it last week, between hurricanes, but minus the hangover!)

For the adventurous, the first thing you need to do is get out of Cancun, which is the airport you probably arrived at. It’s a shithole, aimed at American underage drinkers. The Mykonos or Ibiza of Central America - but no one assumes the rest of Greece and Spain lack culture or natural attractions just because there’s a party vibe going on in one corner! That would be the opinion of the uneducated. If that describes you, let me enlighten you.

Leaving Cancun to the west, you can first visit Valladolid before coming to Chichen Itza, the best restored Mayan ruined city. It’s amazing, and there are well known cenotes nearby to swim in, Ik-kil being the most famous of many. This is the furthest many get from Cancun on a day trip, so is fairly well known, I won’t describe it further here. Wandering further along this road you pass various other smaller Mayan sites in various states of excavation, before coming to Merida. A fascinating little city few visit, with great nightlife (less frenetic than Cancun) and restaurants, it’s a very good place for stocking up on traditional Mexican crafts such as hammocks, glassware and carvings. It’s not far from Merida to sleepy Celestun, one of Mexico’s many Biospheres, where you can take boat rides through the mangroves and see flocks of flamingos in the lagoons, and go looking for horseshoe crabs, giant iguanas, howler and spider monkeys, raccoons, and coatamundis. From Celestun or Merida, head south along the Campeche coast, taking in more little towns, cenotes, jungle and Mayan sites. Eventually you begin to get to the highlands of Chiapas, and this is a wonderful place (if a little questionable on the rebel activity front!) Jungle ruin Palenque is the standout sight, but Tonina is amazing too - Mayan sites with very few visitors given their historical importance (mainly because they are so difficult to get to.) We rode horses up into the cloud forests near Tonina, through the Spanish moss and orchids, and watched fireflies lighting the sky as we slept in hammocks hung in a cabana on a mountainside in the jungle. The cascading clear blue waterfalls of Agua Azul are worth a visit too. Onwards towards San Cristobal de las Casas, another beautiful and traditional town in the highlands, famous for its culture and traditional textile work.

From here you have a choice - you are halfway to Mexico City, and could continue on to there with all of it’s Aztec history and sites, as well as more recent Mexican culture. Or you can head back towards Cancun, which is the route I know better (having done it 3 times, taking around 3 weeks each time but seeing new things every time I went.) Or, for the very adventurous, you could turn southwest into Guatemala through the endless dense jungle of El Mirador National Park, to see Tikal, the greatest of Mayan cities, onward through Belize, and return to Cancun that way.

I chose to stay in Mexico, so many things still to see there, and went through the northern part of El Mirador NP, spending a night feeling like Lara Croft at Calakmul along the way. We didn’t see a jaguar, but many do here. I wanted to spend more time on the Yucatan coast. Once by the sea, I visited the shimmering turquoise waters of Laguna Bacalar - famous Instagram location now but deserted when I stopped for a swim there. UNESCO World Heritage Site, the Sian Ka’an Biosphere and down to Punta Allen next for a long tailed boat through the lagoons to see manatees and dolphins in the wild, as well as eagle rays, saltwater crocodiles, massive turtles, and endless bird life - everything from frigate birds to eagles to tiny hummingbirds. You can take trips out to the Mesozmerican reef (the second longest barrier reef in the world) to scuba dive, and beyond to see the whale sharks.

Northwards, you begin to come back towards the more touristy places, but they are still worthy of your time! I spent over 2 weeks just on this bit once, with my children who still rank it as one of the best holidays ever. Basing ourselves in Tulum, the first time I went I stayed on the beach in a tent, the second time, in a $10 dollar sand floored cabana I had to provide my own hammock for, the third time we had a bed and our own bathroom but still the sandy floor of a traditional cabana. However, you could stay in a top end yoga retreat cabana like something the elves built in Lothlorien if you wanted to splash the cash. Beautiful bars and restaurants - the best margaritas are here, and one night under the full moon we watched hatching turtles crawling down to the surf. Two Mayan sites are worth your time here - the obvious one of Tulum, still spectacular on its cliff top even with all the day trippers from Cancun, and Coba, deep in the jungle and containing the only pyramid I know of you can still climb to the top of (I’ve done it twice. Still terrifying.) Moving back up towards Cancun you are now into the Riviera Maya tourist zone. You can still find secret little cenotes to cool down at where only the locals go, but there are the big ones too, where you can raft, paddle board, climb, snorkel and scuba through the caves, watching the blind fish below you, and if you go at sunset - the bats as they leave their caverns for their nights hunting.

Into adventure park territory now, Xel-ha is still fabulous, despite the number of tourists. For a one stop experience, you can see mangroves, shallow reef snorkelling, zip wire, tubing along a freshwater river with cliff diving spots along the way, and the restaurants and bars are included. Xplor is where the big zipwires are though, equally as good at night as during the day. Playa del Carmen is a tourist town but less ‘drunk yanks’ than Cancun, and a good base for boat trips, sailing, scuba and snorkelling. Go further north though if you want to snorkel or dive at the Museum of Under Water Art (MUSA,) the first modern sculpture park of its kind, and certainly the biggest. You can see this if you take a boat trip to Isla Mujeres, although sadly these days that is just an extension of the worst tourist traps of downtown Cancun, no longer one of the most beautiful beaches in Mexico.

Even on a single night stop in Cancun, with little time to get out, I still find something wonderful to do - most recently I took a kayak deep into the Nichuptze Lagoon directly behind the zona hotelera.

Or, you could be like some of my colleagues, and say ‘Mexico? It’s shit. Nothing to do except sit on a beach, or go to Coco Bongos.’ 🙄 It’s all about your mindset.

Anyway, back to the OP @soundsintheair - if you are doing it properly, 3 weeks for this trip of a lifetime will not be enough. Best be fair to your colleagues, hand your notice in now so you don’t drop them in it over Christmas, and plan for longer. It’s really not fair to issue your boss a ‘give me the holiday or a leave’ ultimatum. The polite way to have done it would be to have asked properly before booking, or accept that you will have to leave your job gracefully in order to pursue this adventure. I sincerely hope that you don’t class 3 weeks of sitting on the beach in Cancun as the trip of a lifetime! You will be disappointed!

And where is the other destination in my top places for the trip of a lifetime? Well, you’d be brave to go there atm, but Jordan with it’s deserts and reefs, entire ruined cities from Petra to Jerash, Crusader castles and medieval history, Dead Sea, biblical sites from the place where Moses saw the Promised Land to the river where John the Baptist baptised Jesus, its welcoming Bedouin culture, rock climbing, star gazing, dune bashing, camel riding - it comes close to perfection imo as the trip of a lifetime. But maybe not for now.

Costa Rica? Nice enough, but for those who haven’t really travelled and want somewhere safe and popular to go and read about it once in a magazine. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been, and I’d like to take the family as it will be fun, but don’t sneer at Mexico and suggest Costa Rica instead. Comparing apples with oranges there.

I very much doubt OP is going to do all that if she drunkingly booked it but yes, sounds v interesting alright. Fair play

fairycakes1234 · 30/10/2024 09:19

MeAgainAndAgain · 27/10/2024 17:05

Why don’t you try to meet up with the OP so you can actually shit on her rather than verbally doing it?

What???

Bjorkdidit · 30/10/2024 09:20

fairycakes1234 · 26/10/2024 19:30

Sorry and off topic a bit but Mexico isn't really a trip of a lifetime, just a sun holiday 😀

It says more about you than the OP if that's what you think.

Waitingforfriday75 · 30/10/2024 09:23

Admins, please change the title. Mexico is not a trip of a lifetime!

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 30/10/2024 09:25

I'd ask for the leave and state I will work all christmas/new tear next year to compensate.

backinthebox · 30/10/2024 09:45

Waitingforfriday75 · 30/10/2024 09:23

Admins, please change the title. Mexico is not a trip of a lifetime!

🤣🤣🤣

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