Tmi but left sanitary towel in bathroom

[Embarrassed3]

This morning I accidentally left a sanitary towel on the bathroom side. I did roll it up as usual but it must have come undone. This has never happened before and it was a genuine accident. I normally always put it in the bin straight away. Next thing I know DP comes storming in the room shouting “are you having a laugh you fucking scruffy cunt”

I get that nobody would want to see that but it was a genuine accident that has never happened before and I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I wouldn’t have a problem at all if he’d have come in the room and reminded me not to leave it on the side but what he did actually scared me a bit

Sorry I know tmi

What do you mean he slags you off?

OP, you shouldn't feel frightened by your partner and in your own home no less! If you find kicking him out a bit difficult to contemplate, why not just ask him to move out to have a cooling off period? I suspect once he's out of the house you'll find you can finally breathe easy and stop being jumpy and nervous (I know you didn't say you are but I suspect you will be if you are constantly on edge). Give yourself a little time to decide what the best course of action is especially if you are ok financially. Talk to your mum and friends.
BTW, he might suddenly become very nice again but be very careful to let him back in, leopards don't change their spots.

💯 LTB

The house is yours and you said up thread you'd manage financially without him. You're in a really strong position here OP.

I'd be telling him to get out for a few days at least. He needs to think about how he speaks to you and IF he changes his attitude you may consider moving forward with him. Your sons and you deserve better and you do need to toughen up! You sound lovely but don't let that be your undoing. He doesn't deserve your kindness.

My ex would have acted like that. I'm DH would have realised it was a mistake and put it in the bin, because he's a grown up. It's just the same as if he's accidentally left something out, I'd put that in the bin for him. People aren't perfect so we work as a team. It's a massive overreaction from your DH and I hope you're ok. Please don't let him teach your boys this is how to treat their partners.

Oh my god a woman bleeds and leaves what is effectively a bandage out.
He needs to get a grip.

You said upthread you could go to your mum’s. Why would you even consider that if it’s your house?!! I can’t believe he’s behaved in such an abusive and appalling way and it’s you that’s questioning whether you’re in the wrong. You own your home and would be financially ok without him, so WTAF is he bringing to the party?

You describe yourself as a nice person, OP, and I’ve no doubt you are, but allowing this arsehole to live in your house whilst simultaneously pummelling your self-esteem into the ground is not ‘being nice’ - it’s being a doormat. Why aren’t more angry that he treats you this way? He’s been horrendous to you and you’ve responded perfectly legitimately by calling out some of his unsavoury habits and now you’re worried that you’ve ‘hurt his feelings’. Why? Do you think he gives even the teeniest tiniest shit about yours?

Think about why you’re choosing to stay with a man who scares you, shames you and calls you a cunt (and whose behaviour may ultimately rub off on your children) instead of kicking his sorry arse out of your home and living the rest of your one and only precious life feeling free and happy and doing whatever the hell you want in your own bloody bathroom.

The house is yours and he’s a cunt. Stop being a door mat. Pack his shit and change the locks. Why do women put up with this crap.

Brilliant, OP.
I just read the house is yours and you'd be fine financially.
REMOVE that disgusting twat.
👆

That is dreadful, OP

His reaction is disgusting.

Your children deserve better.

You deserve better.

You will be so much better off without him.

Throw him back in the bin and BE HAPPY.

My step dad did this to me and it utterly mortified me. It was an accident and I felt so so ashamed. I've forgiven him for being a complete twat but I do read things like this and I get a sting. My daughter does it all the time by accident and we don't hound her or make her feel bad. DH would never do that. If he did I could not live with him.

Why??? You forgetting to remove the sanitary towel was obviously a mistake. Him leaving his piss all over the toilet seat and skid marks in the toilet is deliberate. He could clean them up before he leave the bathroom but doesn't.

You sound lovely and you deserve something/someone better than him.

In later posts, the OP has said:

The relationship isn’t great at the moment. Since have DS2 he has become incredibly selfish. Leaves everything to me, goes out whenever he wants. He definitely doesn’t care about me or my feelings but when I pull him up on these things he ends up switching the blame. That’s why I started the thread because I wondered if I was genuinely being unreasonable. He makes me doubt myself a lot.

The OP has also said that he leaves his pee all over the toilet seat and skid marks in the toilet for her to clean up.

His language is rude and misogynistic and he obviously has no respect for the OP.

She isn't married and she owns the house, so time for him to leave.

I'm a man and have experienced this with both my wife and a female friends who's home we stayed at...I picked them up with loo roll and got rid of discreetly.

Women have periods. Why the drama. It's normal, it's just blood, it doesn't kill you. What a child.

Does your husband leave his pee on the toilet seat and skid marks in the toilet for you to clean up like OP's husband does?

OP's husband is a selfish, angry, disrespectful hypocrite.

OP has said that her husband leaves pee on the toilet seat and skid marks in the toilet for her to clean. So he is a hypocrite.

I thought there'd be (a lot) more to it than just this one awful comment.

Make plans to leave this asshole!

Jeez you have a seriously low bar for acceptable behaviour. “One angry remark”!

I’ve been with my husband for 25 years, we have children together. We have managed to never call each other names in all that time. Yes we’ve been angry at one another at times, but calling each other disgraceful names is something I could never come back from.

If my husband called me a scruffy fucking cunt then it would be marriage over. Absolutely unacceptable. I can’t believe anyone thinks that’s just one minor angry comment.

Why does your partner think it's ok to shout at you or call you a cunt at all, much less over something so petty? That isn't a normal way for someone who loves you to treat you, no matter what you'd done.

It's pretty gross, I wouldn't like finding something like that. But I doubt I'd even mention it unless it happened more than once, nevermind make such a drama about it. Raise your standards and find someone who will treat you nicely even when they're annoyed.

Apparently new trend is to get kids involved in laundry, get boys to learn how to clean period pants. Girls to clean man skids. Just facts of life.

What a weirdo!

Why didn't he just tell you or (most sensible) throw it in the bin for you?! And to shout at you - what a prick!

Just asked DP what he'd do... 'put it in the bin, why?'

Change the locks once he's pissed off out. Dump his stuff. Get a friend round for support and THEN tell him he can sling his hook, he's not welcome back.

This is only going to get worse and if he's scared you now, and he knows he has and seems to be quite unbothered by that, he will do it again. Please don't wait until he hits you to take action.

DARVO. Look it up. He’s avoiding taking responsibility for his behaviour by attacking you and making out he is the victim. Could he have narcissistic tendencies? Look it up and see. Not a personality disorder may be but a personality style.

He sounds awful.